Chinese fire drill May 14, 2007
In a nationwide effort to prepare China for the 2008 Olympics, Beijing officials have designated the 11th of every month as "voluntarily wait in line" day, hoping to crack down on pushing and shoving in favor of orderly queues.  I guess the idea of a Chinese fire drill isn't made up after all.  (via News of the Weird) #sociology
Internationals Apr 24, 2007
One thing I've noticed about people who've lived in a foreign country for an extended amount of time is that every minute detail of daily life is forever compared with a similar experience in that foreign country.  And most comparisons portray American life in a bad light, causing people like me to think things like, "Well, if you like your foreign country so much, why don't you just move there?"  The social life in Brazil is more friendly.  The family life in Ireland is more loving.  The historic sites in Italy are more ... historic.  While any of these statements are most likely true, it gets a little annoying sometimes to always hear comparisons between your country and my country.  And although I'm sure I would constantly preach about the greatness of America if I was a resident of a foreign land, that situation hasn't happened yet, so I can continue to hold my air of contempt towards people who currently do this. #sociology
Halloween Oct 31, 2006
By far, my favorite thing about Halloween is watching kids and animals paraded around like little circus acts.  I think it's hilarious.  I'm sure the folks in PETA might be against some of the stuff on Cute Overload and Stuff On My Cat (such as cat lizard, cat Superman, cat Snow White, cat lobster, dog Batman, collection of dogs, dog Superman, dog bus), but I'm a huge fan.  I wish I had a pet that was ok with wearing costumes.  Whenever I try to put anything on Dilbert or Nemo, they collapse like a magical switch just turned off their motor skills. 

All babies are required to go through a series of embarrassing costume endeavors, most of which consist of being a baby animal for Halloween, a baby animal for Christmas, a baby animal for Easter or some other spring holiday, and the classic "passed out next to an empty beer bottle" for any holiday not previously covered.  I was just at ShopRite and saw a mom with her daughter dressed as a little lady bug.  As I was driving to work this morning, I saw a bunch of kids in their costumes getting on the bus to go to school.  I'm amazed at the quality and ingenuity of costumes these days.  My parents never bought us Halloween costumes.  We always wore some combination of random garments found in the attic.  Every year, at least one of us was some sort of bum or other related oversized-unmatching-old-clothing gig.  The kids these days really have it made.  Stores like Walmart have a huge selection of all kinds of costumes, ranging from classic superheroes to ghosts and dead things.  It's great to see parents acting out their childhood wishes with their children or pets.  When I have kids, I'll do the same.  Tis the reason for the season. #sociology
Nine eleven Sep 11, 2006
Today is the 5th anniversary of 9-11. 

I was in the McLean building of Stevens Institute of Technology for an Engineering Design III lab when it happened.  One of the guys in my class walked out in the hall to go to the bathroom.  When he came back, he said, "A plane just hit the World Trade Center."  My professor said, "Oh yeah, and a giant gorilla is climbing up the Empire State Building."  We all walked down the hall to get a clear view across the river.  After a couple minutes, we watched as the second plane hit. 

At least two people I went to school with said they were supposed to be working in one of the towers that day but for whatever reason didn't make it into work.  One guy said he missed his alarm and overslept.  By the time he got up, the bad stuff was already happening. 

My design lab ended early because nobody could really focus, and most of the campus/area was in a mild panic.  I've never seen so many people on cell phones at one time.  I had another class or two later in the day, and I was surprised to find that one of the classes went on as if nothing happened.  That class was Gerald Rothberg's Thermodynamics.  I guess nothing can stop Thermo. 

As I walked back from class, I stopped at a few points along the river.  After a few minutes of watching smoke billow out the top of the buildings, I walked away in a daze.  Ten seconds later, I heard people scream and gasp, so I ran back to one of the viewpoints.  One of the towers had just fallen, and the dust cloud was covering much of lower Manhattan.  I spent a little while watching CNN in a public area (Jacobus), and after a little while, the second tower fell.  I remember thinking after the first one, "I can't believe an entire building just collapsed.  There's no way the other one can fall."  But it did.  I watched the second tower fall on TV, then walked outside to watch the dust cloud.  It was pretty crazy. 

I needed to get a haircut that day, and I decided to get it despite all the chaos.  I sort of felt weird/bad about it, but I rationalized that no terrorist was gonna stop me from getting a haircut.  Take that, terrorism. 

