I have a slight problem:  I'm mildly lactose intolerant.  "Common symptoms include nausea, cramps, bloating, gas, and diarrhea..."  I usually get about 1 or 2 of those 5.  I'll keep those 1 or 2 a secret for the good of humanity. 

This "disease" is funny because it has a very simple cure:  Stop eating things that contain lactose.  It's kind of like the solution to a hand hurting after being hit by a hammer:  Don't hit the hand with a hammer.  But here's my problem:  I love cheese.  Let me say that again.  I love cheese.  Love, love, love.  I had a turkey and swiss sandwich for lunch today.  Amazing!  Pasta without Parmesan cheese?  Unheard-of.  Grilled cheese without cheese?  Ridiculous.  And it's not just cheese.  I like ice cream, whole milk, and coffee creamer among other things.  I'm a big fan of dairy. 

Lactose intolerance would be a lot easier to deal with if it made me sick to my stomach.  Oops I gave away part of the secret.  Yeah so I don't get nauseous.  If I did, I would always remember what happened the last time I ate dairy, and that would make me stop.  But no.  My symptoms aren't that big of a deal.  Well, for me they're not.  So the negative side-effects of eating dairy don't outweigh the positive goodness. 

But I think I ate too much cheese this week, because I got another one of the 5 symptoms.  And I didn't really like this symptom.  It felt like there was an alien inside of me and he was pushing on the walls of my organs.  So I came to the conclusion that I should probably eat less dairy; maybe only have it with one meal per day.  That's fine with me.  As long as it takes care of that alien. #food