Alabama notes Dec 2, 2024
It's been almost two years since we've lived in Alabama, and I have some observations. 

First off, we live on the edge of a small city.  So when people think of Alabama, this isn't it.  Granted, driving a few miles outside our city will present you with the most stereotypical views you can imagine -- cotton fields, trailer parks, broken down cars propped up on cinder blocks, and front yard garbage piles.  But our city is a fairly standard small American city -- centered around a major industry, has a Trader Joe's, has a minor league baseball team with a silly name.  It's Alabama, but not that Alabama. 

Now for the good.  The people are friendly, which I think is related to the fact that the pace of life is a little bit slower, which I believe is caused by the general abundance of most things.  It just feels like there's enough space, enough housing, enough roads, enough jobs, and enough stores for all the people there.  There's no need to rush to get anywhere, because there's plenty of time to get there.  There's plenty of parking.  If you make a wrong turn, you can easily make a U-turn.  Nothing is a problem, which makes people move slower, which makes people friendly.  This was an unexpected improvement in my life. 

Compared to where we moved from, the property taxes are lower, there are more restaurants (that don't go out of business -- what's wrong with you, New Jersey?), there are more social spaces to meet up with family and friends, and there are more activities for kids (and adults -- if you like trampoline parks). 

Now for the bad.  We've lived in the New York City Italian/Irish Metropolitan Megalopolis our entire lives.  No one outside that area of the world can make good pizza.  Period.  Everyone knows this.  Certain restaurants can make "different" pizza that tastes good, and even Alabama has some of those places.  But the most expensive restaurant on earth could employ the most talented chefs for a million years and still not beat a lukewarm slice of limp, uninspiring pizza from any New York City grease pit called "Gino's" or whatever. 

But hey, that was no surprise.  What was a surprise was that Alabama isn't very good at making simple cheap sandwiches you'd get at any little Italian deli in New Jersey (related to the pizza issue).  Like, there are good sandwich places around, and I admittedly haven't tried them all.  But I miss the familiarity of, again any old "Gino's" or whatever, having a mind-blowing sandwich that sort of changes your outlook on life. 

A similar but different thing that's missing is of course Wawa, but more generally an overabundance of cheap, generic, reliable, clean, convenience store / gas station / sandwich place combination stores.  Those types of places provide a real sense of solace when leaving your house, and I miss not having a reliable place to stop for a breakfast burrito or coffee while I fill my tank. 

And finally, ice cream.  I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but ice cream is attainable in the northeast from any store named Gino's, or the Whatever Creamery, or Some Innuendo About Milk, and it's served by a bunch of teenagers with braces, and it's literally the best ice cream you've ever eaten.  Any flavor, any day of the week, any day of the year (unless they close for the winter).  Alabama tries, and absolutely fails.  I don't know what the problem is.  It has something to do with the flavor profile of the base mixture or something -- too much or not enough butter or something like that.  Ice cream is not and has never been a significant part of my life, but it's absence is devastating (I'm overreacting because I want ice cream right now). 

Yes I realize all my complaints are about food; no I don't know what that says about me.  If I could philosophize a little:  Life is largely about having experiences, seeing places, meeting people, and finding the activities, places, and people that provide you the most joy.  I weirdly have no problem finding new people to like, so that's sort of covered.  And most activities I enjoy can be experienced anywhere, or don't require a specific location to experience them.  But at the end of the day, when I'm done experiencing things and meeting people, I want to go to my comfortable home, be with my comfortable family, and eat comfortable food like New York pizza and ice cream.  It's not to say I won't find new comfort food in the future, but right now that's the comfort I crave. #lifestyle
Activity obsession Aug 26, 2024
Activities, experiences, and hobbies can be grouped into the following categories: 
  • have done, would do again
  • have done, would not do again
  • have never done, would do
  • have never done, would never do
There are certain things you can be "into" but not into.  Like I've played golf and gone snowboarding a bunch, and I would do those things again, but I'm not actively pursuing any opportunities at the moment.  Similarly, there are things I've never tried but would be willing to, like maybe pottery or meat smoking.  I'm open to the idea. 

