Me:  "Bobby Brown is skiing these days?"
Wendy:  "That's his prerogative."

Wendy had a good idea while watching the NFL Pro Bowl this past weekend:  Instead of forcing a bunch of injury-prone athletes (it's a rough sport) to play a full-contact exhibition game with a meaningless outcome, have some sort of punt/pass/kick competition where the skills of each player are displayed in a relatively safe, objective, and entertaining way, sort of like the MLB's Home Run Derby or the NBA's Slam Dunk Contest.  It could be expanded to include things like foot races and tackling dummies.  Since the rules of the Pro Bowl specifically prohibit certain defensive skills like blitzing, it limits the way the game is played while also encouraging a high score, which is unrealistic (with some exceptions).  I typically don't watch the Pro Bowl because of how pointless it is, but if it at least showcased the specific talents of the players whom the league decided were the best, maybe I'd be more inclined. 

Cats are peculiar animals.  They have extremely sensitive stomachs, so slight changes in diet can cause big puking problems.  Also, they lick themselves, so they need to puke up hairballs on a regular basis.  And sometimes they just eat too fast or run around with a full stomach or simply think about something objectionable, so they puke.  While it's typically easy to train a cat to use a litter box for their "business," it's a different game when it comes to puke.  Here's what I believe goes through the mind of a cat when their stomach is acting up: 

1. Uh oh, I have a rumbly in my tumbly.  I'm gonna puke.
2. Is there a book or newspaper around?  If so, puke on it, because paper soaks up liquid.  If not, continue.
3. Is there anything made of a soft, absorbent material nearby?  Perhaps carpet, recently-washed laundry, or shoes?  If so, puke on them, because they'll soak up the moisture while leaving the solids intact.  If not, continue.
4. Am I on a couch or a bed?  If not, get on one.  Couches and beds are really great places to puke.  Also, the humans need to know that I puked.  Otherwise, continue.
5. If all else fails, where's the nearest high point?  The top of the stairs?  The bathroom sink?  The kitty tower?  Wherever it is, get there, and puke away from it, thus covering as much ground as possible.
6. Mission accomplished.  Man, I'm hungry.  Why don't I go eat, run around, then lick myself.

Here's some more info from a previous post. 

I went snowboarding in Vermont this past weekend, and it was kind of cold.  The high for Saturday was 13°F; the low was something like -5.  But when we were driving to the mountain in the morning, my car said -7, which was the first time I've seen a negative number on my car's thermometer.  The weather report also mentioned that the wind chill on the mountain made the temperature feel like -20 or -30, at which point it doesn't even seem worthwhile mentioning a number.  It's just really cold.  That's about it.  I was considering calling off the trip because I had never been in temperatures like that, but we went through with it, and it really wasn't that bad.  Like the cold weather people would suggest, we dressed in layers.  I had on three layers of pants and four layers of shirts.  And aside from my feet being cold early on, I was warm the whole day.  One thing that helped was to do dangerous things (like going fast and hitting jumps) to increase my adrenaline levels and heart rate.  One thing I did notice, however, was that if any skin was exposed to the air, it got cold quicker than normal.  I had to take my gloves off a few times, and each time my hands only lasted about 15 seconds before they started getting cold.  Another interesting thing about extreme cold is that frost forms in unusual settings.  We saw a woman running on the road on our way to the mountain, and her pants were covered with frost, making her look like she rolled around in the snow.  Weird stuff.  All in all, cold isn't that bad, as long as you're not too far from a warm place. 

I'll be attending a wedding in July between a girl from Kentucky and a guy from New Jersey.  In an effort not to inconvenience just one side of the family, the wedding will be held in geographically-centric Virginia.  That way, everyone is inconvenienced.  The only thing that would make this better is if the wedding was on a weekday. 

Our bunny Max has two modes of operation:  On and Off.  This is obviously the latter. 

Jesse Thorn, host of the public radio show The Sound of Young America, calls himself "America's Radio Sweetheart," which would be one of the stupidest things in the history of the universe, except for the fact that it's sort of a joke.  He discussed it with comedian Mike Birbiglia, who prefers to be known as "America's Favorite Comedian."  I guess the bottom line is that if you say something out loud, it's true. 

About six months ago, Wendy was walking out the front door of our house on her way to work, and in accordance with the law of nature that states that buttered toast always lands butter-side down, her breakfast of peanut butter on an English muffin landed peanut-butter-side down.  She was in a rush, so she picked up the muffin but didn't clean up the peanut butter, leaving me one hour later trying to decipher a mysterious peanut butter stain on our front step as my first task of the day.  Funny stuff. 

The thing that's noteworthy about this event is that two days ago when it was raining, there was a magical dry spot on our front step.  This dry spot, of course, was caused by the peanut butter that had been dropped there six months ago.  Yes, I cleaned up the peanut butter on my way out of the house that morning, but I suppose I wasn't able to get all the microscopic parts that seeped into the cement. 

Which brings me to my point:  Why aren't houses insulated with peanut butter?  Why do my sinks, toilets, and windows leak?  Why is there no such thing as legitimately waterproof clothing?  Peanut butter can solve all our problems. 

Stephen Colbert and his fans are sponsoring the US Speedskating team at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics because one of the original sponsors couldn't make the payments.  "On their enormous, billboard thighs, it will say, 'Colbert Nation,"' stated the esteemed journalist.  By mid-December of 2009, they had raised $250,000, which was just a little shy of the original sponsor's $300,000.  Not bad for a satirist. 

Also, here is a collection of pictures of Mr. Colbert in a traditional speedskating uniform, with the additional glasses, tie, and watch for personality. 

I can't put into words how irrationally angry I get when the "Click for larger image" button on a product website opens up a bigger window with an image the exact same size as the original.  As a casual programmer, I can attest to the fact that this problem is stupidly easy to fix: 

if (largerimage.size > currentimage.size) {
   display_link();
} else {
   dont_be_an_idiot();
}

Internet, fix it!