|I talk about Quizno's a lot, but it's time to talk about my good old friend, Subway. I used to eat at Subway all the time, before I discovered the magical goodness at Quizno's. Tall guy Ian used to be a semi-evangelist for "Two-For-Tuesday", Subway's weekly special where you could get two sandwiches for the price of one. But then I started trying new things at Subway, and like usual, I was completely unsatisfied. So that's why I started going somewhere else to satisfy my sandwich cravings. But recently, I've been a little overly satisfied at Quizno's. Their sandwiches are really complicated. Even their salads are pretty "meaty". When you get something at Quizno's, you don't just get a little sandwich with some ham and cheese. You get a sandwich with "primo" meats and cheese, along with several different special sauces, all of which are put through an assembly line toaster. While the sandwiches are amazing, I felt like something a little bit simpler. So I went to Subway. Subway is like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. You get to decide what gets put on your sandwich, and you get to watch it being made so they can't slip in jalapenos when you're not looking. So I ordered a sandwich with no cheese  or mayo or anything that might bring about my problem. I got a nice simple sandwich where I could identify all the ingredients, and it was great. Kudos, Subway. You're still good.
 One small problem: Like all food ordering experiences, I had to clarify that I didn't want cheese. For some reason, people don't get this. I personally think it's pretty simple. I said, "Can I have ham and turkey on a 6-inch Hearty Italian roll?" She said, "Sure." She did a few things and started making it. Then she said, "What kind of cheese do you want?" Here's what I felt like saying: "Cheese? Cheese?! I don't want no stinkin' cheese, lady! If I wanted cheese, I would've asked for cheese! Did you hear me say cheese? 'Ham and turkey on a 6-inch Hearty Italian roll.' That's it! Just make my sandwich the way I want it!" What I actually said was, "No cheese, please." #food