But then there are other things that if you're "into" you're into.  Hunting and fishing are two things that most people don't dabble in.  Those who do dabble, don't dabble, they're obsessed.  No one who's into fishing is only into it a little.  I find that distinction interesting.  It either says something about the attractiveness of the activity, or maybe the drive of the individual.  Or maybe it's just a weird lizard brain thing. #lifestyle
Spending time Aug 24, 2024
The way I spend my time can be broken up into work, hobbies, chores, and time-wasters. 

Work takes time, is sometimes enjoyable, but primarily provides a benefit.  Work is what I do for money.  Depending on the person and the job, the level of enjoyment and the level of benefit may be higher or lower.  But the way I think of it is this:  Would I be doing this if I didn't get paid?  If not, then that's a job.  If I enjoy it but I don't get paid, that's volunteer work.  If I don't enjoy it and also don't get paid, that's slavery (avoid that if possible). 

Hobbies take time, are enjoyable, and provide a benefit.  I've settled on a handful of hobbies that I rotate through but keep coming back to:  hiking, playing video games, making music, writing code, reading books, and watching TV/movies/sports.  You could argue that things like playing video games and watching TV are too passive to count as "providing a benefit," but I would counter by saying that it only looks like that from the outside.  Certain video games are challenging and frustrating and require planning and precise execution.  Completing a certain section or achieving a certain end goal can be extremely fulfilling and memorable.  The same goes for watching TV, movies, and sports.  Certain art can challenge your preconceptions and make you think differently about people, places, and situations.  Sports offer the potential to witness greatness and feel part of a larger community.  These all count as hobbies in my book.  Certain hobbies, like writing code, sound suspiciously like a job.  The key difference is that hobbies largely don't earn you money.  Otherwise they'd be called a job.  I suppose you could argue that it can still be a hobby even if it earns you money, but that's blurring the lines and I'm not about that. 

Chores take time, are NOT enjoyable, and yet provide a benefit.  These include mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, changing sheets and towels, cleaning floors/carpets, and essentially all home improvement projects.  When I do these things I always think about how much it feels like I'm wasting my time, and yet they definitely provide me with a direct benefit.  My daughter said, "Oh, Daddy can clean the dishes; he loves to clean," and I had to emphatically assure her I in fact DO NOT like cleaning, but I like when things ARE clean. 

Time-wasters take time, are enjoyable, but provide no benefit.  Pretty much all social media falls into this category, as do memes and silly videos and stuff like that.  Time-wasters are important in my opinion, because wasting time is a significant part of being a human in the modern world.  I almost can't imagine what people used to do to waste the few minutes or hours they had between work, hobbies, and chores.  I guess they did mostly the same sorts of things as today but in a slightly different form:  Read trashy magazines and engaged in idle chit-chat with people nearby. #lifestyle
Expensive empty lot Aug 17, 2023
I always find it weird to see an empty lot in an expensive area.  There's a neighborhood near where I live where a bunch of houses have marble statues and curved stairs leading to their ornately decorated front doors.  But a few lots in, there's an empty lot complete with overgrown grass.  Like, what's the deal here?  No one wanted to build a nice expensive house in just that very particular space?  Is it flood-prone (that's solvable).  Haunted? 