For weeks or months after this event, I (and probably most other people) would look into the sky every time I heard a plane passing overhead and think, "Great, here comes another plane crashing into another building."  But it offered at least some consolation that there were a few fighter jets flying in circles over the area at all times. #sociology
Sesame Street Apr 5, 2006
I work with a guy named Ernie.  The other day, he called a co-worker while I was in the room.  He said, "Hi Curt, it's Ernie."  I had to struggle to hold in my laughter. #sociology
Scott Adams Mar 22, 2006
Scott Adams is the mastermind behind Dilbert.  He has a blog where he talks about very random and assorted things.  On the about page, it talks about how he got started drawing comics.  After working for many years in a number of different fields, he "entertained himself during boring meetings by drawing insulting cartoons of his coworkers and bosses."  How awesome is that?  Some bigwigs were sitting around a table thinking Mr. Adams was doing some serious note-taking.  Little did they know he was drawing pictures of them that would later make him tons of money.  Genius. #sociology
Lord of the Flies Feb 21, 2006
One time, many moons ago, I was a peer leader in high school.  Peer leaders were the people who helped little kids find their lockers when they first got to high school.  It was my way of giving back to the community.  Actually, like most people who did it, I was told it would look good on my college transcripts.  That was the reason I did a lot of things in high school. 

One fateful Friday night, the "leadership" (faculty advisers) of peer leadership decided to have a lock-in at the high school as a way to form a more "together" group of people.  I think I remember being forced to do some stupid things like lip syncing and playing games.  There were some sports in the gym (I think) and some music in the auditorium (I think).  I could be combining several different memories here, but that's not important.  What was important was the fact that the faculty advisers gave the peer leaders free reign of the entire high school.  I guess their rationale was that we were the cream of the crop students.  We were the good kids.  We wouldn't get into any trouble.  The events that followed would later come to be known as the Great Kittatinny Peer Leadership Fiasco. 

Giving teenagers freedom is the worst thing anyone can possibly do.  With freedom comes drug use and teen pregnancy.  Or in this case, the theft of ice cream.  A few select students found a big freezer that was chained shut.  Like ravenous sharks following the scent of blood, these students discovered that this locked freezer contained ice cream.  Like a lot of ice cream.  They also discovered that the lock wasn't all that impenetrable.  By forcefully opening one edge of the door of the freezer, they were able to squeeze their grubby little paws in and snag some beautifully tasty ice cream.  And not just ice cream in pints.  I'm talking about the good stuff here:  ice cream sandwiches, chipwiches, those cones with black cookie bits.  All the stuff you see in the food store and think about buying but then decide against it when you see how expensive it is.  These sneaky students took out a few things for themselves, and were even kind enough to ask a few other people if they wanted any. 

Later on in the night, people broke into the main office and commandeered the intercom system, which they hastily used to spread messages of propaganda to anyone with ears.  Some couples were found off by themselves doing things that only mommies and daddies should be doing. 

When we got back to school on Monday morning, we came to learn that the faculty advisers found out about some of the bad things and weren't exactly happy about it.  Concerning the ice cream heist, they questioned several people and dished out several in-school suspensions.  I was one of the people brought in for questioning.  I may or may not have lied directly to the vice principal when he asked me if I stole ice cream.  I may have said that I ate some ice cream sandwiches that were sitting on a table.  The truth may have been that I was the kid who said, "Hey Ian, can you get me one?"  This is all speculation and the truth will never be fully known. 

The reason I called this post "Lord of the Flies" is because I think these events are sort of like that book.  I was never very good at reading comprehension, but I think part of the book had something to do with the inherent evil in mankind and the almost instinctual regression of behavior to the primitive.  Leave a bunch of kids stranded on an island and somebody will wind up dead.  Leave a bunch of high school "leaders" in a rule-free high school and wind up getting ice cream stolen. #sociology
Valentine’s Day (1) Feb 14, 2006
When I was in elementary school, we used to celebrate Valentine's Day by bringing in a bunch of Valentines and handing them out to the people in our class.  Except I think I remember having the option of giving certain people Valentines while not giving other people Valentines.  So basically, it was a popularity contest, with the fat and smelly people getting the least number of Valentines (sorry if that's offensive; it's what I remember).  I think I also remember noticing that this was a terrible system and giving Valentines to certain people who didn't have many. 

What a terrible holiday.  Join me and Wendy in boycotting this fascist invention they call a holiday.  But continue eating M&Ms and other Mars products. #sociology
Trashy Dec 5, 2005
Most beautiful name I've ever heard in my life:  Trashawna. 

Obvious nickname overlooked by parents:  Trash. #sociology
Woohoo Nov 18, 2005
I got this letter from a bank and I couldn't not make fun of it.  Red text added for comic relief. 
#sociology