Most roads that pass by schools have a reduced speed limit announced by a sign that says something like "Speed Limit 25 mph When Children Are Present."  This is something that always confuses me.  How specifically is this enforced?  Like is it only during the school year?  And if so, is it in effect on weekends?  What if it's a school day but it's like 6 a.m. when no kids are there yet?  Or what if it's during the school year, on a school day, during normal school hours, but I don't see a single stupid kid?  And at what point are "kids" no longer kids?  Like if I drive by my local high school at 6 p.m. and there are still cars in the student parking lot, should I really be watching out for them?  Finally, what if I don't have kids, so I have no clue when the school year starts or when the school day starts or when these ridiculously lazy kids have vacation days or not?  My point is that there seems to be a lot of wiggle room with this law, but I could envision a cop handing me a $200 ticket just because he can.  In conclusion, I think we should close all schools and fire all cops.  The end. #travel

I saw a non-corpse-carrying hearse on the road the other day.  It had bright decals on the side.  I thought to myself, "That's a nice hearse."  I'm probably the only person who's ever combined those two words in a single thought. #travel

Apparently one of the semi-standard add-ons for VW Beetles is flower rims: 



I try not to say this too often because it gives the wrong impression, but they're "cute." #travel

Wendy and I rented a house in Seaside Park, NJ for the week last week, and it was every bit as great as we hoped.  It was 90° and sunny for the first few days, allowing us to lay on the beach all day and relax.  Then it was a little rainy and cool for a day, allowing us to see some family and stock up on supplies for the party we threw on Saturday.  Hurricane Earl tried to disrupt our fun, but he only succeeded on Thursday afternoon, when the lifeguards told us we couldn't swim because of "dangerous waves" and "riptides."  Buncha nancies. 

First things first, Seaside Park is a quiet little beach community just south of Seaside Heights, which is where that abomination the Jersey Shore is filmed.  While Heights is a party locale with copious Italians and Axe Body Spray, Park is a family place with quiet streets and clean beaches.  It's the real, authentic Jersey Shore, and it's dreamily peaceful during the week when the tourists aren't there, which is slightly weird for a tourist to say. 

For a variety of reasons (temperature, tides, alien mind-control), there was a slight jellyfish problem.  And by problem, I mean we had to wade through a slurry of whole moon jellyfish and pieces every time we got into or out of the water.  It's certainly a unique feeling to say the least.  Wendy got stung once, but apparently it's pretty rare, since kids were picking them up and throwing them at each other. 

The house we rented was actually the bottom half of a larger home, which was fine, but a little weird when we could hear the owners upstairs stomping around like they'd never lived above anyone before.  But the fact that it had two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a nice outdoor patio and grill made it pretty awesome. 

We brought our bikes, and since it was ridiculously flat, we rode around everywhere.  And by everywhere, I mean across the street to the beach, back to the house for lunch, back to the beach, and to the ice cream place down the street.  Yes, indeed, this is the life. 

On our last day there, I participated in a church-sponsored 5K, except that it took place about 80 miles away, so I set up a "satellite location" where I measured out 3.1 miles with a GPS device, then ran it alone and timed myself.  It was the ultimate conflict of interest.  My time was 24:40, which isn't bad for a white kid, although the only proof that I actually ran was a picture before I left, a picture when I got back, and a smelly t-shirt. 


#travel

One time I was driving Wendy's Pontiac Vibe and some guy pulled up next to me at a traffic light and asked, "You Vibin?"  I had no clue what he was talking about, and frankly I was startled by the rare experience of interacting with another human, but after he explained himself, I said something sheepish like, "Mm-yeah I guess so."  If somebody asked me that question today, I have my answer all set:  You're damn right I'm Vibin'. #travel

I keep accidentally getting rental cars without cruise control.  This is mildly problematic because I can't think of a time when I rented a car and didn't drive it for less than three hours straight on a highway.  I realize cruise control is a luxury and I should be able to hold down the accelerator for an extended period of time without my foot falling asleep.  My most recent rental car also lacked a pretty standard amenity:  Power door locks.  The car I drove in high school had manual locks and manual windows, so I understand how these archaic things work.  But when renting a new car from a reputable place, I expect more than a tape deck and a hand-crank engine.  When I stopped at a gas station and went inside to get a drink, I fumbled around for a few minutes trying to find the automatic lock button.  It wasn't on the door, or the center console, or the keychain.  Then I realized I had to lock all the doors by hand.  Hey rental car, 1990 called; they want their lack of technology back. #travel

I had a Kia Soul as a rental car a few weeks ago, and it had many positive qualities.  It had satellite radio and audio controls on the steering wheel.  It was surprisingly roomy for how small it looked.  And of course, the commercial with the hamsters dancing to that 90s hip hop song is excellent.  But there's just one problem with this car:  The seats are ridiculously uncomfortable.  They feel like wooden church pews.  There's absolutely no comfortable position.  So to the Kia people, I would say good job with the features, but fix the basics. #travel

This past weekend+ was spent visiting my sister in southwest Texas and sightseeing in New Mexico.  El Paso is close enough to Carlsbad Caverns National Park to pay a visit.  The cave part was pretty cool, but the other attraction -- the 400,000 bats that emerge each night -- didn't happen because of the rain.  The next day we drove up to Albuquerque and stopped at White Sands National Monument and Three Rivers Petroglyph Site on the way.  After spending a day in Santa Fe and Albuquerque, we flew home.  Short, but good, trip. 

Pictures: more »

I stayed in a Hampton Inn the other night that seemed to be hell bent on preventing me from using the electricity I was paying for.  I had to charge my phone, so I looked for an outlet near the desk.  No deal.  I looked for an outlet near the TV.  No deal.  I looked for an outlet near the bedside table.  No deal.  There was a clock radio on the bedside table, and this device was powered by electricity that came from the wall.  I followed the plug to the wall, moving the mattress in the process, only to discover that the plug was wedged between the wall and the metal bed frame.  It was 7 am, so I wasn't sufficiently warmed up to be doing any heavy lifting.  I finally settled on the outlet in the bathroom, despite the fact that water and electronics don't typically play nice.  This hotel stay was such a contrast to the Marriott Courtyard I stayed in last weekend, which had outlets everywhere I looked, and even light switches that didn't require me to bend over and fumble around underneath a lampshade.  Two conclusions:  (1) I'm picky; (2) some hotels are built to provide maximum aggravation and minimum creature comforts. #travel

I live in Hopatcong, which is next to a town called Netcong (a friend calls them "The Congs," except she has a Jersey accent so it's more like "The Cawngs").  About an hour away is a town called Pohatcong, which is near a town called Lopatcong.  They're all named after Native American words for things, so apparently "cong" was something important, like "chicken" or "beer." #travel