Mauch Chunk
Mauch Chunk is the former name of a town in Pennsylvania derived from the Native American term for "bear mountain."  The town bought the remains of famous Native American Jim Thorpe and renamed their town after him to attract attention and tourism, even though Jim Thorpe the person never set foot in the town.  The reason I bring this up is because I drove through the town recently and noticed that "Mauch Chunk" is probably the most unappealing name for anything I've ever heard in my entire life.  It sounds like a bodily secretion or a chemical additive.  No wonder they changed their name. #travel

Utility car
I went to the car wash the other day, and after all the bug innards and avian fecal matter had been washed off, I noticed on one of the doors a pretty big mark that looked like a plastic shopping cart impact point.  Oh well.  My car is almost six years old, and I don't care too much anymore about bumps and scratches.  There was about a three month period when I first got my car when I would've been upset by the tiniest scratch.  But I quickly got used to a simple fact:  My car is a utility car.  It serves the function of transporting me.  I don't use it to pick up chicks, or to impress my friends, or to win car beauty contests.  As long as it still works, I'll live with the dings and scrapes.  And I've discovered that a simple trip to the car wash and some tire cleaning spray can go a long way. #travel

Cost per mile
It's often said that the worst investment you'll ever make is purchasing a car, not only because it's a big ticket item, but also because it leaves you with nearly no resale value in the end.  So basically, you're dumping a ton of money into something that gives you nothing in return, which could be accomplished just as easily by gambling or starting a heavy drug habit. 

But I think this is a flawed way of thinking.  Sure you're putting money into an investment that generates no return, but you're neglecting the fact that a vehicle provides a service:  Transportation.  And the act of transporting oneself from home to work, or work to store, or store to Hawaii, isn't free.  It's hard to put a value on that service, but it's pretty logical to think of it in terms of gas mileage, e.g. my car gets 30 miles per gallon, and since work is 10 miles from home, it costs 10/30 = 0.33 gallons, which at today's rate (~$2.50/gallon) costs about $0.83. 

But thinking in terms of gas mileage ignores the other costs associated with owning a car, such as the actual cost of the car, gas, scheduled maintenance (oil changes, new brakes, new tires), unscheduled maintenance (new windshields, body work), insurance, speeding tickets, etc.  With that in mind, a pretty useful way to pseudo-visualize the true cost of owning a vehicle is to think of things in terms of cost per mile.  To aid in this, I created the following calculator (go ahead, change some numbers): 






Car Price
Monthly Expenses + +
Yearly Expenses + +
Years Owned
Total Mileage
Cost Per Mile
The default values correspond to a car that costs $20,000, a monthly gas expense of $100, a monthly insurance expense of $100, a yearly maintenance expense of $300, a yearly "etc." expense of $100, owning the car for 6 years, and driving a total of 120,000 miles.  This equates to a cost per mile of $0.31, which is significantly more than simply looking at gas mileage ($0.83/10 miles = $0.08 per mile).  And it doesn't factor in the hard-to-quantify things like carbon emissions, junkyard costs, and other environmental factors.  But hey, it's a start. 

So my 10-mile commute to work this morning cost about $3.10, which is kind of a lot. #travel

Airline non-fixes
Most airlines these days charge for checking a bag.  It would make sense to think of this as a way to increase revenue, but I have the sneaking suspicion the fees were put in place for a different reason:  So fewer people would check fewer bags, leading to fewer lost luggage claims and fewer customer complaints, with the net effect of higher customer satisfaction.  Sure the airlines make more money, but they could've done the same thing by simply charging more money per ticket.  With this thought pattern in mind, I wonder what's next? 







Problem/ComplaintSolution
Lost bagsCharge for checked bags
No overhead storageCharge for carry-on bags
Crappy foodCharge for food
Crowded bathroomsCharge for bodily functions
No elbowroomCharge for elbow rests
No legroomCharge for seats (otherwise standing room only)
Crying babiesCharge for ear plugs
One thing is for certain:  If it's possible to make airline travel even less enjoyable, the airlines will surely find a way. #travel

Big Island trip review
You know the drill.  First, recap; now, review: 

Highlights.  Hawaii is a tropical volcanic island paradise in the absolute middle of nowhere, so it's hard not to like everything.  But I would say the highlights of the trip were (1) hiking through arid grasslands down to a "beach" in Volcanoes and encountering a sea turtle in a tide pool, (2) snorkeling up close with sea turtles and all kinds of colorful fish (and even seeing and hearing a couple of spinner dolphins), (3) stargazing atop Mauna Kea and seeing an unimaginable amount of stars and even the rings on Saturn (through a telescope). 

