Loser talk (2) Jan 26, 2007
When somebody loses at something, people often say nice things to cheer them up.  That's called loser talk.  Here are my favorite examples: 
  1. Everyone's a winner.
  2. All that matters is that you had fun.
  3. You did your best; that's all anyone could ask for.
  4. Try again next time.
  5. You can't win 'em all.
  6. It's just a game.
As a kid, loser talk was essential.  I needed to be reassured and comforted when I lost, which happened quite often.  But now that I'm old and cynical, I like to point out loser talk when I hear it.  Whenever I play card or board games with groups of people, I usually lose.  About 90% of the time, somebody who also lost will make some sort of even-the-playing-field statement and conclude it with "Everyone's a winner!"  I instantly quip, "That's loser talk", effectively bringing everyone down to my level.  But eh, it's just a game. #psychology
Dirtiness threshold Jan 26, 2007
Different people have different dirtiness thresholds.  Some people are neat freaks and must habitually clean.  Some people are allergic to dust, so it's in their best interest to have a clean living space.  But other people have chronically dirty houses, and they're completely ok with that.  When a person with a low dirtiness threshold (LDT) visits the home of a person with a high dirtiness threshold (HDT), feelings of disgust and judgmental reactions follow.  The LDT thinks, "How can a person even live in this squalid pit?"  Meanwhile, the HDT thinks, "Meh, things are looking pretty good around here."  In all honesty, people that continually live in filth are more likely to live longer, healthier lives simply because their immune systems have been built up for so long that they can handle just about anything that comes their way.  Or at least that's what they think. 

My dirtiness threshold is somewhere between low and medium, but it constantly fluctuates.  I like being clean and living in clean conditions.  But at the same time, there's just so much kitty litter and cat hair I can clean up before I start to ignore its accumulation on my couch and bed.  So I gradually lower my standards.  Instead of cleaning the counter and the floor in the kitchen, I simply clean the counter and put the remnants on the floor.  Hey, one clean thing is better than none, right?  And most times, the decision to clean comes down to a battle between laziness and my dirtiness threshold.  Sure my threshold is a 3/10 and the current dirtiness level is a 6/10, but I just want to sit around on the couch and do nothing sometimes.  I'll clean later. #psychology
Previous vs. next Jan 26, 2007
A blog is defined as "a user-generated website where entries are made in journal style and displayed in a reverse chronological order."  The "reverse chronological order" part is what I want to discuss.  Most blogs have links for "previous" and "next" entries because they only display about 10 entries per page.  Most blogging software comes with a function that creates these links for you.  WordPress, for example, has a function called posts_nav_link which does exactly that.  My issue comes in with the default settings of this function.  By default, the link to the previous page goes to the page after the current page (goes to 2 if current page is 1), which contains the entries that were written chronologically before the entries on the current page.  It's the opposite with the link to the next page.  I personally use the function in the opposite manner for the simple reason that it doesn't really make sense to me.  Why would the "previous page" be a higher page number?  I like to treat it like a book, even though the events happen backwards.  I start on page 1.  Next, I go to page 2, and so on.  So even though "next" goes to earlier entries, it technically goes to the "next numbered" page.  I guess it all depends on whether "next" refers to page number or entry date.  For me, it refers to page number.  I think I'm the only one. 

Update:  I changed my mind and my methodology. #technology
Feline discontentment (1) Jan 26, 2007
I've been a cat owner (or more accurately, I've been owned by cats) for quite a few years now (I think I'm around 2 or 3 in this picture), and I really feel like we humans can learn a lot about life by observing these curious little creatures. 

Today's lesson is about contentment.  There's something is us that makes us always want something better than what we currently have, but sometimes we just need to accept what we have and deal with it.  Sometimes we can even learn to enjoy what we have.  I don't mind taking the backroads to work; it gives me a chance to enjoy nature.  Electric heat was a major downside when buying our house; now I actually like it. 

