Goldfish Jun 21, 2007
I don't think I'd be this happy if I got salt in my eyes and mouth. 

#food
Clean towel day (13) Jun 20, 2007
Wendy has a system when it comes to changing our towels:  After [x] number of days, put old towels in wash and bring out new towels.  That [x] is pretty small; somewhere around 7-10.  My system is a little different:  After [y] amount of smell develops, put old towels in wash and bring out new towels.  The problem with my system is that [y] is usually much greater than [x] (actually they can't really be compared unless smell can be quantified as an integer; but you get the idea).  Sometimes [y] reaches an overwhelming value in 7 days.  Sometimes it's more like 18.  I'm thankful I have a good sense of smell that prevents me from allowing [y] to get too large.  As soon as I notice a smell on my towel, it's over.  More than likely, it means it's been about 2 months since I started using the towel, and judging from the towel's heartbeat and limb growth, it's time to use a clean one. 

The cool thing about clean towel day is that it always makes me happy.  What can I say; I'm simple.  For an unexplainable reason, it gives me a small but noticeable amount of pleasure.  It's like getting your hair cut or getting your car washed.  Clean = happy.  I wonder if this idea isn't universal.  Maybe some people equate dirtiness with happiness?  Perhaps.  But for me, I like clean things.  And since today was clean towel day, it's a good day. #psychology
Work proximity (1) Jun 20, 2007
At times, it seems like it would be cool to live really close to work.  There'd be no commute, no traffic, less wear on my car, less money on gas, a greater likelihood of riding a bike to work, etc.  I could go home for lunch, be home when the Fedex guy comes, be home when the cable guy comes.  I wouldn't need to worry about forgetting anything at home or leaving something on my desk at work. 

But I think I reconsidered based on what I saw last night.  I was playing basketball at my church and left at around 9:45pm.  On my way out, I saw the church's youth pastor running around and getting some things done after hours.  He happens to live about 200 feet from the church.  That's when it occurred to me:  If you live that close to work, there's no difference between work time and home time.  It all kind of runs together.  You go back to your office after everybody leaves to get a little work done.  You show up on Saturday or Sunday for a few hours here and there just to work without any distractions.  You forget something on your desk, so you go pick it up and get caught up helping somebody fix their computer. 

That sucks.  The way my life works right now, there's work time, and there's home time.  They're very distinct.  There's no crossover.  I've never brought work home, and I never intend to.  I spend 8-10 hours of my day at work.  After sleep, it's the activity that takes up the greatest percentage of my time.  If things don't get done during that time, oh well.  If I forget something at home, I can live without it.  If I leave something at my desk, it can wait until tomorrow.  Work just isn't important enough to invade my personal life. 

I just read this Business Week article (via Kottke) about how Best Buy's new corporate philosophy is to "demolish [the] decades-old business dogma that equates physical presence with productivity ... [and] to judge performance on output instead of hours."  This sounds like a great idea at first, especially for me, because I always feel like I could complete a 9-hour-day's work in about 1 hour.  The other 8 hours consist of corporate junk mail, meetings, performance reviews, training, and blankly staring into nothingness.  If my job was geared towards performance instead of time, I'd have a lot more time to myself.  The article goes on to talk about several high-level employees who do their work while they're at home and/or spending their time away from the office.  These people get their work done, even if it's while hunting or going to concerts. 

But I see a striking similar to the youth pastor:  With a performance-instead-of-time system, you're never not working.  You're never off the clock.  Instead of going to the office from 8-5, you're working "whenever", which to me means "all the time".  There's no difference between work and home, especially if you often work from home.  This sounds cool on the surface, but underneath, it means more work and less home time.  And that sucks. #business
Joker Roker (3) Jun 18, 2007
Here's an interesting little thing I heard about last week that I thought would gather considerable media attention, but didn't.  I'm hoping to fan the flames a little. 

Al Roker, weatherman-turned-celebrity, was quite vocal about the whole Don Imus thing. 
That said, it is time for him to go.

I, for one, am really tired of the diatribes, the "humor" at others' expense, the cruelty that passes for "funny".

Don Imus should do the right thing and resign.
Some people say it was Roker's comments that led to Imus' eventual firing (he originally had a mere 2-week suspension).  Whether or not that was a good thing, it doesn't really matter.  People have opinions.  People say things.  People misunderstand things.  People apologize.  Apologies are like band-aids on knife wounds.  These things won't change, no matter who gets fired and how much censorship exists. 