Weather.  The temperatures were in the low 80s everyday, and sun was out for only about half the days we were there, which made for not-so-great picture-taking at times, but which worked out well for my easily-sunburned skin.  The elevation of Volcanoes National Park was somewhere around 4000 feet, so the temperatures were in the 70s during the day, and probably the 50s at night.  The elevation of the Mauna Kea Visitor Information Station was a little over 9000 feet, so the temperatures were in the 60s when the sun was up, but quickly dropped into the 40s.  After snorkeling earlier in the day, it was a small shock to gain 9000 feet in elevation and lose 30-40 degrees in temperature.  But we brought some slightly warm clothes. 

Camping.  To make the trip cheap, we camped most nights for under $10.  This means we had to bring a tent and sleeping bags, which means we had to pay to check a bag at the airport, but it was worth it.  But the penalty for cheapness is dirtiness, which builds up faster when you do things like hike up and down volcanoes and eat onion-filled sandwiches.  Wendy reached her limit at about the third night of camping, but we still had one more night before we stayed in a hotel.  In the future, I'll try to do a better job of planning by interspersing more hotel stays with campground stays.  Perhaps I should add one more highlight to the list above:  (4) taking a shower at a resort after camping and sweating for four straight days.  It was a truly magical experience. 

Regions.  Since the Big Island is such a "big" place, it was interesting to see all the different microclimates.  Of course there were the humid areas on the coast, but there were also extremely windy regions with rough waves crashing on rocks, dry regions with sparse vegetation and fire danger, regions with flowing or newly-dried lava, mountainous regions with occasional snow, green pastureland full of cattle and sheep, and regions with lush vegetation like a rain forest. 

Hawaiians.  The people of Hawaii are cool people.  They're nice, they let you do what you want, and they like to tell you about their cultural history and their beautiful island.  But a few patterns I noticed were that (1) many Hawaiians lacked a full set (or even a half set) of teeth, (2) coughing was a widespread problem, and (3) everyone had tattoos.  The teeth thing didn't bother me, but being woken up at a campsite by a Hawaiian coughing up a lung and then spitting it on the ground was unpleasant.  Smoking pot was also a common activity among pretty much everyone (and pretty much anywhere), and I have to wonder if the coughing had something to do with that, or if perhaps the sulfur in the volcanic fumes could've been a factor.  Tattooing was so common, I started to get used to seeing old people with entire limbs covered in tribal markings.  It was kinda cool. 

Transportation.  The island was really easy to drive around.  I saw a public bus once or twice, but I doubt that's a good way to get around.  The main loop road was fabulously uncrowded and had a comfortably high speed limit.  There was a significant dearth of traffic cops, which made driving even less stressful.  My one and only complaint about driving was that Hawaiians had a habit of sort of cutting you off and then going slow.  But honestly, what's the rush? 

Food.  It was a really nice treat to eat lots of fresh tropical fruits and trendy little wraps and sandwiches that were actually healthy.  Smoothies were quite common, as was "shave ice" a.k.a. juice-flavored ice shavings.  There was a winery in the town of Volcano, and there was a brewery in Kailua Kona.  Coffee is becoming a major crop for the island, and there were many places to get a cup whose beans were grown in the backyard.  There was also a surprising amount of cattle farming, and I would imagine at least some of that meat ended up on my plate because of the high cost of importing. 

All in all, it was a really cool trip.  We stayed busy most of the time, so by the end, I was pretty tired and ready to go home.  And thankfully, we came back to New Jersey when it was 70 and sunny so it wasn't too much of a shock to our systems.  The cats were happy to see us; the rabbits didn't notice we were gone. #travel

Big Island trip recap
Wendy and I just spent nine days on the Big Island of Hawaii.  It's called the Big Island because it's the biggest Hawaiian island.  I'm not making this up.  Anyway, we rented a car and drove all over the place, camping most nights and spending the days hiking, snorkeling, and sightseeing.  We had actually been to Hawaii once before, but it was on a cruise, so we didn't have as much time to explore any of the islands.  This trip changed that. 

Quick Facts:
Miles driven:  1073
Nights spent in a hotel:  3 out of 9
Travel time to Hawaii:  18 hours
Shark attacks:  0
Minimum elevation:  -4 feet (snorkel dive!)
Maximum elevation:  9200 feet
Tattoo sightings:  1.7 quadrillion
Sunburns:  2
Sea turtle sightings:  A lot

Daily Recap:
Day 1 - Flew into Hilo via Honolulu via Denver via Newark; stayed at a hotel.

