Judgment Oct 8, 2005
A lot of people question why God allows certain things to happen.  Why does God allow little kids to die when they're infected with some sort of disease or birth defect?  Why did God allow Hurricane Katrina to kill a bunch of people and cause so much damage?  For the former, some people think it has something to do with God punishing the parents.  For the latter, a lot of Christians point to the evil and corruption that was rampant in the city of New Orleans. 

I hope God doesn't work like this.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't.  If he did, we'd all be in trouble.  How many of us can claim that we've never sinned?  The answer is none of us (except Jesus Christ [1]).  If God immediately and/or directly punished people for the sins they committed, we would all be undergoing punishment.  But we're not.  Evil people are successful and healthy.  Holy people are poor and tortured.  If God made things work in a 1-to-1 relationship, this would be the opposite. 

So the answer to the question of why this stuff happens isn't quite satisfying.  The answer is:  For a reason.  It sounds like a typical Christian cop-out answer.  "You just have to trust God."  "It all comes down to faith."  These are weak answers because they don't give us anything to work with.  We want something concrete, something we can quantify.  Oh well.  That's the answer God gives.  Everything happens for a reason.  We might not ever know that reason.  But instead of trying to blame God for it, maybe we should try to figure it out.  I've thought about this in the past and come up with a few conclusions (1, 2, 3). 

[1] Hebrews 4:15 says that Jesus was without sin.  A lot of people think that's impossible, and some people point to the episode where Jesus overturns the tables of the money changers in the temple (Mark 11:15-17).  They say he did this in anger.  Anger in itself is not a sin.  Misplaced anger is a sin.  Ephesians 4:26 says to not sin when you're angry.  Other translations put it more clearly:  "Be angry, and yet do not sin" (NASB).  In other words, anger is ok if it's righteous anger, or anger for a reason and directed at the right thing.  That's exactly what Jesus did.  People were making an unfair profit by selling things and exchanging money inside the temple.  It would be similar to selling CDs and DVDs in the church for $25 when they're really only worth about $5.  And this was happening inside the temple.  Jesus knew the temple wasn't meant to be a marketplace, so he told everyone to get out of there. #religion
Crawlspace (2) Oct 6, 2005
There's a crawlspace underneath our house.  It's like a basement for short people.  There's a little tiny door that you have to crawl through to get in.  You must be hunched over while in the crawlspace.  It's only about 4 feet high at the highest point.  The big problem with our crawlspace is the massive infestation of crickets on the door.  Whenever I open the door, about 2 million crickets jump off in all directions.  It's like a scary movie.  But even after these 2 million, there are still a bunch on the door and around the inside of the doorway.  I have to wave an object around to scare them away.  I always have to remind myself that they're just crickets, and not large black spiders. 

#entertainment
Adware Oct 6, 2005
I hate AOL.  Let me clarify and repeat:  I absolutely hate AOL.  This company is the biggest proliferator of adware in the world.  Adware is defined as "any software package which automatically plays, displays, or downloads advertising material to a computer after the software is installed on it or while the application is being used."  I would add "any software package which automatically installs, plays, displays..."  That's exactly what AOL does.  Digg said there was a new AIM client, so I decided to check it out.  I looked at the AIM website and it looked pretty cool, so I downloaded it and installed.  And that's where my problems started.  Installing AIM actually installs about 3 or 4 different things.  You get Aim, you get some sort of indexer like Google Desktop, and you get some stupid advertisements on your desktop.  I didn't ask AIM to install these things.  That's the definition of adware.  And not only that, it was a pain in the butt to get rid of it once I realized that it was just like every other piece of worthless nonsense that spews forth out of AOL.  I had to reset my computer twice.  You say, "Reset?  You don't have to reset after installing or uninstalling anymore.  That's so Windows 98."  Well guess what.  AOL has taken us back to 1998.  Thanks AOL.  I'm thoroughly impressed, you bunch of scum-sucking jerks. 

