Evil Oct 18, 2005
I'd like to take a minute to discuss the nature of evil.  This post is based largely on this link.  A lot of people think of evil as something that has horns and carries a pitchfork.  I think this is wrong.  Maybe it'll take that form someday, but I think it takes a different form in everyday life:  something beautiful or normal, but with a little twist.  In the Passion of the Christ, evil is represented by several things.  There's that woman-looking person with no eyebrows.  She represents evil because she's simple, somewhat beautiful, and symmetric.  But up close, you realize she has no eyebrows and doesn't blink.  It's taking a good thing and twisting it.  Then there's that hairy baby-like thing.  From far away, it's a beautiful picture:  a woman holding a baby.  But up close, you notice that the baby is gross and hairy and isn't really a baby.  Something beautiful, twisted. 

I can think of a bunch of examples in real life, but I'll offend people if I post them.  So I'll try to word them in an inoffensive way.  Marriage is a beautiful thing.  But joining two like things (physically) or two unlike things (spiritually) is taking something good and twisting it.  Sex is a good thing.  But taking it out of it's proper environment is taking a good thing and twisting it.  Anger can be a good thing.  But if it's acted out the wrong way, it's not good.  These things seem small.  Some say, "At least it's not murder."  True, but small things multiply, and they desensitize us.  We'll allow small things today, but big things tomorrow. #religion
Domestication Oct 18, 2005
Lessons learned from being married, or maybe just from being domesticated:  Folding fitted bed sheets is absolutely impossible, and anyone who can successfully do so is a super-mega genius.  As I tried to do this last night, I quickly gave up, seeing that I'm not really into folding things in the first place.  Plus, this is the thing that goes directly on your mattress, later to be covered by any of several other sheets and blankets.  In other words, no one ever sees this thing; henceforth it's useless to spend time trying to fold it. 

Google to the rescue!  I found a solution to all my problems at Google Answers, Target, HGTV, and Better Homes and Gardens.  Isn't the internet a wonderful thing?  This one quote from Target fulfilled my dreams and made me nauseous at the same time:  "Making the bed is so much more pleasurable when your sheets have been folded properly -- and not only do they take up a lot less space, they look great in your linen cupboard too! Follow our easy step-by-step guide on how to fold a fitted sheet, so it looks just like it came out of the packet."  Isn't it everyone's dream to have your fitted sheets look like they came right out of the packet?  Heck yeah. #psychology
Value Oct 17, 2005
It's weird how value is assigned to certain objects and it's based solely on how much someone is willing to pay.  Value isn't based on worth or usefulness.  It's based on a somebody.  For example, my parents had a garage sale this weekend.  They were getting rid of some junk that has been in their barn for generations.  It's useless stuff.  One thing was an old wooden wheel barrow with metal wheels.  You can buy a brand new metal wheel barrow with rubber wheels from Home Depot for a good price.  But a wooden wheel barrow with metal wheels?  Absolutely unusable.  But somebody bought it, obviously not because they're gonna use it to haul around dirt and rocks, but because it's an "antique" and "is worth a lot of money".  Why is it worth a lot of money?  Because someone is willing to pay a lot of money for it.  If nobody wanted to pay money for it, it would be worth nothing since it serves no purpose (and I don't consider "decoration" a purpose). #money
Overeating Oct 14, 2005
I have a problem.  I'm like Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs.  "News is in that the notorious gangster Pizza the Hut has died.  Reportedly, he locked himself in his limo and ate himself to death."  Ok, so that's not exactly how it works with me.  But I seriously think I could eat until I died.  Like I would probably explode before I stopped eating.  This can be seen by how much my stomach sticks out after I eat.  Is this a normal thing?  No!  You can actually measure the exact amount of food that's in my stomach.  But what's even more fascinating is the "why" of this.  Two reasons:  (1) Food tastes good and (2) It's just easier that way. 

I really like the taste of food.  I love the taste of a juicy steak with Bold and Spicy A1.  I love Nilla Wafers dipped in Cool Whip.  I could probably eat 2 million Circus Peanuts in one sitting.  And ever since Wendy started working at Mars, I've had an insatiable appetite for M&M's.  I used to only be able to put 2 in my mouth at one time (OCD anyone?), but now I could probably melt a whole pack into a smoothie and drink it in one gulp. 