I was at the beach in New Jersey last week, and there's an area with multimillion-dollar houses, interspersed with empty lots, directly on the waterfront.  The property taxes have to be $5000-$10000 per month, so I can't even imagine what the owners of the empty lots are doing.  I get the idea of waiting for the right offer, but come on.  And there's literally no way they're waiting to "save up" $5 million so they can build their dream house.  Either you have that kind of money or you don't. #lifestyle
House-selling is emotional Jul 19, 2023
Having sold my house and moved recently, I was surprised how emotional the process was.  It's weird because it's essentially just a financial transaction, and if there's anyone who can have zero feelings about something, it's me.  But to work with a realtor who tells you how much money your house is worth, then to deal with potential buyers who try to low-ball offer you 80% of that price, then to haggle with a prospective buyer about all the things you should fix before they buy it, it's just a lot.  Part of it was that we were selling at sort of the tail end of the market high, so prices were naturally dropping.  But to see your neighbor's house sell for one price a month before yours, and they had literally all the same features and upgrades and everything, and then to see your house's price drop for literally no reason other than "market forces" felt like very dumb bullshit.  I almost wished I could've just paid someone to take care of all that nonsense for me and tell me the final price at the end.  But then I would've wished I'd been more involved because of my dumb emotions.  Yuck. 

I think part of it had to do with the fact that that house was sort of my dream house.  It had all the things I wanted in a house, and after moving into it I planned to live there until I died, at least partly because the moving process had been so absurdly unenjoyable.  Moving out of the house prior to that one felt like getting out of a toxic relationship.  Moving out of this house felt like losing something special.  Like breaking up with someone vs. being broken up with. 

The other thing is that a house is a physical structure you live in.  But by living in it and making improvements and remodeling and painting the walls and hanging pictures, it becomes a home.  Home is where you live, it's where you sleep, it's where you feel safe.  It's where you eat dinner, watch TV, and celebrate holidays.  A home is a house with emotions. 

This move sort of came out of nowhere, so it didn't feel like we were ready to leave.  And this isn't to say I wish it didn't happen or that I'm not happy in my new home.  But I think the magnitude of the process, and the shittiness of the experience, plus the accelerated rate sort of amplified the emotions of it all. #lifestyle
In defense of the southeast Jul 6, 2023
Call it a mid-life crisis or whatever, but I started thinking about other jobs when I turned 40.  Not for any real specific reason, but the thought that went through my head was, "If I could do what I'm currently doing but for a different overall purpose or from a different geographic area, that might be neat." 

So anyway, what this all boiled down to was:  Where do I want to live?  I lived in New Jersey forever and I've seen enough snow for a lifetime, so that rules out anywhere north.  You literally couldn't pay me enough money to live anywhere in the midwest, what with its overarching wet, gray aesthetic and general flatness.  Florida seems cool, except hurricanes.  Plus it'll be underwater in a decade or so.  Texas might be cool, except it doesn't exactly fit my ... vibe (or vice versa).  Utah and Colorado are a little too remote for my comfort.  Arizona is a literal fiery hellscape (which is very nice to visit).  California would be great, but I might not be able to afford a house, plus traffic.  Hawaii would be awesome but I probably wouldn't see any of my friends or family again (mixed feelings). 

What's left is the southeast.  I'm a new resident so this might be a little premature, but the southeast has a lot of good features: 
  • longer summers, milder winters
  • proximity to major cities (Nashville, Atlanta, etc.)
  • access to beaches (4-5 hours away)
  • near some mountains (feels like home for me)
  • low taxes
  • plenty of jobs/industry
  • friendly people
  • college football
I don't want to speak too soon, but I kinda like it here. #lifestyle
Weight Watchers diet experience Aug 2, 2022
I turned 40 recently, and I decided I wanted to lose a few pounds.  My wife had done Weight Watchers a year ago and had a good experience with it, so I decided to give it a try.  The thing about my normal "diet" is that it's not hard to point to the foods that have caused me to gain a little weight over the years:  pizza, bacon cheeseburgers, alcohol, etc.  I work out regularly, but as the adage says, "Losing weight starts in the kitchen." 