This same type of nonsense happened when I installed Verizon software for DSL.  And I knew it would happen.  I tried to set up DSL without using the CD, but it didn't work.  So I popped in the CD and waited for the carnage to begin.  Sure enough, Verizon installs a bunch of nonsense programs, adds a toolbar to Internet Explorer, and changes your home page.  Hmm that sounds familiar.  Oh yes, it's adware.  A virus.  A malicious program on your computer that does things you don't ask it to do.  Uninstalling was a bit easier than AOL. 

Another example is Yahoo.  I kinda like Yahoo.  They do some cool stuff.  But sometimes their Internet Explorer toolbar gets installed without asking to be installed.  That's not cool in my book. 

I would recommend using Miranda or Gaim for instant messenging instead of AIM.  I would recommend using Google for everything else (Google Toolbar, Google Desktop). #technology
Ahead of schedule Oct 5, 2005
The three sweetest words in the English language.  Ahead of schedule.  I've been having excellent fortune with products and services being ahead of schedule.  I ordered some stuff from Dell.  They said something like, "It'll be here in about 10 business days."  But I received it in like 5 business days.  Cha-ching!  I ordered DSL service (eh...) from Verizon (eh...).  They said, "Your service ready date is October 6."  But then I got an email that said, "Hey duder, your service is ready now!" (paraphrased).  I'm pumped.  They could easily be lying when they say it'll take longer.  But hey, I'd rather be lied to in that way than for them to be late in getting me my stuff.  So I say to you:  Lie to me if you think it'll make me happy when you're actually ahead of schedule.  I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than unnecessarily angry. #psychology
Cool Whip Oct 5, 2005
What's the deal with Cool Whip?  How can a food that tastes this great even exist?  I love this stuff.  If I could, I'd marry it, but that doesn't exactly work.  I love those people who say, "Ooh, we can have apple pie with whipped cream," but they're talking about Reddi-wip, not Cool Whip.  Reddi-wip is like skim milk:  it's worthless and gross.  It's what happens when you add water to something good.  I agree that Reddi-wip is cooler because it shoots out of an aerosol can, but I'll scoop my Cool Whip out of a tub any day. #food
Funny Bible Oct 5, 2005
In early times in Israel, a man was required to marry his brother's widow if his brother died without a son so as to carry on that brother's bloodline.  If the brother refused to marry the widow, "his brother's widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, 'This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother's family line.'" (Deuteronomy 25:9).  Ouch.  They took the whole bloodline thing pretty seriously. 

Another funny thing is found in Deuteronomy 25:11-12 - "If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."  Why on earth would she do that?  Was this a common problem?  Apparently it was the thing to do, seeing that it was important enough to write about in the Bible.  But like all weird and funny things in the Bible, it's there for a reason.  I'm not completely sure what that reason is, but I'm sure it's there. #religion
Underwear Oct 5, 2005
College is over.  I'm a "grownup".  I have a job.  I'm married.  Some things can't carry over from college.  I can no longer sleep 11 hours a day.  I can no longer watch the Simpsons 3 times a day (and it's no longer on as much).  I can no longer fake my way through life -- oh wait, yes I can, and I do. 

But there's one thing I used to do in college that I should've never given up:  not folding my underwear.  I figured "Hey, I have a job now.  I need to fold my underwear."  Maybe I'm the only person who ever folded their underwear.  If so, then this post makes me sound a little crazy.  If not, then I need to share my findings with the whole world:  Folding underwear is the biggest waste of time in the history of the world.  There's absolutely no point to it.  It's not like anyone is ever gonna see your wrinkled underwear.  Y'know, 'cause they're underwear.  And underwear aren't like socks:  Socks must be folded or at least grouped together.  Otherwise you waste your time trying to find matching socks in the morning.  And if anyone's like me, mornings aren't the best time to test out your matching skills.  So instead of wasting precious minutes folding underwear and neatly placing them in your drawer, just throw 'em all in there in a big ball.  There's no need to sort them in alphabetical-color order anymore (not that anyone would do that).  Some people may argue that it saves precious drawer space by folding things.  To them I say this:  Shut up stupidheads!  The space you save isn't worth the time you waste.  You can quote me on that. 