I was raised on leftovers.  I could eat leftovers every day of my life.  I'm good like that.  But this forces me to save all uneaten food.  So let's say I cook a cup of peas for dinner.  And let's say I ate the chicken and stuffing that accompanied it.  Let's also say that I ate about 3/4 of the cup of peas, but I'm full.  Any more food would probably cause internal damage.  But in the interest of not having to put the rest of the peas in a plastic container and save them for future leftovers, I'll begrudgingly force them down my throat. 

So that's how it is with me.  You might read/hear something like this in the news sometime soon:  "New Jersey 'man' explodes from overeating.  Eagles win Superbowl.  Details on page A4." #food
Email Oct 13, 2005
Why do people use ISP email addresses?  ISPs like Optimum Online, Comcast, Verizon, Netzero, Juno, and PeoplePC give you an email address when you sign up for their service.  Why do people use that?  You can pretty much guarantee that you won't stay with that ISP your entire life, so you'll eventually have to send out an email to all the people you know that says, "Hi, I got a new email address because I moved.  La la la."  Instead people should use free, web-based email like Gmail, Yahoo, or Hotmail.  (Actually, just Gmail.  Yahoo has big banner ads and Hotmail has always been low quality.)  This way, you won't have to change your email address when you move or change ISPs. 

I work for essentially the largest, most powerful company on earth.  Yet my email storage space amounts to a whopping 50 MB.  That's about as useful as Hotmail's 25 MB (with the possibility of 250 MB, or the possibility of death and dismemberment, whichever comes first).  You'd think that, y'know, since we're the most powerful and influential nation on earth, that maybe George W. could beat up some geeks and get a few more MBs for my nonsense emails.  Or you'd think that some of the idiots I work with would stop sending big huge emails that are full of pictures and junk. #technology
Catastrophic failure Oct 13, 2005
I find it impossible to ignore the possibility of catastrophic failure.  I'm not sure if this is from being an engineer, or if it's because I'm not a kid anymore.  When you're a kid, you're invincible; nothing bad could possibly happen to you.  But now that I'm a "grownup", I'm always afraid something terrible is gonna happen to me.  Whenever I go to Great Adventure, I have a hard time enjoying the rides because I think about what could go wrong.  Not stuff like, "Oh the ride might not work."  Stuff like, "This metal death train traveling at 120 m.p.h. could so easily lift off the track and go careening into the cold, hard earth that it would make my body literally pop."  As I was on top of the world's tallest, fastest roller coaster, it was really cool, but I was thinking about how much it would hurt if we fell from 456 feet in the air.  Or imagine if a bird happened to fly in front of us as we were going 120 m.p.h.  It wouldn't just bounce off us, like in the cartoons.  It would most likely decapitate someone.  These are the things I think about. 

Recently, I decided to try to almost sorta get in some sort of semi-shape, so I ate some Ho-Ho's and went for a bike ride.  But as I was gaining speed going down the hill near our house, I couldn't help but think about what would happen if I hit a pothole and flipped the bike or if I slipped off the seat and became a woman.  Of course I can't just enjoy the ride or concentrate on being healthy.  I think about the worst possible things happening; catastrophic failure.  Why do I think about these things? #psychology
Drunk Oct 12, 2005
Let me preface this by saying that I didn't drink through most of college.  But when I turned 21, I started drinking and I had a lot of fun with it.  I did tons of a few stupid things, but I kept things under control.  All in all, me and alcohol had a good run.  But on November 6, 2004, for reasons still unknown, I quit the vile substance and haven't touched it since.  These facts qualify me to have the following opinions. 

I think, in fact I know, that people use drinking as an excuse to act like idiots.  I see it all the time, what with the 47 weddings I've been to this summer.  At every wedding, there are people who drink and there are people who drink.  The people who drink act like people who drink.  But the people who drink also sometimes act like the people who drink.  This is because it's socially acceptable to use drinking as an excuse for one's actions, within reason.  People will do things that are completely out of character and validate their actions by concluding, "Oh man, I'm drunk!"  They'll talk to girls, dance like a maniac, and do forward rolls, all because they've had a few drinks.  But is it really because they've had a few drinks, or is it because they really want to be idiots and they can easily use drinking as an excuse to engage in such activity?

