When I was in elementary school, we used to celebrate Valentine's Day by bringing in a bunch of Valentines and handing them out to the people in our class.  Except I think I remember having the option of giving certain people Valentines while not giving other people Valentines.  So basically, it was a popularity contest, with the fat and smelly people getting the least number of Valentines (sorry if that's offensive; it's what I remember).  I think I also remember noticing that this was a terrible system and giving Valentines to certain people who didn't have many. 

What a terrible holiday.  Join me and Wendy in boycotting this fascist invention they call a holiday.  But continue eating M&Ms and other Mars products. #sociology