And if you're really bold and want to save even more time, stop folding your undershirts (if you wear them).  There's no need for an unwrinkled undershirt; it goes under.  Instead, focus more time and effort on labeling your shirts with days of the week and writing your last name on all your underwear (just in case anybody steals your underwear; then they'll know it's yours).  Thank you for your attention, and have a nice day. #lifestyle
Shave Oct 4, 2005
Sometimes I decide to stop shaving for a while.  This decision is usually based on the fact that running a sharp piece of metal across my face tends to hurt sometimes.  Plus, it saves time and energy.  I can be a bit lazy.  But when I stop shaving, I try to keep everything at least somewhat neatly trimmed so I don't look like a dirty freak. 

But the best part about not shaving is the number of comments I receive from people.  One girl plainly stated, "I really don't like it" with a disgusted look on her face.  Another girl said, "I think it looks pretty good.  I don't mean on you.  I mean guys in general."  And after a month of not shaving, my boss asked, "Are you trying to grow a beard or something?"  It's like my social experiment:  See how many mean and offensive things people can say.  And it's not like people try to mask their feelings or anything.  Nothing like, "Hey that's different" or "What does your wife think?"  Instead, I hear things that you wouldn't normally hear from a person concerning your appearance.  I don't go around saying things like, "Ouch.  Your haircut is hideous."  "Nice try with the whole weight loss thing.  But not quite."  "Is that makeup you're wearing?  Oh.  Oh." 

If I was really offended, I would just shave.  That's pretty easy.  But I kinda like the comments I get.  It's entertaining.  I guess it just surprises me how open and honest people are with me.  Sometimes I'll answer that I'm letting myself go.  Y'know, 'cause I'm married.  I have no reason to try to look good anymore. #lifestyle
Wikipedia roundup Oct 4, 2005
Bambeanos - Colgate Palmolive food from 1975 that was withdrawn from the market because it caused excessive flatulence.
Harvey Ball - Inventor of the smiley face.
List of alleged conspiracy theories
List of commercial failures
List of ethnic slurs
Made-up words in The Simpsons
MacGuffin - A plot device that advances the story, such as the Ark of the Covenant in Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the rug in the Big Lebowski.
Microsoft Bob - Failed user friendly interface for Windows 3.1.
MythBusters Episodes
Software bloat - The term that describes software systems that use large amounts of system resources for unnecessary features. #technology
Expectations (2) Oct 3, 2005
I sorta don't like when people find out about my website because then I feel like I have to live up to their expectations with the things I write.  If they're expecting funny things, I feel like I need to think of funny things.  Or if ... [fill in the blank; I don't know what people expect].  I'm sure people are bored when I write about Christian things, but I won't stop doing that.  And I bet some people are surprised at how negative I can be.  Or maybe they're not surprised.  [The thing to remember is that everything's a joke.] 

But if I really didn't want people to see the things I write, I wouldn't publish a website, something that's available to the population of the entire somewhat modern world.  And I also wouldn't include names and keywords that are sure to increase traffic to my site. 

So if you have expectations for my site, try to lower them a little bit.  Don't expect anything groundbreaking or amazing.  A wise person once uttered, "The road to happiness is paved with low expectations."  Depressing quote, but the idea is that if you expect a lot, you'll be disappointed.  If you expect a little, you might be pleasantly surprised.  Or not.  Stupid wise person.  [Actually, it was Grishma Rana.  I'm not saying she's stupid.  I'm just adding her name in here as another searchable term.  Like all people I reference, I wonder if she reads my site?  Better yet, I wonder how long it'll take before she reads my site?] #psychology