| Newark Airport ruined me (1) | Tuesday, Mar 9, 2010 1:38 pm |
Newark Airport is and has always been the geographically closest airport to me. And the older I get and the more places I travel to, the more I realize that Newark Airport is hell's armpit. To summarize my thoughts, here's a table:
| Other Airport | Newark Airport |
|---|---|
| Carpeting and natural lighting | Linoleum, stainless steel, walls painted gray |
| Friendly people and short lines | Angry robots and overnight camping areas |
| Paved roads and easily-viewable signage | Dirt roads, construction, signs after you already missed the turn |
| Free economy parking, otherwise $5/day to park next to the plane | Economy parking $18/day, otherwise unspecified volume of human blood to park anywhere else |
| Surrounding towns: Niceville, Farmville, Nicefarmville | Surrounding towns: Newark, Elizabeth, Bayonne (a.k.a. armpit, armpit, armpit) |
The one thing that always gets me is the pace of life at Newark Airport. It's chaos. All the time. No matter what. But I'm pretty much used to it by now because there's Jersey in my blood (literally, arsenic, petroleum, and Axe Body Spray runoff). The thing that scares me is what non-locals must think when they fly into and attempt to drive out of Newark Airport. Crazy taxis, confusing roads, endless construction. It's like a bomb just went off, all the time.
A fabulous defense of NJ.