|I can't explain it, but I find the act of destruction to be incredibly fulfilling. That sounds weird, and it makes me seem like a violent, angry person. But I'm not. I just like destroying things, not for the sake of destroying them, but for the feeling of empowerment it gives me. Empowerment is sort of a sissy word, so I'll explain some more.
I wrote a while ago about my love for the weed whacker. So much destructive power in such a small package. There's just nothing better than obliterating grass and weeds with a spinning plastic string. It sounds stupid, but I know I'm not the only one. Maybe it's the gasoline fumes and the smell of exhaust from a 2-stroke engine. Maybe it's the finger-controlled throttle reminiscent of a gun trigger. Maybe it's the bits of grass and rock that get kicked up and flung everywhere. Whatever it is, it's my favorite thing to do around the yard. I just love destroying things with the weed whacker.
In another moment of destruction, I cut down a tree last weekend. Not just because I felt like it or because I hate nature. It was very dead and likely to fall at any time, with a good chance of hitting my house or a neighbor's. So I executed a preemptive strike. I tied some ropes to it to guide it where I wanted it to fall, then I chopped away at the trunk (I don't need no chainsaw ... actually, I wouldn't mind one since it's probably as destructive as 10 weed whackers put together). When it hit the ground, I almost squealed with delight like a little girl, but I quickly remembered the "manliness" of the situation and merely gave a nod of agreement as a sign of my dominance over that dead piece of wood. It was one of the best moments of my life.
I've been doing kickboxing for the past several months, and for lack of a better way of saying it, I absolutely love hitting things. I didn't get into fights growing up, and I've never really been big on physical violence, but I can't deny that I've developed a love for hitting things. At its core, I think it's all about destruction. I'm not angry when I'm punching and kicking things; I don't think about my enemies or that dude who cut me off in traffic. I just go in and destroy a punching bag. For something so simple and almost primitive, it surprises even me that so much enjoyment can be had.
I guess destruction makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel like I'm in control. Do I feel powerless and out of control at other times in life? Not really. Psychoanalysis has never really produced any legitimate results for me in the past, so I don't know if there's an underlying meaning or motivation behind my love of destruction. I just know I like destroying things. Simple as that. #psychology