I'm not usually up to date with what's going on in the world, and it's because of things like this:  Don Imus, the guy who came up with the phrase "a face made for radio", called the Rutgers women's basketball team a bunch of nappy-headed hoes.  I wouldn't normally even notice a "national event" like this, but it's impossible to ignore.  It's the breaking story on every major news network, and it's even permeated the seedy underbelly of morning shock jock talk radio.  Each day brings a new aspect of the story to light, and it's an absolutely exhilarating story to be a part of.  Not really. 

I have some advice for the old Don-ster:  Blame it on the movie Happy Feet.  One of the major songs in the movie about a dancing penguin was Stevie Wonder's "I Wish", which tells the story of when Stevie was a "little nappy-headed boy".  Happy Feet probably made some good money at the box office, so now would be a great time to capitalize on your offense with an easy lawsuit.  Man, I'm a genius. #entertainment