I heard two interesting things about kids recently: 

1. I learned that the sense of taste is a newborn's strongest sense.  That's why they put everything in their mouth and lick things off the floor.  It's how they figure out information about texture, temperature, and anything else you can learn from licking things.
2. On expecting the birth of a third child, a bystander quipped, "It's like going from man-to-man to a zone defense."  Well played.

Why is it that people who drive large, black SUVs powered by fuel-wasting V8 engines that will almost definitely never be taken off-road or be used for anything other than carting kids and dogs around to soccer practice and parks, feel the need to let their vehicles sit in the parking lot and idle while they go into the supermarket and buy a few things? 

I was listening to the radio while I was driving yesterday, and I heard an ad for AIG.  Yeah, you know, the company we all own now because the government lent it $85 billion of taxpayer money.  I'm no genius, and I have no degrees or experience that allows me to give sound financial advice, but for the love of all things holy, if your company experiences a failure of epic proportions, probably the first thing you should do is eliminate your advertising budget. 

Once again, I hate politics.  I refuse to try to persuade anyone to believe one thing or another, and any time I read the political opinions of random people on the internet, I throw up a little.  But I have two thoughts regarding the current rat race for the presidency: 

1. I actually hope Obama gets elected.  Whether he does anything good or not is completely beside the point.  I just think it would be good for the health of our nation, our younger voters, and our multitudes of liberal celebrities to finally get their way.  Otherwise, there could be riots.
2. The biggest criticism of Palin is her lack of experience.  I seem to remember a few months ago when the biggest criticism against Obama was his lack of experience.  Suddenly all these democrats that said you didn't need experience to run the country have changed their mind.

For the record, I side with neither candidate at the moment.  However, I'm leaning towards Palin (and her running mate John what's-his-name) because she's attractive and has a good impersonator in Tina Fey. 

Sometimes I document things solely for the purpose of documenting them, not to share them with other people.  Such is the case with cat puke.  Cats have delicate digestive systems, so they puke all the time.  Most times it's gross, as most puke is.  But other times, I take pictures of the puke because it's funny, whether it's in a weird location or is unusual in shape or content.  But as a person who has a mild understanding of social norms, I know that sharing pictures of cat puke isn't entirely acceptable.  However, today's Friday, so I'm making an exception. 

Exhibit 1 seems to be sending a very clear message:  "Here's what I think of your computer." 

Wendy pointed out that this could legitimately be an intentional message because our cats like to sit in our laps, and guess what often takes up lap space?  The laptop.  It's worth pointing out that the culprit must have carefully aimed this particular puke because the laptop was on the coffee table, not just in the middle of the floor.  So the cat had to get up on the coffee table, position itself so that it would be directly facing a particular section of the laptop, and let loose.  It was a calculated move.  Kind of like this little dog from Cute Overload. 

Exhibit 2 is from a year ago and requires an explanation.  Sometimes we let our cats outside, and like most cats, they eat grass like it's their job.  Experts disagree on why cats eat grass (whether it's because it tastes good or because it makes them puke up hairballs), but the fact remains that cats do in fact eat grass.  Since our cats live inside, as soon as they run out the door, they chomp down a bunch of grass before we can do anything about it, then they puke it all up as soon as they get inside. 

For some reason, the grass eaten in this particular instance seems to have contained more green coloring than normal.  I remember stumbling upon this green pile of liquid as I was about to go upstairs, and it took me a while to actually figure out what it was. 

I've been into faux Mexican food lately, so here's my comparison of three popular chains: 

Qdoba - I got a standard chicken, peppers, onions, and cheese wrap, and it was one of the worst food items I've ever attempted to force down my gullet in recent memory.  I'm usually good about finishing my food because I don't like to waste money and I can usually put up with bad-tasting food simply to get rid of my hunger.  This was the exception.  I actually stopped eating my barf wrap and threw it the hell out. 
My rating:  0/5 stars

Chipotle - I mentioned this place a few weeks ago and my feelings haven't changed.  I got the chicken, peppers, onions, and cheese wrap, then the next day I got the steak, peppers, onions, cheese, and rice wrap.  I asked the wrap-maker to skip the rice, but he apparently didn't hear me.  But it might've been the best rice I've ever eaten.  The cilantro really brings it all together.  And the wrap-makers do everything right in front of you, which makes the whole process very transparent and comforting. 
My rating:  5/5 stars

La Salsa - I'm not sure how big of a chain this is, but there's one about five minutes from where I work.  Again, I got the standard chicken, peppers, onions, and cheese wrap, but I was surprised to find it also came with broccoli, corn, and other assorted vegetables.  The thing is, they make the wraps somewhere behind the counter, so I didn't know what I was getting until I took the first bite.  I like the idea of the extra vegetables, but it just didn't taste right.  I'm probably going back tomorrow to try it without all those veggies.  Update:  I went back and got the steak, peppers, onions, and cheese, and I asked for no extra vegetables.  The end result was just ok.  My rating stands. 
My rating:  3/5 stars

