Newark Airport is and has always been the geographically closest airport to me.  And the older I get and the more places I travel to, the more I realize that Newark Airport is hell's armpit.  To summarize my thoughts, here's a table: 





Other AirportNewark Airport
Carpeting and natural lightingLinoleum, stainless steel, walls painted gray
Friendly people and short linesAngry robots and overnight camping areas
Paved roads and easily-viewable signageDirt roads, construction, signs after you already missed the turn
Free economy parking, otherwise $5/day to park next to the planeEconomy parking $18/day, otherwise unspecified volume of human blood to park anywhere else
Surrounding towns:  Niceville, Farmville, NicefarmvilleSurrounding towns:  Newark, Elizabeth, Bayonne (a.k.a. armpit, armpit, armpit)
The one thing that always gets me is the pace of life at Newark Airport.  It's chaos.  All the time.  No matter what.  But I'm pretty much used to it by now because there's Jersey in my blood (literally, arsenic, petroleum, and Axe Body Spray runoff).  The thing that scares me is what non-locals must think when they fly into and attempt to drive out of Newark Airport.  Crazy taxis, confusing roads, endless construction.  It's like a bomb just went off, all the time. #travel