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Pharmacists (2) Wed, Oct 31, 2007
Why do pharmacists need to go to school for 6-8 years?  All they do is hand out pills.  You can train a monkey to do that.  I've heard the argument that pharmacists figure out if any new medications will react negatively with ones that are currently being taken.  You can train a monkey to do that too.  The only conceivable reason I can come up with for the existence of pharmacists is that they're older than both monkeys and minimum-wage-earning teenagers, so they're less likely to be bribed or talked into giving away the wrong drugs to the wrong person.  So basically, pharmacists exist because we need mature people to hand out our medication. #health

Mold (1) Wed, Oct 31, 2007
This is a picture of what I would assume to be mold, which is what apparently grows in plastic jugs of juice when left at room temperature for two weeks.  The "thing" is about two inches across, closely resembles a flower petal, and has the consistency of a carpet.  I hope it's not poisonous; I was thirsty (kidding). 


Halloween sluts (1) Wed, Oct 31, 2007
I like (and by like, I mean hate) how all Halloween costumes for girls consist of a standard noun preceded by the word "slutty".  We've moved on from Slutty Nurse and Slutty Maid to things that don't even make sense, like Slutty Hobo and Slutty Witch.  Today at ShopRite I saw a Slutty Pumpkin, a Slutty Farm Girl, and some other slutty thing I couldn't identify.  It would be one thing if I was a normal guy and wanted to see those things.  But I'm not normal.  I don't like seeing 16-year-old girls in skimpy clothes. 

I hope my offspring are male. #sociology