When we first signed up for our current cable TV package, it was about $40 per year.  Each year, the price has gone up $10, so we're now paying $60 for the exact same crappy, overpriced, yet practically indispensable service.  I've read on a few websites that cable companies (and service companies in general) will gladly allow you to pay less if you threaten to switch to a different provider.  This is what Wendy tried on Monday.  But after a moderately long back-and-forth discussion, the customer service person wouldn't budge.  So Wendy said, "Here's the thing:  I don't feel like paying $60 when we used to pay $40."  The CS rep agreed and lowered our monthly rate to $40 (for a year, after which we'll do the exact same thing).  So basically, what we have here is a pick-a-price service.  You name your price, they provide the service.  Don't like your price?  Ask for a lower one.  What a concept. 

Hooray!  We're gittin' new pinnies! 

So not only has our entire economic system eaten itself, leaving our government in charge of several of our nation's (and the world's) largest financial institutions, but we're getting new currency that's still a complete waste of time and space and is still worth less than the material used to make it (but it's actually not that bad).  The only thing we can hope for is that our fine government spends less than $30 million teaching us yokels how to use it.  God bless America. 

Wendy and I were walking on a New Jersey beach a few weeks ago and she found an iPod partially buried in the sand.  It was a fairly empty beach, but we still looked around to see if anyone had dropped it or was looking for it.  There was no telling how long it had been there or who the rightful owner was, so we kept it.  Wendy had recently bought an iPod, so we were both familiar with the cost.  Considering the fact that it was full of music, this iPod was probably worth around $300 for the owner. 

A similar thing happened when we were hiking a few years ago.  We hiked a section of the Appalachian Trail and found a camera in the parking lot where we stopped.  It had a bunch of the same pictures I had just taken, so I knew the owner had just hiked the same section as us.  We looked around but didn't see anyone, so we put it in a place to make it more visible, hoping the person might come back and look in that exact spot. 

The thing with lost and found items is that I would gladly return them to the rightful owner.  I have no use for an iPod, especially one covered in sand (though I cleaned it up and it works fine).  And I have no use for someone's digital camera because I already have a few myself.  Personally, I'd rather return the object to its rightful owner, complete with all its digital media (music and pictures).  With most cameras I use, I'll keep a picture on it that says I own it and that if I lose it, it would be nice to have it returned but to at least email me the pictures.  The thing is, digital cameras are a dime a dozen these days, but the pictures are worth quite a bit more.  One time a "friend" picked up my camera and when he saw my identifier picture, he laughed at me.  He's the kind of person that would steal something directly from my pocket, but either way, he wasn't convinced anyone would have the common decency to return it.  I personally would.  I own several small digital products that have a tendency to fall out of pockets, and I have enough money to go buy my own.  If I find one that belongs to someone else, I'll gladly return it. 

So to all the people who own digital cameras, mp3 players, cell phones, and the like, always put a file on your device that says who the owner is and how to get in contact with them.  Or at least use a sticky note. 

I feel like I have a disproportionate number of opportunities to commit a major crime than most people do.  For example, I just pulled into a parking spot at Target, and I just so happened to be next to a car that was idling with no driver and no one around.  If I was a criminal, this would practically be an invitation to steal a car.  And since I'm not dumb, I'd probably get away with it, at least for a while.  The key is to get in the car and drive away calmly, as if you own it and know exactly what you're doing.  Most dumb criminals would hastily look over their shoulder, jump in the driver's seat, and peel out.  Thankfully, I already have a car, so I have no need for someone else's.  It's like this recent story of the guy who stole a Ferrari because it was sitting at a dealership with the keys in the ignition and the engine running.  Can you really blame him? 

Then there's the whole idea of theft.  I feel like I could get away with stealing anything.  Whenever I enter or exit a store and the theft deterrent system starts beeping, the cashiers and security people always tell me to not worry about.  Either the machine is malfunctioning, or they forgot to remove the tag from whatever I bought.  What this means to me is that the alarm will go off no matter what, which makes it ridiculously easy to stuff a bunch of things in my pockets and walk out casually as the false alarm sounds. 

A few weeks ago, I went to a store to fill up the propane tank for my grill.  The store was set up so that you had to pay in one place and pick up in another place.  It occurred to me after I paid and as I was picking up that there was merely a thread of dignity stopping me from not paying at all and simply telling the guy I already paid.  At another store, it was brought to my attention that I could quite easily buy something, go back into the store with the receipt, and walk out with the same receipt and another of the same product, simply by telling the salespeople, "It's ok, I have a receipt."  Am I the only one who notices so many opportunities to commit a crime?