About a week ago, Roker made the following comments on the Today Show: 
Remember that controversial Olympic logo for the 2012 Olympics in London?  Some folks have complained that the campaign actually sent them into epileptic seizures.  Well, we asked you to weigh in on our Web site in an informal poll; those of you who could get up off the floor after shaking around were able to actually log in.
In other words, he made an attempt at "humor at others' expense" in the form of "cruelty that passes for funny".  Al Roker beautifully displayed a double standard.  He later apologized for it, claiming, "We understand and know that this is a serious affliction and would never joke about that."  Don Imus said he was sorry too, but he still lost his job.  Al Roker should eat his words and resign.  It's the only "right thing" to do. #entertainment
Phone mazes Jun 15, 2007
I think it's at least slightly funny* how customer service phone mazes work.  Here's a typical example: 
  1. Press 1 for billing.  Press 2 for tech support.  Press 3 for all other inquiries.  You press 2.
  2. Enter your shipping number or product code.  You enter your 29-digit number.
  3. Enter your zip code.  You enter your zip code.
  4. Say your first and last name.  You say your first and last name.
Here's what happens when a person picks up: 
  1. "Hi, this is Rajuswami Ricky from India Texas.  How can I help you today?
  2. You say, "I'm calling for tech support."
  3. They say, "Let me transfer you to tech support."
  4. Tech support says, "Can I have your 29-digit product code, your zip code, and your first and last name?"
  5. You hang up with murderous thoughts on your mind.
An obvious question arises:  Why did I do all that stuff and press all those buttons when I first called?  The not-so-obvious answer:  These systems exist for the purpose of stalling.  They don't actually provide any type of benefit.  They're like Kramer on Seinfeld:  "Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you've selected?"  All those buttons you press are like the buttons on a child's toy phone:  They don't do anything; they just have an appearance of doing something. 

And I have it on good authority that the main purpose of customer support is to get you off the phone.  The less time they spend with each person, the more people they can not help. 

*Funny obviously isn't the right word, but I couldn't think of a better one that wasn't preceded by several 4-letter words. 

Update:  This Dilbert comic says it all. #technology
Exotic cars (1) Jun 14, 2007
I'm not too impressed with cars I see on a regular basis.  I've seen Mustangs.  I've seen Camaros and Corvettes.  I've seen BMWs, Mercedes, and Porches. 

I'm most impressed/surprised when I see something like a Ferrari or a Maserati.  And not because they're cool or fast (any car can be fast, but we all have to obey the same dumb speed limits), but because they're phenomenally expensive.  Even some BMWs, Mercedes, and Porches fit in with this group.  For some reason, I would think these types of car owners would do things differently than me.  I don't expect to see these cars in the ShopRite parking lot.  I don't expect to see them stuck in traffic.  I don't expect to see them at Home Depot buying plumbing supplies because their stupid sink broke at 2 in the morning. 

But I do.  I see people driving really expensive cars doing normal everyday things.  This doesn't add up.  We're not talking expensive like $40-50,000.  Sure that's expensive, but I could find a way to afford that (by eating dog food and washing my clothes in a river).  We're talking expensive like over $100,000.  This gets back to the whole idea of value.  People will easily spend $100,000 (and much more) on a house, but on a depreciating asset whose greatest feat is its ability to illegally allow you to speed?  It's ridiculous.  So it means the people who buy and drive these cars aren't normal people like me (insert joke here).  They don't have jobs, so there's no need for them to be in traffic.  They can afford maids and servants to do their shopping for them.  And home improvement?  Ha!  Perhaps I have a fundamental misunderstanding of lavish wealth.  I was under the impression that a guy who drives a red convertible Ferrari can do whatever he wants at any time of the day.  He probably has his own zip code and lives in a house made of stone.  He should have no need to go food shopping in the middle of a Thursday.  He should have no reason to visit Dover, NJ.  So I ask you, Mr. Ferrari driver, what were you doing at the ShopRite in Dover/Wharton? #travel
Personal data analysis Jun 12, 2007
Being the geek I am, I think it would be interesting to track and analyze various things that happen throughout the day.  Google already sort of does this.  They have a history feature that lets you analyze trends such as common search terms, search results, and hourly, daily, and monthly search activity.  Google Reader has a slightly similar feature that lets you see what you read, when, and how much.  But these are Google-specific features that only track Google things.  SparkPeople is a website that lets you keep track of what food you eat, the calories and fat you take in, and how much you exercise.  Pedometers let you see how many steps you take throughout the day. 

It would be really interesting to see trends for seemingly insignificant little details like how much radiation I get from my cell phone, what chemicals I come in contact with on a daily basis and in what quantities, and which words I miss in Super Text Twist.  Patterns and trends can reveal a lot.  Each individual event is somewhat random and doesn't carry much weight.  But over time, most actions develop patterns, and it's interesting to see these patterns in an organized way such as with respect to time, location, age, etc. 

The problem, as with all data logging, is that it needs to be logged.  That's the hard part.  Nobody wants to sit around and manually enter every calorie they eat throughout the day, or every cell phone interaction they make.  If this stuff was automated, it would be a lot easier and less time-consuming.  Plus, it would take the human aspect out of it.  When I used SparkPeople, I was actually keeping track of what I ate, the specific quantities, and how much of which nutrients were in each quantity.  I didn't eat some things because I didn't want to go through the hassle of entering them on the website.  But if this kind of thing was tracked automatically, I would live my life as normal and not curb things cased on the amount of difficulty they would cause. #psychology
Keys (4) Jun 12, 2007
I think at this point in the technological revolution, we should no longer be using keys.  When was the last time a key was actually beneficial?  "Gosh, I'm glad I'm carrying this pointy metal object in my pocket where it can cause mortal damage and possible death!"  It's more like, "Whoops, I locked my keys in my car!" or "I locked myself out of my house ... again!" 

