Celebrity schools Jan 7, 2008
Grade schools, middle schools, and high schools are usually named after someone important.  John F. Kennedy.  Martin Luther King.  Buzz Aldrin.  If not a famous historical person, the school will often be named after its founder, who's usually a philanthropic educationally-minded person. 

Not so for the public school district of East Orange, New Jersey.  Of its many excellent (and by excellent, I mean awful) schools, the following three stand out to me: 
  1. Whitney E. Houston Academy
  2. Dionne Warwick Institute
  3. Johnnie L. Cochran Junior Academy
What better role models for our children than a druggie husband-abuser, a delinquent taxpayer, and a Hollywood lawyer.  God bless the children of East Orange. #education
Half-Life 2 Jan 4, 2008
Half-Life 2 is an amazingly cool game.  There are so many different modes of play, and the physical environment constantly changes.  The story behind the game (for people like me who have a hard time following plot lines) is incredibly in-depth and interesting.  Wikipedia refers to it as "Half-Life canon".  I was addicted to this game for most of the month of December, and the vividness of the graphics and storyline haunted me for hours after playing.  I'd say to Wendy, "I have to kill the zombies with a shotgun because otherwise the head crabs are still alive and will come after me."  Weird, frightening, yes.  But awesome. #entertainment
Chick-fil-A meh (2) Jan 4, 2008
The verdict is in on Chick-fil-A:  It's not that good.  I received a few recommendations from southerners, and I was further attracted by the fact that they sponsor a bowl game.  But really, saying this place is special or any different from other fast food places is ridiculous.  I'd say the only reason it's found such a warm spot in the heart of many displaced southerners is that Chick-fil-A's are only found in the south, so going to them reminds you of home.  Other than that it's just a typical fast food place, but instead of beef, everything's made of chicken.  Big deal.  To be fair, I got a chicken wrap, and it wasn't too bad.  But I could tell as soon as I walked into the place that it wasn't going to be what I expected. #food
Pet progression (17) Jan 3, 2008
In order to prepare for having children, I think it's a good idea to practice with pets.  The order should go like this: 
  1. Fish
  2. Rodent
  3. Cat
  4. Dog
  5. Human
Each animal requires more responsibility and a bigger financial and time commitment.  Fish are easy.  They just swim around in their bowl.  The only care they really need is daily food and weekly fresh water.  But you can buy an automatic feeder, which essentially reduces your commitment to a weekly water swap.  Not bad. 

Rodents are a little more complicated because their waste products don't float away like a fish's.  So we're talking about a daily feeding and a weekly cage cleaning.  Easy.  And of course there's the automatic feeder option. 

Cats can do one more thing than fish and rodents:  Puke.  In addition to daily feeding (or an automatic feeder) and bi-weekly litter box cleaning, there's the occasional hairball cleanup or "I puke when I get excited" responsibility.  Not pretty. 

Dogs can do one more thing than cats, rodents, and fish:  Make an unbelievable amount of noise for no reason at all.  Also, dogs will eat until they die, so an automatic feeder is out of the question.  Some additional "benefits" of dog ownership:  Dogs need to be walked; dogs slobber; dogs stink; dogs stick their noses in your crotch; dogs stick their tongues in my ear.  I don't like dogs. 

Humans (a.k.a. babies) are the sum of the worst traits of each animal:  They require daily feeding (and not just once or twice a day like an animal).  They puke, often for no reason at all.  They make an unbelievable amount of noise for no reason at all.  Humans need one more thing which dogs, cats, rodents, and fish don't:  Attention/affection.  Otherwise you'll have therapy bills in the future. 

For the record, Wendy and I both had rodents when we were kids.  We had a fish when we were first married, but he went to a better place.  We have two cats.  We're planning on skipping the dog phase because I can't stand dogs.  The next move is to get a real live human.  Someday. #nature
Changed opinions Jan 3, 2008
Sometimes, my opinion on a certain topic will change because of information introduced by a trusted third party.  For example, I respect my dad's knowledge of money, so if he tells me it's a good idea to do a certain thing with my money, I'll likely follow his advice.  It's the same with my sister and parenting.  She probably wouldn't actually give advice, but my opinion on parenting changes as I watch her with her kids. 

However, sometimes my opinion on a certain topic won't change regardless of information introduced by a trusted third party, largely because my opinion on the topic is stronger than my trust in that person.  For example, my opinion on drunk driving is that you shouldn't even take a chance.  I'm usually more careful than I legally need to be, but I'd rather be careful than lose my license.  So if a person I respect drinks and drives, my opinion on the topic doesn't change.  Instead, my opinion of the person changes. #psychology
Grossest thing I ever ate Jan 2, 2008
I'd like to pass along the story of the grossest thing I ever ate, which is likely the most disgusting food product ever conceived by man.  The funny thing is that (a) this happened only about a month ago and (b) it wasn't a foreign food.  It happened at the house of a family member on Thanksgiving.  I'm sorry to that family member if they read this or to anyone who thought this food was good.  You're weird, but you're entitled to your opinion. 

The food in question was a cookie.  Or at least it looked like a cookie.  I think it even had frosting.  It was about 1-inch by 2-inches and light brown in color.  Just to quell any rumors before they start:  It wasn't animal or human excrement, nor was it animal food or treats.  It was on a tray with other identical objects on the kitchen counter.  So there. 

I was hungry after the main meal, and the cookies appeared to be the only dessert option.  I happened to be in the kitchen by myself, so I snagged a cookie before anybody could ask me if I needed anything (they're very hospitable people) or describe to me what exactly was in this dessert.  I immediately noticed how cold the cookie was, which isn't what I expected.  I also noticed that it was mushy instead of firm like a normal cookie.  At this point, I should've just cut my losses and put the cookie back on the tray.  But like a dog returning to its vomit, I put the cookie in my mouth (whole) and chewed.  I had to make a concerted effort not to puke.  The cookie basically "popped" in my mouth and released some sort of unidentifiable liquid.  The cookie itself was really mushy and gross, like the stuff left at the bottom of a cup of hot chocolate after you dip stuff in it.  I chewed on this mushy cookie agglomeration for what seemed like an eternity, hoping no one would walk into the room and notice my painful, disgusting eating experience.  Eventually, the whole mess slid down my throat, where my body likely said, "What the heck is this?" and passed it on through to a better place. 

I can still imagine that cookie in my mouth.  It gives me the chills. #food
Shopping after Christmas Jan 2, 2008
As much as I despise the "holiday season" with its obsessive consumerism and thoughtless waste (I sound like a hippie), I certainly enjoy me some post-Christmas shopping.  For whatever reason, stores are just trying to get rid of stuff, and that equates to good deals for me.  And free shipping.  Cha-ching! #business
Misleading game title Jan 2, 2008
Most misleading game title ever:  Travel Trivia Challenge.  It's not travel size, it's about travel.  Boo. #products
Celebrity gossip Jan 1, 2008
Celebrity gossip may very well be the lowest form of human conversation.  There.  I said it. #psychology