Working outside Jun 17, 2008
After spending a few hours on Saturday mowing, chopping, and generally destroying things, two things came to mind:  (1) If I worked outside all day every day, I would be incredibly strong and in shape, (2) but I would be unimaginably sore and tired.  I only ever work outside for about 4 hours at a time.  After that, I can't even lift my arms.  I think I'm like a sprinter; I go all out, then I totally fall apart. #lifestyle
Yard work time Jun 10, 2008
I walked out my front door at 7am today, and one of my neighbors just started up his lawn mower.  I'm all about power tools and gas-powered gadgets, but this is a problem.  I personally believe no noise-producing tools should be used before the hour of 9am on weekdays, 10am on weekends.  Feel free to make up your own mind about these things, but don't be surprised if a flaming bag of cat poop appears on your front step in the middle of the night.  You've been warned. #lifestyle
Always late (2) May 6, 2008
From a conversation with a friend: 
Self:  It takes 20 minutes to get there.
Friend:  No it doesn't.  It only takes 15.
Self:  But you're always late.
Friend:  Bla bla bla that concept is too big for me.
Never take time advice from someone who's always late. #lifestyle
Disintegrating pants Apr 28, 2008
It's funny how certain pants, especially jeans, tend to reach a point where they disintegrate piece by piece until they essentially just fall right off.  I'm working on a pair of those jeans right now.  The section right above the right knee is gradually yet steadily fraying into nothingness.  It's happened a few times in the past, with several different brands of jeans.  But one thing's certain:  Once the process starts, nothing but the mighty hand of God can stop it (and oddly enough, he doesn't seem to care when my jeans disintegrate).  One day, you start to notice a few pieces of blue fabric on your hands.  You finally figure out it's from your jeans, but you rub a little just to make sure.  Yep, dissolving jeans.  Later in the day, you notice a hole forming.  You think, "Finally!  I have designer jeans!"  The next time you wear them, your foot gets caught in the hole and rips a huge gash.  You think, "Even more designer-y!"  By the end of the day, an entire pant leg has dissolved thread by thread and blown away in the wind.  No amount of duct tape will save these pants (I've tried).  It's time to move on. #lifestyle
Clean house Apr 23, 2008
I never used to understand the purpose of cleaning the house.  My parents would make me dust and vacuum occasionally, especially if someone was coming over.  My argument was that (1) we shouldn't jump through hoops to show people we're not dirty, and (2) people don't care anyway.  Now that I'm a "grownup", I see the point.  I'll jump through hoops to make people think I'm cleaner than I actually am, and yes, people do care.  They might say they don't, but they do.  I know this because I care when I'm at someone else's house.  I notice when people are dirty, and I generally don't like dirty people.  It's not because they're dirty, but because they didn't feel the need to take the time to clean up before I came over. #lifestyle
Jacket and shorts (2) Apr 20, 2008
I saw a guy in his 50s walking on the street today, and he was wearing a tweed jacket (part of a two-piece suit) and khaki shorts.  I admittedly don't know much about fashion, but I know this:  Jacket and shorts is a fashion no-no. #lifestyle
26 (2) Apr 18, 2008
Today I turn 26.  Here's what I should've written when I turned 25: 
  1. I've officially reached my mid-20s.
  2. I'm halfway to 50.
  3. I'm a quarter century old.
  4. I can finally rent a car (which is the last "milestone" based on age, except AARP, social security, and stuff like that, which aren't exactly fun to look forward to).
  5. For all intents and purposes, I'm likely at my prime.
Now I'm 26.  Nothing really changes at this age.  I'm still sort of in my mid-20s.  I'm halfway to 52, which is nothing to take note of.  Just another year closer to 30. #lifestyle
Lowrise (8) Apr 8, 2008
I was trying on some jeans in a store recently, and only after I had them completely on did I notice my underwear sticking out the back.  I thought I had them pulled up all the way, but I tried again.  Nope.  That's as far as they went.  Then I noticed the label.  It said "lowrise", as in "these pants don't cover your butt crack". 

Now, let me admit something:  I'm very far from being fashionable.  I don't buy nice clothes and I don't pretend to be well-dressed. 

I can understand the idea of lowrise jeans for women.  Some men find [very] lower backs and underwear attractive.  Even if you personally don't find that attractive, at least admit that some people out there do. 

