This image of Tony Romo from the 2006-7 playoffs still makes me laugh: 

On the one hand, I feel a little bad for the guy, since this image has been burned into the collective conscience of the American football fan.  On the other hand, it's always good to see the Cowboys lose.

One topic of conversation that came up at a recent funeral (besides cremation and resomation) was the idea of reusable coffins.  Because honestly, the last thing a dead person needs is a $10,000 wooden box.

A few months ago we got some of those ClosetMaid Cubeicals to store stuff in our kitchen.  One of the items we like to store in our kitchen is wine.  But typical wine racks take up space, and space is something our kitchen conveniently lacks.  So we took to storing our wine upright, in direct sunlight, on top of the Cubeical, which violates several rules of wine-drinking.  So naturally I figured, "Surely someone on the internet has made a wine rack that fits in this widely available cubical storage system."  Naturally, I was wrong.  Consequently, I became that person. 

I think it's stupid that the current schedule of college football bowl games consists of a bunch of insignificant, poorly-named, ill-timed matchups that take place randomly over the course of 7-10 days, often over a month after the end of the regular season.  When I'm elected Supreme Commander of All Things, here's how I would change that: 

• First of all, no more PAC-10 changing its name to PAC-12, or a BIG-10 with 12 teams.  Stick to letters.  BIG-10 and BIG-12 get to fight out the details.
• Season ends with conference championships.
• Conference champions compete in bowl games.
• The National Championship Game cannot contain two teams from the same conference.
• Bowl games take place no more than two weeks after the end of the regular season.  All in one day.  The end.

Everybody who has ever had an opinion about college football agrees that the current system is stupid.  Yet the system remains.

Dear people who send Christmas cards covered in glitter,

Thanks for making me clean up after you.  Please remove me from your mailing list. 

Sincerely,
Everyone who's ever had to clean glitter off every object in the house that happened to come in contact with your ridiculous gaudy card, then wash their hands because glitter sticks to everything, but then still had glitter on their face all day because that stuff gets everywhere and it makes you look stupid, like some jerk who puts glitter on their face in the hopes of attracting attention, like a bizarre mating ritual where mating will surely not happen. 

1. South Jersey/Philadelphia/Baltimore
2. Canada
3. Chicago/Minnesota
4. Richmond, VA

If I had to choose between driving at a constant speed of 40 mph or driving at a stop-and-go speed that averages 40 mph, I'd choose the former.  I often travel longer distances just so I don't have to drive on Route 206 in NJ.

I'm uninterested in joining this special disinterest group: 

Politicians are completely out of touch with those Americans who are completely out of touch with politics.

Who says that two people can't make an indifference?

Plata o plomo is Spanish for the phrase "silver or lead," which was Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar's motto in dealing with his local government.  In other words, accept money or face bullets.  Me likes.

I just bought these Quaker Breakfast Cookies because they have "breakfast" in the product name, which dictates when I'm allowed to eat them.  They're actually pretty good, but my suspicions were accurate:  They're really just straight-up cookies in a package that suggests they can be eaten for breakfast.  Maybe they might have a little more fiber than normal cookies, but other than that, it doesn't change the fact that you're eating cookies for breakfast.