This post will surely offend people who, in general, are free from reproach.  It's like I'm kicking a puppy. 

I went to the grocery store after work the other day to pick up lettuce.  And mints.  Gotta have my mints!  The total for my two objects was about $6, and it typically would've taken me all of twelve seconds to get out of there (scan, scan, swipe, done).  Every line in the grocery store was manned by a cashier, and both self-checkout lines were functional.  But every line was full.  Like five people deep.  And what people group made up the five-people-deep line at every checkout counter?  Moms. 

I, like most people, have nothing against moms.  I have a mom myself.  She's good.  I'm a fan.  I'm a fan of other moms as well.  They have a tough job.  I don't envy that job, and I respect the difficulties and hardships involved with said job.  When I see a mom with a kid who's crying, I don't think, "Wow, that mom sucks."  I think, "Wow, that kid sucks that's a tough job."  And when a kid in the checkout line behind me yesterday saw two objects she wanted and her mom said to pick one, and the kid responded with, "But I love both of them," I have to smile.  Moms and kids are good. 

That being said, I surveyed the checkout lines at the grocery store and glanced at my watch, which also displays the date.  Yep, still August, i.e. one of the two months out of the year when children are pretty much guaranteed to be off from school.  Adding that to the fact that many moms don't have a traditional nine-to-five job and instead stay home with their kids (a noble act in itself), I couldn't help but think:  Moms, get out of my way.  I know you're busy with kids and you just got back from swim lessons and it's impossible to find time for blah-blah yadda-yadda, but there are literally hundreds of other minutes in a typical day which would be better-suited for satisfying your grocery needs, i.e. nine to five.  Not before nine.  Not after five.  In other words, go to the store during the day, when it's less crowded and hectic, instead of after normal working hours, when everybody and their mother suddenly decides they need one single item and proceeds to disrupt the gentle flow of my local grocery store.  Damnit. 

Related:  Old people in my way #business

I rented two movies from a DVD kiosk the other night, then planned to return them on my way to work yesterday to avoid the late charge.  I got to work and realized I forgot to return the movies, but I was faced with a dilemma:  Drive 15-20 miles to return the movies, or suck up the $2 late charge?  For most people, that's an easy decision:  Suck it up.  Even with the late charge, it's still less than Blockbuster.  But for me, a late charge is an admission of failure.  It's like holding up the white flag, or wearing the scarlet letter.  Rational people would be happy to know I disregarded my control-freak-ery, stayed at work, and accepted the late fee.  But don't think for an instant I wouldn't drive 20 miles to save $2. #business

I tried to pay with a credit card at a gas station and was told they only accept debit.  That annoyed me, but I complied.  Upon swiping my debit card, the machine asked me if I was ok with paying a mandatory $0.45 transaction fee.  I considered waving around a lit match until I got my way, but I instead decided to stew about it for a few days and later blog about it. 

The thing is, transaction fees typically aren't a large percentage of the overall purchase, so they shouldn't be a big deal.  I think it's a problem with the wording.  In my mind, "transaction fee" translates into "charging you for charging you" or "paying for the privilege of paying."  And that's pretty much the stupidest thing in the history of anything.  I understand that in my case, I was using a payment method that actually incurred more cost to the merchant, and they were simply passing that cost on to the customer in an attempt to compete with other merchants selling similar products.  The logic is there, but it still sucks.  I wouldn't have minded paying another few cents a gallon, but tagging it on to the beginning of the transaction really made me want to cause physical harm to someone, and the poor guy behind the counter was almost on the receiving end. #business

When I need to travel for work and it's within driving distance, I'll usually rent a car from Enterprise because there's a location a few miles from my house.  The thing is, I haven't really been impressed with any of my experiences with them.  I drive to their location, park my car almost in the woods in the back of their crappy parking lot, then stand in line to get a car.  When it's my turn to talk to a person, I have to go through all these steps, present different forms of identification and payment, and sign papers saying I'm waiving insurance (which I'm never really sure is a good idea).  Then I go to the car, find out it has no keychain to unlock the doors, and it doesn't have cruise control, which means I get to press the gas pedal for the next four hours. 

