I'd like to pass along the story of the grossest thing I ever ate, which is likely the most disgusting food product ever conceived by man.  The funny thing is that (a) this happened only about a month ago and (b) it wasn't a foreign food.  It happened at the house of a family member on Thanksgiving.  I'm sorry to that family member if they read this or to anyone who thought this food was good.  You're weird, but you're entitled to your opinion. 

The food in question was a cookie.  Or at least it looked like a cookie.  I think it even had frosting.  It was about 1-inch by 2-inches and light brown in color.  Just to quell any rumors before they start:  It wasn't animal or human excrement, nor was it animal food or treats.  It was on a tray with other identical objects on the kitchen counter.  So there. 

I was hungry after the main meal, and the cookies appeared to be the only dessert option.  I happened to be in the kitchen by myself, so I snagged a cookie before anybody could ask me if I needed anything (they're very hospitable people) or describe to me what exactly was in this dessert.  I immediately noticed how cold the cookie was, which isn't what I expected.  I also noticed that it was mushy instead of firm like a normal cookie.  At this point, I should've just cut my losses and put the cookie back on the tray.  But like a dog returning to its vomit, I put the cookie in my mouth (whole) and chewed.  I had to make a concerted effort not to puke.  The cookie basically "popped" in my mouth and released some sort of unidentifiable liquid.  The cookie itself was really mushy and gross, like the stuff left at the bottom of a cup of hot chocolate after you dip stuff in it.  I chewed on this mushy cookie agglomeration for what seemed like an eternity, hoping no one would walk into the room and notice my painful, disgusting eating experience.  Eventually, the whole mess slid down my throat, where my body likely said, "What the heck is this?" and passed it on through to a better place. 

I can still imagine that cookie in my mouth.  It gives me the chills. #food