So I signed up for Weight Watchers and started tracking my food intake.  Instead of tracking strictly calories or even fat/carbs/protein, Weight Watchers uses a points system which assigns you a certain number of points per day, with each meal or snack deducting from that point total.  Except that certain foods count as zero points, such as vegetables, fruit, lean meat, eggs, and a few other things depending on your particular plan.  Fatty foods, pretty much all carbs, and alcohol count as points, depending on their type and amount.  What this means is that you're incentivized to eat a bunch of zero-point foods while carefully choosing where you spend your points budget.  For example, a whole grain wrap for a chicken burrito costs about as much as a beer, so if I want to eat well, I might have to skip the beer. 

This was not a starvation diet.  At no point was I ever really hungry.  There were times when I was unsatisfied, but I was able to find some foods like apples and carrots that took away my cravings. 

The points system sounds like it won't work because you're not directly tracking calories, but it sort of works like magic.  It's a little annoying to have to trust a system whose internals you don't fully understand, but at the same time it's mentally easier to understand the cost of a 4-point beer in a 20-point program versus a 130-calorie beer in a 2200-calorie diet.  The math is just simpler. 

Long story short, I lost two pounds per week for about two months straight, and I'm down 18 lbs and counting. #lifestyle
No easy home projects Dec 23, 2021
I'm a homeowner, and I occasionally have to attempt to fix things.  I'll look up a tutorial or watch a video about how to do what I'm trying to do, and it's always some guy wearing gloves (always), using his pristine and extensive tool collection to calmly work in a well-lit, comfortable environment where he has exactly the right tool for every single task, and everything works on the first try.  Everything takes 5-10 minutes, there's no blood involved, and no one cries. 

This has never once been my experience. 
  • I own close to a million tools, and I'm always missing the exact right one.  I just had to buy extra-long Torx bits from the hardware store last weekend, because of course I did.
  • I'm always hunched over a project, or wedged beneath it.  There's literally no other way to replace a bathroom faucet unless you remove the floor.
  • My lights are never bright enough, or they never shine far enough, or my big dumb head produces too big of a shadow.
  • My gloves rip the second they come in contact with anything metal, plastic, or wood.
  • My hands and/or body are always covered in blood.  I just received a puncture wound IN THE TOP OF MY HEAD from a fucking nail in the fucking roof of the fucking attic.
  • Every screw is stuck with rust, every removable thing is jammed or broken, and everything eventually requires me to destroy it to proceed.
  • Every piece, part, and product I deal with is non-standard, e.g. extra-long supply lines, extra-wide drain attachments, extra-high voltage wires, etc.
The standard instructional video starts with "Step 1 - remove the old stuff by simply unscrewing it", and that takes me an entire weekend and seven trips to the hardware store before I finally give up and just Dremel it to death. #lifestyle
Types of diets Jan 6, 2021
I'm no expert (I should probably just start every sentence with that), but there are pretty much three main types of diets: 
  1. Calorie shift - cutting or increasing calories from any source
  2. Nutrient shift - decreasing carbs and increasing protein while maintaining calories, etc.
  3. Source shift - replacing meat with vegetables while maintaining calories, etc.
#lifestyle
Painting takes months Feb 21, 2020
I painted my bedroom last winter.  It literally took months to accomplish.  For starters, I don't like painting.  It's very tedious and time-consuming.  The end results are good (usually), but the process is unenjoyable.  And it's because the process isn't just painting.  It's taping the floor and walls so I can paint the trim, then taping the walls and windows so I can paint the window trim, then taping the upper wall to paint the ceiling, then taping the trim and ceiling before finally actually painting the walls.  Oh, and painting a door, both sides, two coats each.  All this coupled with the fact that (a) I already have a full-time job, (b) other activities occasionally take up my weekends, and (c) I really don't feel like doing it. 

Yes, I could hire someone to do it for me, but as I've mentioned in the past, I have a hard time convincing people to take my money in exchange for a simple service, i.e. contractors suck. 

And yes, the timing of this post (10 months after the fact) is ironic. #lifestyle