What strikes me every time I go into this place is that they're bad at what they do.  Enterprise rents cars, and put simply, a three-legged dog could do a better job.  It seems like a pretty simple task:  A customer makes a reservation online, shows up at the store, and drives away in a car.  What happens after that second step to make it take so long, and why is it so complicated?  I understand the need for security and getting paid, but I feel like if you do one thing, you should probably do it pretty well since you spend all your time and effort doing that one thing. #business

I was talking to a guy a few weeks ago who was attending community college and thinking about getting a degree in "the funeral sciences" and later working in the funeral industry.  His logic:  People are always dying, so he'll always have a job.  As much as the idea of touching corpses gives me the heebee jeebees, I couldn't argue with his rationale.  There are really only a handful of truly recession-proof jobs, and using this guy's logic, I would add:  People are always having babies, people are always eating food, and people are always getting sick.  Jobs that have to do with death, birth, food, and health are probably a safe bet regardless of economic conditions. #business

One of the tactics used by a salesperson that recently came to my house was to calculate how much an item would cost on a daily basis.  For the ridiculously overpriced blender he was trying to sell, it worked out to something like $2 per day.  He conveniently left out the number of days the price was divided by, so for all I know, it could've been $2 per day for the rest of my life. 

As stupid as this tactic is, it's actually kind of a useful way to look at certain purchases.  One of my co-workers successfully justified his purchase of a $3000 laptop by saying that it'll last for 10 years, so really it's like $300 per year, which isn't a ton of money.  If he went with a $1500 laptop that lasted maybe 6 years, that's $250 per year, which is only $50 less than the more expensive laptop. 

The main problem with this method of viewing purchases is that the payments typically aren't spread out over time.  For blenders and laptops, the money is spent up front, so viewing it as a per-year investment is slightly misleading.  A house or a car on the other hand is usually paid for with a loan, and the payments are spread out over months and years (and decades -- hooray mortgages!), so comparing payments makes sense.  In the end, it's all just a mind game that helps fickle consumers justify their expenses.  If I can work the numbers right, I'll be able to justify the purchase of a Palm Pre.  Work with me, Excel! #business

I have mixed feelings about person-to-person sales things like PartyLite, Tastefully Simple, and others.  On the one hand, the products are similar to things you'd find in a store, but they're usually better or different in some way.  I'm not all that into candles so I can't say much about PartyLite, but I can say from experience that the Tastefully Simple party that took place at my house a few months ago was the best female-centric food-eating sales event I've ever witnessed. 

But on the other hand, the thought keeps coming to my mind, if I wanted to buy something, I'd be at a store.  I'm very skeptical when it comes to salespeople because I know all they're doing is trying to make money.  Why else would you come to my house and try to sell me kitchen gadgets?  Because you're so convinced of their amazingness that you just have to spread the word?  No, it's because you got roped into some pyramid scheme where you're trying your best to make a buck by selling things to uninterested people who don't want your products.  To be fair, we use a PartyLite candle at least once a week, and the food we've gotten from Tastefully Simple has been the centerpiece of quite a few social engagements.  But seriously I could've probably gotten similar things at a store. 

Then there's the whole issue of helping a friend out by buying things from the company they represent, which I'm all for, but where do I draw the line?  If every one of my friends worked for some person-to-person sales company, would I buy all my unnecessary, overpriced novelty foods and gizmos from them?  Where would it end? #business

The mayor of Toledo, Ohio just got into the lawn mowing business: 

"Budget cuts mean Toledo has hired fewer seasonal workers to keep its parks tidy, so Mayor Carty Finkbeiner was out with a mower doing the job Saturday at a park near his home.  About 10 city administrative employees joined him, on their own time."

Gotta respect a person who does a job they're not paid to do.  Although, honestly, give me a weed whacker, and I'll pay you for the privilege. #business

I was in a meeting earlier today where a guy (a lawyer -- not sure if that matters or not) was writing things in a lined notebook, and he was completely ignoring the lines.  As a COCN (Certified Obsessive Compulsive Nerd), I had to try hard not to freak out.  I mean this guy was writing too big to fit in between the horizontal lines, and then he would skip lines and start writing directly over top another horizontal line.  And those vertical lines on the left side?  Totally ignored them, like he was some kind of big shot or something.  I almost lost it.  Why have lines on paper if you're not gonna use them? #business

It's weird how much of an incentive free shipping is.  I'll jump through hoops and sometimes pay more for a product, as long as the overall cost is less because of free shipping.  And what I recently discovered is that it works from a merchant's perspective as well.  I just sold something on eBay and selected the option that said I was willing to ship it for free.  Even though I didn't offer it for a great price, the product sold quickly, and I have a feeling free shipping made the difference.  It's funny because the shipping cost often isn't a significant percentage of the overall cost.  And that percentage decreases as the price of the object increases.  Of course, nothing is actually free, so the shipping cost is simply factored into the item's price.  But as consumers, we ignore this glaring fact, and we search for and readily purchase things that can be shipped for free. #business