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Responsibility Thu, Dec 28, 2006
Sometimes I want to get rid of all my responsibilities.  I don't mean the normal things like going to work and paying bills.  I mean the things I really don't like such as regularly recurring duties and being in charge of things.  Taking classes would definitely fit into the "things I don't like" category.  But more than that, it's little things like my responsibility to send an email to my Bible study group every week.  Every Tuesday, I send an email to let people know the plans for the week and if we have any upcoming events.  It's not a big deal.  But I really dislike doing it, mainly for the fact that it's a recurring responsibility; I can't forget to do it, otherwise I'll let people (mainly myself) down (for me, unreliability = failure).  This is definitely very closely related to my dislike of planning things because planning incurs responsibility; if I say I'll be there, I need to be there.  I can't be late, otherwise I'll be letting people (mainly myself) down.  This also applies to food/health:  I have a responsibility to live a long, healthy life, so I need to eat right and do some amount of exercise.  This is a responsibility.  It's not always easy.  Sometimes I just want to eat Cool Whip.  Only Cool Whip.  All the time.  God I love Cool Whip. 

The bad radio station I listen to did a bit where they brought some homeless people into their studio for some sort of competition.  They were talking to one of the guys about his living space (a cardboard box), and they were noticing that he was always pretty drunk.  The guy said he spends all his money on alcohol and cigarettes, and he's even been diagnosed with liver disease.  But the thing that struck me most about him was his level of satisfaction.  He gave up all responsibilities.  He stopped working.  He stopped paying bills.  He stopped calling people.  He stopped worrying about health.  All he does now, day in and day out, is live for himself.  And he's totally ok with that.  It's unfortunate he let his life become that way, and it's odd to see someone be so incredibly selfish.  But at the same time, he's got something I'd sometimes like:  No responsibilities. #psychology

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