One of my former boss's boss's bosses was a VP of something, so he wore a tie to work.  I casually asked him if there was an official dress code, i.e. do I have to wear a tie, too?  He said he didn't realize he was even wearing a tie.  He gets up in the morning, drives to work, and magically has clothes on which include a tie.  His morning routine was so automatic that he essentially had no control over what he did, which was fine because he always ended up wearing a tie. 

I feel the same some mornings when I'm about halfway to work, look down and realize, hey how about that, I remembered to clip my ID to my pants, and oh right, I remembered to put on pants.  I have no recollection of assembling myself, but somehow it got done, which is good because otherwise it would be a little awkward. #business

Certain organizations can be grouped together and made to sound more nefarious than they might actually be.  There's Big Government, which takes all our money and gives it to someone else; Big Oil corrupts poor people in foreign countries, then pollutes the ocean; Big Pharma charges us too much for life-saving drugs that eventually make our limbs fall off.  There are some lesser-known "Big" groups too.  Big Agra genetically modifies our food and uses too many pesticides; Big Chema makes all the pesticides, as well as all the plastics that crowd our landfills; Big Corn over-saturates the market with cheap products that make us fat.  It's funny when you use this same methodology to describe otherwise normal groups.  Big Candy is out to trick us into eating sugar-free treats that are still bad for us; Big Toy wants to get kids hooked on games early so they'll transition nicely to consumers of Big Video Game; Big Tech keeps making cell phones with crappy cameras and computers with not enough hard drive space so that we'll be forced to buy more Big Tech. #business

I saw a lady with a Mercedes S500 the other day at Walmart.  That particular car goes for somewhere north of $80,000 (actually probably north of $90,000, but honestly once you go above $50,000, it's all the same to me).  Walmart is the merchant of the common man, i.e. they sell cheap things to cheap people (and I'm a frequent customer).  They sell some expensive things like TVs and jewelry, but they generally stick to mass-produced, widely-available consumer goods.  I understand the idea that rich people have to shop somewhere, but I can't help but think there's a bit of a discrepancy there.  This lady was willing to spend a good annual salary on a car, but she still felt the need to save $0.15 on laundry detergent?  Perhaps she can afford a luxury car because she's a penny pincher in every other area of life.  But that explanation makes me like her even less. #business

Sometimes when a person has been working for quite a number of years, the money they could be collecting from their 401k, pension, and social security add up to more than their current income.  Thus, they're working for free.  Or more accurately, they're losing money by working.  This doesn't happen all that often, and it seems to only happen to people who aren't capable of appreciating the situation and finally retiring.  They could actually be making more money by doing less, yet they continue working because they have nothing else to do.  There's not a snowball's chance in hell I'll ever be in this "predicament." #business

I like being rewarded for things I already do.  I've been getting my car's oil changed at the same place for several years now, and a few months ago they introduced a loyalty program that makes every seventh oil change free.  I don't have to do anything different aside from remembering to have them punch a hole in my loyalty card.  I save money by doing pretty much nothing. 

The same thing happened at our local pet food store.  We've been buying a certain type of cat food for a little while, and one day a message showed up on our receipt that said we only needed to buy this cat food a few more times before we got a free bag of it.  We were going to continue buying it anyway, but it's nice to be rewarded for doing nothing. #business

The ranch veggie dip I sometimes buy comes in two types of containers:  One large container, or a package of four small containers.  The large container is obviously the better buy; you get more product for less money, and it uses less packaging (the small containers are held together with cardboard).  This is the container I've bought on multiple occasions for hosting small gatherings.  But since most small gatherings don't consume an entire container (i.e. tub) of ranch veggie dip, that container goes in the fridge temporarily, where it sits for a week or two until it goes bad and is thrown out.  The package of four small containers, on the other hand, can be used one small container at a time.  It turns out a small container of ranch veggie dip is pretty much exactly how much ranch veggie dip is consumed at a small gathering.  And since each of those small containers costs less than one large container, it's like you're really buying four separate large containers but for less money, and without all the leftover product at the end that ends up in the trash anyway. 

What this is illustrating is that it's not always a good idea to get the most product for your money.  Sometimes it's better to pay more for less, depending on how much you plan to use and how quickly you'll be able to use it before it goes bad.  For things like frozen or canned foods, the best investment is probably the lowest price for the largest amount, because these products have a pretty long shelf life.  But for things with a short shelf life like ranch, mayo, milk ... ok pretty much all dairy products, the best investment is for the amount you can consume before it goes bad.  Otherwise you're just paying for wasted product. #business

Let's say I schedule a meeting from 2-3pm.  Let's say you're running late.  Unless your presence was specifically requested or you have a significant contribution to make, I'd say the latest you should show up is when the meeting is 75% over, which in this case is 2:45pm.  After that, it's completely pointless for you to be there, and in most cases your presence will be an unwelcome disruption at an inconvenient time (attention spans seem to hover around 30-40 minutes).  And under no circumstance should you be like a colleague of mine and show up exactly when the meeting ends.  Some people's actions defy all logic. #business

A woman Wendy works with (ding ding ding -- that's four W's in a row!) scheduled a meeting for Friday at 7am.  Here are the reasons why this woman should be fired and/or have her kneecaps broken: 

1. It's Friday.  Fridays are light days.  You don't start anything new.  You don't tackle any big problems.  Because when it comes down to it, it can wait until Monday.  Everything can wait until Monday.  Even your precious meeting.
2. It's Friday morning.  Sometimes Thursday night is party night.  Sometimes you get to work a little late because you decided to get the no-fat non-soy mocha dunka chino thing instead of your normal coffee.  Either way, Friday mornings are a little slower, because let's face it, it's Friday.
3. It's Friday morning at 7am.  Unless you work in a factory or commute to work before rush hour, work doesn't start until at least 8 or 9.  And even though you want to pat yourself on the back because you get there by 6:30, no one else does, and they certainly don't want to start their day with a stupid meeting.

It's weird how angry I am at this woman I've never met whose meeting had absolutely no effect on me.  It's the principle. #business

I get my car washed at this place near my house for $7.75.  I've determined that paying this small price is infinitely better than doing it myself, thus avoiding an hour of wasted time, wet clothes, and a poor wash job*.  But I only go about once a month, and even less frequently during the winter when road salt makes car-washing pointless.  So I have an idea I'm thinking about pitching to my car washer:  Offer a monthly membership program where customers can pay $10 a month to get their cars washed twice a month.  Customers could pay six months or a year up front, that way there's guaranteed income right off the bat.  And it's more income than you'd otherwise get from infrequent car-washers like me.  And it would benefit me because I would be near the place and think well, I already paid for it, so I might as well get my car washed.  Win-win. 

*Plus, Wendy says they most likely have some sort of purification process in place before they dump the waste water in the drain since it's a requirement of all businesses with heavy water usage, unlike my "system" which simply lets the waste water seep back into the ground.  Win-win-win? #business

One of the selling points I've been hearing more and more in car commercials is the idea of miles between fill-ups, which is a misleading way to sell a car.  Miles per gallon is at least a measure of engine efficiency.  Miles per fill-up is simply a measure of gas tank volume.  My car happens to have an 18-gallon tank, so I could potentially go about 500 miles between fill-ups.  But it doesn't mean it's more efficient or less gas-guzzling than a compact or a hybrid.  I guess it's all about the laziness factor. #business