Day 2 - Drove to Volcanoes National Park to get a campsite; walked around Lava Tree State Park; visited the Cape Kumukahi lighthouse; swam in the Kapoho Tide Pools; ate at Lava Rock Cafe; camped at Volcanoes.

Day 3 - Drove around the Chain of Craters Road in Volcanoes; hiked to the Pu'u Loa Petroglyphs and the sea arch; camped at Volcanoes.

Day 4 - Hiked down to a little beach at Ka'a in Volcanoes; ate lunch at the Volcano Golf Club; tasted wine at the Volcano Winery; checked out the black sand at Punalu'u Beach; camped at Whittington Beach Park.

Day 5 - Stopped at the Punalu'u Bake Shop; went back to Punalu'u Beach and saw sea turtles; checked out the green sand at Papakolea Beach; drove to the southernmost point at Ka Lae; camped at Ho'okena Beach Park.

Day 6 - Kayaked and snorkeled in Kealakekua Bay; got lunch at The Coffee Shack; visited the Place of Refuge and snorkeled nearby (and saw spinner dolphins); stayed at a Marriott resort (!).

Day 7 - Checked out Waikoloa Petroglyphs; ate lunch at Kona Brew Pub; snorkeled at Kunalu'u Beach; camped at Spencer Beach Park.

Day 8 - Visited Pu'ukohola Heiau; snorkeled at Mahukona Beach; hiked down to Pololu Valley and Honokane Nui Valley; got lunch at the Snack Shack in Kapaau; stargazed at the Mauna Kea Visitor Information Station; stayed in a cheap motel in Kamuela.

Day 9 - Drove along Scenic Highway 19; stopped at Laupahoehoe Park; drove into Hilo for some lunch at Bueno Burrito; headed back north to Akaka Falls; ate at What's Shakin'; camped at Kolekole Beach Park.

Day 10 - Drove up to Pe'epe'e Falls, Rainbow Falls, and Kaumana Caves; got lunch at the Hilo Coffee Mill; walked around Hilo; saw the Queen Liliuokalani Gardens and nearby Coconut Island; headed to the airport to fly to Newark via Denver via Honolulu.

Pictures: more »

Bumper sticker patterns (2)
Observed patterns in bumper sticker usage: 
  1. I've traveled to [this] place.
  2. I follow [this] religion.
  3. I'm opposed to [this] religion.
  4. I enjoy [this] activity.
  5. My child enjoys [this] activity.
  6. I voted for [this] candidate.
  7. I'm opposed to [this] candidate.
  8. I like [this] brand of stuff.
  9. I have [this] kind of dog.
  10. I like when Calvin urinates on [this].
  11. I agree with [this] phrase or quote.
  12. I support [this] cause.
  13. I'm opposed to [this] cause.
#travel

No U-turn
I really hate "No U-turn" signs.  They're always in places that are ideal for making u-turns.  And that's the thing.  I have no real desire to break the law.  In fact, it's often in my best interest to do things legally.  I simply want to turn around and go the other way.  Obviously the sign was put there in response to everyone making u-turns, which people don't just do no a whim.  Apparently it's simply a good place to turn around.  So instead of putting up a sign prohibiting a desirable practice, how about telling me where I can legally turn around, i.e. "U-turn in 500 ft" or "U-turn at next light". #travel

Blind taxi drivers for hire
The British city of Portsmouth offers its taxi driver application in large print, audio, and Braille. #travel

Newark Airport ruined me (1)
Newark Airport is and has always been the geographically closest airport to me.  And the older I get and the more places I travel to, the more I realize that Newark Airport is hell's armpit.  To summarize my thoughts, here's a table: 





Other AirportNewark Airport
Carpeting and natural lightingLinoleum, stainless steel, walls painted gray
Friendly people and short linesAngry robots and overnight camping areas
Paved roads and easily-viewable signageDirt roads, construction, signs after you already missed the turn
Free economy parking, otherwise $5/day to park next to the planeEconomy parking $18/day, otherwise unspecified volume of human blood to park anywhere else
Surrounding towns:  Niceville, Farmville, NicefarmvilleSurrounding towns:  Newark, Elizabeth, Bayonne (a.k.a. armpit, armpit, armpit)
The one thing that always gets me is the pace of life at Newark Airport.  It's chaos.  All the time.  No matter what.  But I'm pretty much used to it by now because there's Jersey in my blood (literally, arsenic, petroleum, and Axe Body Spray runoff).  The thing that scares me is what non-locals must think when they fly into and attempt to drive out of Newark Airport.  Crazy taxis, confusing roads, endless construction.  It's like a bomb just went off, all the time. #travel