I've already come to the conclusion that mustaches are no longer acceptable in today's culture, with the one exception being men who have had mustaches since mustaches were cool.  Other than that, there's no excuse for this facial atrocity. 

When I see a guy growing a mustache, I can think of the following possible rationalizations: 
  1. "My electric razor ran out of batteries right before I could shave above my upper lip."
  2. "I got punched in the face, and it left me with a big cut above my upper lip, preventing me from shaving there."
  3. "I lost a bet."
  4. "I've given up on life."
I really can't think of any other reason a person would grow a mustache. 

Part of my hatred comes from watching the mustache-growing process in action.  Knowing a person pre-mustache and post-mustache means you were around for the intra-mustache stage.  It's a hideous thing to witness.  For a few days, it looks like they missed a spot.  You figure they'll realize how ridiculous they look and shave it off right away.  After a week or two, you notice they haven't shaved yet, and it doesn't look like they'll be shaving anytime soon.  What's funny about the intra-mustache phase is that every distinct moment in the phase is excruciating to watch.  From the first moment they have stubble, to the final moment they have a half-inch long mustache, the thing growing on their face never looks good.  And it still doesn't look good at the end.  All you can do is sit there and wonder what's going through the mind of the mustache-grower, longing for an opportunity to get home to your own bathroom and shave again just for good measure. #lifestyle