Relationship advice Feb 14, 2006
I ain't no genius.  This can be evidenced by the fact that I misspelled the word "genius" [genious] on this site several times in the past (and have since gone back and corrected these misspellings).  But I have a few recommendations for people in relationships. 

Guys:  If you're thinking about getting engaged, keep this in mind:  There's a stupid unwritten rule that says that the engagement ring should be worth about 3 months' salary.  If you're cheap or don't care, don't worry about it.  But if you want to follow the rule, get engaged when you have little to no income.  That's what I did.  I was in college, making about $50 a week at most.  If I followed the rule, I would've gotten an engagement ring that cost about $600.  If you've ever shopped for diamonds, you know that $600 would get you a 1/32 karat dirty yellow diamond with scratches on it. 

Engaged couples:  Have a destination wedding.  A destination wedding invitation goes something like this:  "Hey, we're getting married on a beautiful, faraway island.  You can come if you want, but we'll understand if you can't make it.  We're registered at the following stores..."  There are several awesome things about this. 

(1) Your honeymoon starts immediately after the wedding.  No travel time required. 
(2) Your wedding will most likely be small because only a select few people will be able to afford (and will want to) travel to a faraway island. 
(3) You'll still get wedding gifts if you're registered somewhere.  Gifts are normally received at the wedding shower, though there are a few at the actual wedding.  The problem with this is that most of the gifts at the wedding are cold hard cash, so this is a drawback. 
(4) You probably won't have to plan too much because let's face it, how many DJs and caterers are on faraway islands? 
(5) You'll be on a faraway island. 

If you don't like islands, I've heard there are magical cities in the US with blinking lights and drive-thru wedding chapels.  I'm not allowed to speak of these places because "what happens there, stays there". #lifestyle
Mentos moments Feb 14, 2006
Sometimes I have Mentos moments.  Mentos moments are when things happen and it looks like a Mentos commercial.  Remember the commercial with the guy in a single-color business suit who sat on a freshly-painted bench?  He ate a Mentos, rolled around on the bench, and left with a pinstripe suit.  Or the guy who was crossing the street and got separated from his friends?  He ate a Mentos, climbed through the backseat of a car, and rejoined his friends on the other side of the street. 

Most of my Mentos moments happen while driving.  Last week, I was backing out of a parking spot and going right, and there was a car to my right who down backing out and going left.  The person was blocking the right lane, which is where I would've driven past them.  Instead of pulling back in and letting the person go before me, I had a Mentos moment and drove to the left of them instead of the right.  I find myself breaking all kinds of rules in parking lots, and it's great. 

The other day as I was driving home from work, I was at a stop sign and I needed to get into the "going straight" lane at the next traffic light, but the "turning left" people were blocking my way.  Instead of sitting there feeling dejected and waiting for the light to change so I could catch an opening, I just went around behind everybody and got into my lane.  It was a beautiful moment. 

Some of these Mentos moments are hard to describe, but the looks on the people's faces say it all.  If my assumptions are correct in that all human beings are against me and everything I do to outsmart or outperform anyone else is a point for me, Mentos moments gain me good points. #entertainment
Car companies (2) Feb 14, 2006
Cars companies all sort of work together.  The following lists of companies all have something to do with one another, ranging from putting different emblems on the same car (Ford Taurus and Mercury Sable) to collaborating (Nissan Z Coupe and Infiniti G35 Coupe) to owning shares of each other's companies. 

Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, Mazda, Volvo, Jaguar, Land Rover, Aston Martin
GM, Chevrolet, Buick, Pontiac, GMC, Saturn, Hummer, Saab, Cadillac
Dodge, Chrysler, Jeep, Mercedes-Benz
Nissan, Infiniti, Suzuki
Toyota, Lexus, Scion
Honda, Acura
Audi, Volkswagen, Lamborghini #travel
Valentine’s Day (1) Feb 14, 2006
When I was in elementary school, we used to celebrate Valentine's Day by bringing in a bunch of Valentines and handing them out to the people in our class.  Except I think I remember having the option of giving certain people Valentines while not giving other people Valentines.  So basically, it was a popularity contest, with the fat and smelly people getting the least number of Valentines (sorry if that's offensive; it's what I remember).  I think I also remember noticing that this was a terrible system and giving Valentines to certain people who didn't have many. 

What a terrible holiday.  Join me and Wendy in boycotting this fascist invention they call a holiday.  But continue eating M&Ms and other Mars products. #sociology