The other thing about drinking that smart Mike once said is that it's totally fake.  You can hang out with people you absolutely hate, but it's all good because you're drinking.  This happened in every social situation for me.  I don't like talking to people.  But whenever I drank, I found people to be unbelievably interesting.  This is because I wasn't completely myself.  If I was in a "dry" environment talking to these people, I'd want to fork my eyes out.  But add alcohol to the mix and I'm best friends with people I've never met before.  Alcohol creates an environment where people can be slightly detached from reality.  While in that reality, almost anything goes.  But coming back to real reality can be an eye-opener.  Anyone who's ever engaged in random hookups knows this feeling first-hand. 

In conclusion, don't drink and drive, and always tip your waitress. #psychology
America hates Christianity Oct 12, 2005
Ravi Zacharias wrote in his book Jesus Among Other Gods, "Philosophically, you can believe anything, so long as you do not claim it to be true.  Morally, you can practice anything, so long as you do not claim that it is a 'better' way.  Religiously, you can hold to anything, so long as you do not bring Jesus Christ into it.  If a spiritual idea is eastern, it is granted critical immunity; if western, it is thoroughly criticized."  This is so painfully true.  If I go around and Christian-bash and take people to court over separation of church and state, I'm considered progressive.  If I make fun of some Muslims and take some Hindus to court, I'm a hateful extremist.  Why the difference?  Because America hates Christianity.  Our country will do whatever it possibly can to erase God from the picture.  And why is this?  Because Christianity is true.  It Christianity was as ridiculous as one of the eastern religions, there'd be no need to refute it.  But as it is, it presents a threat to all those who don't believe it.  So by dismissing its claims, people can justify their actions and continue to live how they want. #religion
Sportscasters Oct 11, 2005
I like watching NFL.  I like the energy and the testosterone, and I really like the lazy Sunday afternoons.  But I hate announcers and their stupid statistics.  "The Eagles haven't won a game by more than 2 points when they've been down by 14 points after the first 2 minutes of the second quarter."  Wow, that's great.  So much information in such a useful sentence.  Thanks, people like Joe Buck.  Now I can stop watching that game because I know exactly what's gonna happen.  Thanks.  Idiot. 

There's this other thing that happens that really gets to me:  Right at the end of the second quarter, when everybody's going to the locker room and some sportscaster interviews one of the players or coaches, they all ask the same stupid questions:  "How do you feel about your performance in the first half?"  "We had a tough first half.  We made a few mistakes but had a few nice plays.  The key to the second half will be to come out and play some good football, make fewer mistakes and score some more points."  Wow.  Once again, so much information in such a powerful sentence.  But I can't really blame the players or the coaches.  They give the right answer.  It's those dumb sportscasters who ask the same stupid questions all the time.  What do you think their game plan is gonna be?  "We'll stop running and passing the ball and just depend on special teams and defense."  Why don't sportscasters instead ask, "What's your favorite color?  How many kittens do you think you could eat at one time?  What's your least favorite word?"  I think these questions would be more useful than the stupid nonsense that currently comes dribbling out of their mouths. #sports
Taste in music Oct 8, 2005
Whenever people ask me what music I like, it's always difficult to give a simple answer.  If I says I like rock, people say, "Oh, like Dashboard Confessional and Franz Ferdinand."  No.  If I say I like Phish, they say, "Oh, like Dave Matthews and stuff like that."  No.  Hard rock.  "Metallica."  No.  Forget it. 

So to quantify my taste in music, I'll identify bands I hate and bands I like. 

Bands I Hate (with explanatory phrases)
Bob Dylan - Should've been a poet instead of a singer, whiny, sloppy
Bruce Springsteen - Big ugly songs, annoying
George Thorogood - Blatant alcoholic, depressing, all songs sound the same
Grateful Dead - Weak, sloppy
Rod Stewart - Unworthy sex symbol, annoying, bad hair, old
Rolling Stones - Sloppy, unworthy sex symbols, some good songs
Stevie Nicks and/or Fleetwood Mac - Girly, annoying
Tom Petty - See Bob Dylan, some good songs

Bands I Like (with descriptive words)
AC/DC - Simple powerful rock
Black Crowes - Soul groove
Blues Traveler - Songwriting together harmony
Jet - Simple powerful rock
moe. - Jam improv energy
Phish - Jam improv climax jazz complicated talented intricate
RAQ - Complicated talented organized together
ulu - Jazz funk improv
Umphrey's McGee - Smart complicated talented jam hard rock
Weezer - Simple powerful together #music