However, no human being, male or female, living or dead, can possibly find the [very] lower back of a man attractive.  There's just no way.  It's absolutely impossible. 

So that begs the question:  What disgusting freak invented lowrise jeans for men? #lifestyle
Too soon (7) Feb 14, 2008
I know a woman whose husband passed away one year ago, and she just recently started dating (sorry if anyone reading this knows who I'm talking about or is in any way related to the persons mentioned; no offense is meant to anyone living or deceased).  This begs the question:  How soon is too soon?  How soon after your spouse dies are you justified in re-entering the dating world?  It's a tough question, but I have a pretty simple answer:  At least two years. 

My answer is based on two things:  (1) The mourning period, and (2) respect.  The period of time after something is lost varies greatly depending on what was lost.  For a dead fish, the mourning period might be a few days.  For a broken relationship in high school, it might be a few weeks.  For a dead dog, it might be a few months.  For a deceased relative or friend, it could be several years, or maybe forever.  The bottom line is that the proper amount of time to mourn a deceased spouse is definitely greater than one year.  Mourning doesn't necessarily mean sitting around on your couch crying over pictures and memories.  Mourning is different for different people and different losses.  But I think it's safe to say the proper way to mourn the loss of a spouse is by not entering into another relationship. 

That idea borders on the second part:  Respect.  In any romantic/dating relationship, there's a certain amount of time after the relationship ends when no new dating/romantic relationships should be formed.  It's a cooling off period.  A "find yourself and what you want" time.  If you jump back in too soon, you run the risk of your new relationship being called a "rebound".  And when you rebound, you're not only entering a new relationship at a bad time, you're essentially saying, "I'm over that person."  I think it's safe to say the proper amount of time to wait after a 20- or 30-year marriage ends before you start dating is greater than one year. 

When I put myself in the situation, I put myself in place of the deceased (Why is that?  Is there something wrong with me?).  If I got the chance to tell Wendy something on my death bed, I'd laughingly say I hope she never dates again, then I'd say I hope she shows me the respect of waiting at least two years.  After that, do whatever the heck you want.  I'm dead.  What am I gonna do about it?  But for those two or so years after my death, show me a little respect by mourning me and remembering our relationship.  After that, move on. 

To be fair, there are definitely exceptions.  For a relationship that was on the rocks and doomed for some time, the recovery period can be really short.  That's because it was over before it was over.  Similarly, if one or both of the people were chronically sick for an extended period of time before they died, I could see how it might feel like the relationship had been over for a while.  But that goes back to my second point.  You gotta show respect, even if you don't feel like it. 

There's a whole other aspect to this:  The idea that the right person happened to come into the picture at a not-so-great time.  In other words, even though you weren't ready to date, you happened to meet someone, and we all know people can't control their feelings.  I'll come down harder on that excuse than any other:  That's total BS.  You're right:  You can't control your feelings.  But you can control what you do about them.  If everyone just went around doing whatever they felt like, we'd all be a bunch of murderous, adulterous, druggies.  Instead, we learn to control our impulses and desires, even if that means waiting for the right time. 

As I said at the beginning, my apologies to the family and friends of the people I'm talking about.  I don't think this woman is a horrible person, and I wouldn't call her a disrespectful jerk if I met her.  I just have a different view on the topic.  And although I think it should be universal, I'll accept the fact that it's not. #lifestyle
New housing developments are ugly (6) Dec 28, 2007
Having grown up in an old house, I can appreciate the idea of a brand new house.  However, I can't appreciate the look of new housing developments.  They're ugly.  Butt ugly.  And I'm wondering why more people don't agree with me.  On the one hand, I don't know a single person who drives by one of those 20-McMansions-per-acre developments and says, "Wow, that's beautiful.  I like how you can reach out the window of one house and touch the house next to it."  But on the other hand, these crowded developments wouldn't exist if they weren't financially successful.  People are buying these huge houses and moving into these crowded neighborhoods.  And I just don't get it.  I understand the logic of maximizing the number of houses per square foot and even the number of square feet per house.  What I don't get is the logic of the buyers.  Who wants a huge house with no yard?  Who wants a house that looks exactly like the 47 other houses in the development?  I often don't care much about aesthetics and originality, but come on. #lifestyle