Cemetery real estate Mar 25, 2010
Most times I drive past a cemetery, I can't help but think what a waste of real estate it is to store carved stoned and skeletons in boxes.  I'm cynical, obviously, and I apparently don't have much respect for the dead, so I guess I'm sorry if that's offensive.  But honestly, if we really want to cherish the physical remains of our loved ones, why don't we just build a tall building and put them in it, kind of like a filing cabinet?  It's not like they care either way; they're dead.  Option number two (which is inclusive of option number one) is to cremate.  I can't think of a valid reason why we don't cremate the dead.  I'm a Christian, and if the whole idea of death is to wait around until Christ's second coming, I doubt he really cares whether we're a pile of bones or a pile of dust.  Either way, he's gonna have a lot of work cut out for himself in putting us all back together. 

I would stop there, but there's more.  While I admit that it's kind of cool to walk through an old cemetery and look at the gravestones of people who died hundreds of years ago, I could honestly live without that small pleasure in life, for the simple reason that graveyards are essentially sanctioned littering.  Bodies decompose over time, so basically all that's left is either a heap of bones or a box that contains a heap of bones.  So really, we're just filling the ground with ornate boxes of bones and marking these locations with inscribed rocks.  Pretty stupid if you think about it. 

Finally, once a cemetery, always a cemetery.  No one will ever buy a house on land that used to be a graveyard.  You can't put a park there, because no one would go.  Pretty much the only viable alternative for post-cemetery land is to build a store that sells Halloween decorations, and we all know how poorly seasonal stores perform.  My point is that as more and more people die (as they tend to do), we'll need more room for our silly custom of storing bodies indefinitely, which will use up more and more valuable real estate, until there's nowhere else to live except on the moon.  Conclusion:  Cremate, and let the wind take care of the rest. #sociology
Halloween thoughts Oct 29, 2009
A few thoughts about Halloween: 
  • I like how we have a national holiday to celebrate candy.  I'm all for that.  I go to the stores and walk up and down the "holiday" aisle, which is usually full of crappy decorations and other stupidity, but for this holiday it's full of beautiful, wonderful candy.  God bless America.
  • I'd like to reiterate my point from two years ago:  Enough with slutty costumes.  We get it.  You're a slut.  High five.
  • I remember being a kid and suddenly figuring out how inefficient the tradition of candy collection is.  I lived in a fairly spread-out neighborhood with hills and no sidewalks.  On a typical Halloween night, I would walk about three miles, most of which was in the dark, usually in cold weather.  I discovered I could quite easily buy all that candy myself for about $10, and I wouldn't get stuck with things I didn't like.
  • From Shoebox:  "Costume Rule #13:  Unlike women, men can't just pick a profession and wear less clothes."
#sociology
Not me (6) Sep 28, 2009
Uh oh: 
David Hosier was arrested seven hours after police in Missouri found the bodies of two people in an apartment near the Missouri state capitol building.

Hosier was arrested after a short high speed chase by Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers and Cherokee County Sheriff's deputies at about 10 a.m. Monday.
Don't worry, this isn't me.  Unless this article is from the future, in which case I guess we'll see. #sociology
Funny names at work Jun 26, 2009
I don't know what it is with the people I work with, but it seems like there are endless possibilities for funny things to happen regarding names.  For example: 
  1. A few years ago I mentioned that my co-worker called another co-worker on the phone and said, "Hey Curt, it's Ernie."  To take it one step further, that same Ernie later worked on a project with a guy named Bert.
  2. Two Asian guys in my group both have the last name Wong.  One of my co-workers said something about inviting them to a meeting, at which point another co-worker said, "Two Wongs don't make a White."
  3. Just recently I overheard someone making a phone call who said, "Hey Ben, is Jerry there?"
#sociology
Punny names (7) Jun 24, 2009
Somewhat similar to my marriage name rules (Kelly Kelly, Julia Gulia), here are a few puntastic names: 
  1. My sister's last name is Barrow, and when trying to decide on a name for her first child, the most common suggestion from family members was Will Barrow.  Har har.
  2. Wendy works with a girl whose name is Julia Choi, and Julia married a guy whose last name was also Choi.  Her co-workers now call her Julia Choi-Choi.  But that's not all.  She recently had a child, and another co-worker's suggestion for a name was ... wait for it ... Buck Choi.
  3. I work with an Asian girl whose first name is Yin.  If she married this other Asian guy at work, her name would be Yin Yang.
#sociology
Tiger and Hootie Jun 15, 2009
Hootie and the Blowfish played the music for Tiger Woods' 2004 wedding.  How appropriate.  The whitest black man on earth, serenaded by the second whitest black man on earth.  No offense, of course.  Just an observation.  (via twitter/mental_floss) #sociology
Hadaka Matsuri Jun 9, 2009
Today's Ripley's mentions Hadaka Matsuri, the Japanese "naked festival" where men wearing thongs and loin cloths (or sometimes nothing) get drunk, run around outside in February, and eventually scramble around on the ground with all the other men to pick up sacred sticks thrown by priests, all in the name of purification and luck.  I can't really add anything to this. #sociology
Condolence cards Jun 2, 2009
Every once in a while, a relative of somebody at work dies, and we pass around a condolence card for people to sign and contribute money to a charitable cause.  Nothing wrong with that.  But every time a card reaches my desk, I sit there for what feels like forever, reading the things people have already written and trying to come up with something different to write.  All the usual things are taken, like "Sorry for your loss," "Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family," "Please let me know if there's anything I can do."  What else can you possibly say?  How many people can write the same thing before it gets old?  Is what I write really that important?  Do people actually read these cards?  Can I write what I'm really thinking, something like, "I can't imagine how you must feel now that your relative died.  I hope you find some sort of constructive and healthy way to deal with it, because I know I'd be an emotion mess and wouldn't know how to function."  After I've stared at the card for long enough, I usually just end up signing my name because I can't think of a better thing to do. #sociology
Greeting cards May 5, 2009
I used to buy people gifts for their birthdays, though it never felt natural.  "What do you want for your birthday?  Nothing specific?  So you want me to think of something?"  Many gifts were either consumables or "gifts," i.e. junk from the display section of a store.  Once I started making money, I really questioned the point of giving gifts.  "Why should I ask you what you want and then buy it for you when you could much more easily buy it for yourself?  Why don't I just give you money?"  But money's not a gift.  Gifts have to be heartfelt and meaningful.  And that's why I stopped giving them.  The fact is, I'm not thoughtful enough to think of something a person would like but doesn't need.  And if I have to ask what they want, it means I'm probably not close enough to them to know the answer in the first place.  So as much as I dislike the practice, I still buy people greeting cards for their birthdays.  I never really want to, because it seems so meaningless to spend money on a piece of paper that says something in a way I wouldn't be able to say it.  It's like I'm paying someone to do it for me.  But greeting cards are a socially acceptable practice, so I engage in the activity to make people believe I'm not a sociopath. #sociology
Equal Apr 7, 2009
I really like the logo for the Human Rights Campaign, even though I'm not an L, G, B, or a T. 
[Image: hrc.gif]
#sociology