My building at work has a pretty simple yet effective system:  An electronic keypad.  I know these were available on vehicles about 10 years ago, but the fad never really caught on.  For some reason, people feel more comfortable carrying a pointy metal object and/or a bulky rectangular plastic thing.  And this same device is available on garage door openers, but for whatever reason, it never spread to the front door.  I can really only think of 3 reasons it didn't become popular: 
  1. Security.  People think it's easy to guess a numerical code.  The keypad at work has 10 digits, and each entry code is 5 digits long.  That means there are 105 = 100,000 possible codes.  And while that's not an astronomically large number, if a person was willing to try 100,000 different codes to break into your house, I'd say let 'em; they deserve to get in.
  2. Reliability.  What happens if your power goes out and you need to get into your house?  This is an excellent point, but I have an excellent counterpoint:  When was the last time you tried to get into your house when the power was out?  I can think of exactly zero times this has ever happened in the history of mankind.
  3. Convenience.  This is really the only good argument.  It's more convenient to push a button on your key chain as you're walking to your car than to wait until you get to your car to type in a code.  I don't have a counterpoint to this, except maybe to use a fingerprint scanner on the door handle.
And that brings me to my next point.  My laptop has a pretty cool security feature:  Logging in with a fingerprint reader.  I don't have to carry anything around (except ... ya know ... my fingers) and I don't have to memorize a code.  There's literally no way this device can fail or mess up, as long as its scanning ability is up to par.  One argument is that all a thief would need to do is kidnap you, knock you out, and use your finger against your will.  To that I say this:  (a) A thief could do that with a key just as easily, and (b) most theft is non-violent these days.  There isn't much money to be gained in stealing 5-year-old cars and laptops.  Theft these days is more about identity and credit.  But anyway, it amazes me that the simple technology used to logon to my computer hasn't also been utilized to unlock my car and my house.  C'mon Bill Gates and Steve Jobs!  Where's Windows Vista Door Edition or the iKey? #technology
Recent driving annoyances (1) Jun 11, 2007
When you're out of things to say, go back to basics.  I'd say driving, travel, and social interaction provide the most material for this website, so here it goes: 

Two things have recently made me mad while driving: 
  1. Stop light creep.  For reasons unknown and unexplainable, some people slowly decelerate at a traffic light and leave about 20 feet between themselves and the car in front of them, from which point they proceed to creep a few inches intermittently for the duration of the red light.  The reason this is annoying is at least twofold:  (a) It does absolutely nothing to "prolong brake life", "increase gas mileage", or any other supposed energy/wear savings; (b) It makes me look like an idiot.  When I stop at a stop light, I stop, usually because I don't want to have to keep looking at the car in front of me.  I look around, change the radio station, fix my comb-over, etc.  And then when I look back in front of me, there's 20 feet of open space because of the idiot in front of me.  Thanks, idiots.
  2. Delayed blinker.  People minimize the usefulness of a car's blinker.  When I'm sitting at a stop light or stop sign, waiting to make a turn, I hate having to wait for a person that's making a right turn onto the road I'm currently on.  This person is the limiting factor in this situation.  If he/she wasn't there, I could make a right, make a left, go straight, or blast off into space.  The possibilities are endless.  But waiting for that person coming from my left means I can't do anything until they (a) go past me or (b) turn on my road.  So it really makes me mad when the person either waits until the last minute to use their turn signal or doesn't even use it at all.  Surely they see me sitting at the intersection.  Surely they know they have the ability to decrease the time I wait there.
  3. Residential traffic.  I live in a residential community.  There's no such thing as thru-traffic.  There are houses in every direction, and most houses come with 6-10 cars (this may be an exaggeration).  The problem with these tiny streets is that not only do they lack street signs (not that big of a deal), they lack stop signs (a slightly bigger deal).  Most people stop at road intersections either because they remember when there used to be a stop sign, or simply because they're not stupid.  But a frighteningly large number of people come to a quasi-stop, look one way, then go.  This would be fine if traffic moved one way or you were willing to lose your life while making a turn.  The problem is that traffic goes both ways, so these people never see me when I'm coming and they pull out in front of me and experience the wrath of my angry yet slightly wimpy horn.  And since I'm not the center of the universe, I'm forced to assume this doesn't only happen to me.  It must happen all the time, to all kinds of people.
#travel
Dwindle Jun 11, 2007
I think I'm running out of things to say.  My "mission statement" has been to write things until I had nothing left to say.  It appears that I'm almost there.  The vast majority of my opinions and commentary have been thoroughly and needlessly documented on this website for the past few years, and it looks like I'm nearing the end.  We'll see what happens. 

Update (2007-08-22 8:52am):  I apparently changed my mind.  There's still a few things left in my brain.  Once again, I'll continue writing until I have nothing left to say ... which may be tomorrow ... but probably won't be for a while. #psychology