Brand X Music creates "beautifully composed, premium, orchestral music scored for the marketing of feature films, video games, television programs, commercials and all forms of internet broadcast."  It's that nondescript, intense music that's in most movie trailers.  Who knew this was an actual thing? 

Seinfeld creator Larry David wrote about the similarities between golf and terminal disease, where he went through the stages of anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance (of golf, not disease).  I fully agree.  The only way to enjoy golf is to not try to be good. 

The guy in the cubicle adjacent to mine likes to call people, put it on speakerphone, and then shout entire conversations because he thinks the people on the other end can't hear him since he's not speaking directly into the phone's microphone.  I'm pretty sure they can hear you, buddy.  Everyone can hear you. 

I was told by a friend that cheddar cheese contains no lactose.  I tend to disregard most things people say these days because of the amount of disinformation contained in email forwards, web forums, and Facebook.  But it turns out this one is true: 

Most of the lactose found in cheese is removed with the whey during the manufacturing process. Most ripened cheeses, such as Cheddar and Swiss, contain about 95% less lactose than whole milk. Aged cheeses contain almost no lactose.

That's good news for cheese fans who are intolerant of lactose. 

About a year ago I got a netbook, a little laptop that's lightweight, cheap, and has great battery life.  But because of its size, it has some less-than-impressive hardware.  It doesn't have much RAM, and it's not great at playing games or things like that.  But it's great for simple web searching and light computing, which is exactly why I bought it and exactly what I use it for.  For some reason, it came pre-installed with Windows 7.  Like any new software iteration, Windows 7 is a bigger, fatter, slower version of its previous incarnations, and as such, requires significant hardware to feed its neverending gluttony.  So obviously what I'm getting at is that Windows 7 is the absolute worst operating system you can possibly put on a netbook.  Yesterday I was finally able to coax my netbook into letting me install Windows XP from a USB drive (since it has no CD drive), and now it's amazing.  It's blazing fast and everything just works.  I can't believe I dealt with Windows 7 for an entire year. 

This rat makes me hate rats a little less: 

It looks like he has human hands.

The packaging for compact fluorescent light bulbs says something like, "Save $11 per year on energy costs."  Seriously?  You want me to buy a new product and replace my current light bulbs so I can save $11 per year?  It's like when my bank called me to advise me to move some money in my checking account to an interest-bearing checking account which would yield about 0.1% APY.  Even a big bank account with like $10,000 would only make $10 in interest per year.  Having to change my direct deposit, billpay, and order new checks simply isn't worth $10. 

Related:  Driving to save money

A recent study found that women like men who drive nice cars. 

I have a confession to make.  I also like men who drive nice cars.  Or more accurately, I'm attracted to nice cars, regardless of the owner or driver.  But more often than not, drivers of really nice cars are male.  And I'm not talking about Mustangs or Camaros, which are decent but common.  I'm talking about things like Lamborghinis and Ferraris, which make me literally stop in my tracks so I can ogle them with mouth agape.  I'm not gay, but I would marry a man with a Ferrari.  As long as he was sensitive and faithful. 

I'm not a car person, and I'm not a car stereo person, but I recently installed an auxiliary adapter in my car's stock radio, and it was surprisingly easy.  Once I figured out it was possible, I bought an adapter online and found a video that showed how to take apart my dashboard.  With a screwdriver, a socket wrench, a laptop, and about 10 minutes of free time, I modified my car stereo so it can easily interface with an iPod or any other portable music player.  I'm amazed at how awesome I am.  And at how awesome the internet is. 

Geese near NYC airports are going to be rounded up, killed, cooked, and served to poor people, which is pretty much the smartest thing any type of government organization has ever done, in the history of ever.  It's like killing two birds with one stone.  Or two birds with one bird.