The most important thing I've learned by observing cats is that it's really stupid to be discontent, especially about the little things.  Here are a few examples: 
  1. Like most pets, our cats eat from a little plastic dish on the floor.  But more accurately, they take the food out of the dish, put it on the floor, and eat it off the floor.  This is a pattern I've noticed with all cats.  They hate anything that's meant to help them.  They hate being clean.  They want to eat their dirty food off the dirty ground.  The dirtier the better.  Little jerks.
  2. Similarly, ours cats drink water from a water dish.  It's cleaned and refilled regularly and provides hydration for their little bodies.  But I've always noticed that cats will take any opportunity possible to drink water from places other than their own water dish.  They'll drink out of the shower, the sink, the toilet, mud puddles.  Basically, anything other than the dish that was specifically bought, cleaned, and prepared for them.  Little jerks.
  3. Everybody knows cats hate water.  When our cats were little, I used to "bathe" them in the bathtub, which usually consisted of 2-3 minutes of intense struggling as I splashed water on their backs and tried to avoid lethal scratch wounds.  Four legs pointing in every direction, trying to get to dry ground, tail flailing, teeth gnashing.  I was always amazed at how much fight came from a 6-lb animal.  But if there was ever any opportunity for the cats to go in the shower on their own, they'd take it in a heartbeat.  "My paws are getting wet?  I don't care.  I'm doing it to myself."  Little jerks.
  4. Like every cat owner, I've had to take the cats to the vet on occasion.  Kitty carriers were obviously designed by dog owners because no cat will ever allow itself to be placed inside an enclosed area with a small opening.  Four legs pointing in every direction, trying to get the heck out of there.  But a little trick I learned was to put the kitty carrier on the floor, leave the door open, and walk away.  "Curiosity killed the cat", or more accurately, "Curiosity made the cat go in the kitty carrier on its own".  It's the same with laundry.  Every time we do laundry, Dilbert climbs in the basket and slithers underneath the warm clothes.  But God forbid I put him in the basket without his permission.  He'll jump on my face and bite my jugular.
  5. Like all cat owners, I occasionally like to torment my cats by putting things on them, such as hats, clothes, or plastic bags.  Cats hate everything.  They know you're laughing at them, so they hate you and plot to kill you while you're sleeping (but then they forget because they sleep through the night).  But if a cat puts something on itself, all bets are off.  They love it, simply because they did it and you didn't.
All these examples are of cats being discontent simply because they weren't in control of the situation.  If a human does it to them, whether with good or bad motives, biting and scratching will ensue.  But if the cat thinks of it or plans it, it's all good.  The conclusion is simple:  Be content with what's given to you because it's probably what you'd try to get anyway.  And don't bite the hand that feeds you.  Seriously, Dilbert, stop biting me. #nature
Calculated Jan 26, 2007
I work with several people who have a tendency to be extremely calculated in their actions and words.  They're usually a little slow and weird, but it's only because their mental filter is working at 100% capacity all the time.  They're known to be reliable, go-to people with great problem solving ability.  When you have a question about something at work, you go to these people to show you the solution.  Their answer usually has nothing to do with the problem, but everything to do with the method.  These people are painstakingly careful and observant with the little things, which makes them both loved and hated at the same time.  This is a quality I strive for. #psychology
The Muffin Incident Jan 25, 2007
When I got home from work yesterday, I was greeted with the most recent cat-produced disaster, hereafter referred to as "The Muffin Incident".  Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera, so I wasn't able to reproduce photographic evidence of the offense.  But basically, it was exactly like The Marshmallow Incident but with blueberry muffins.  The scene I came home to was one of a ripped open plastic bag, half-eaten muffins strewn about the floor, and little blue bits flung all over the place.  Based on my observation of my cats' eating patterns, the blue bits are most likely the result of them (let's be honest, it was Dilbert) taking a bite of something, realizing it's gross, and shaking their head to make the undesirable food item fall out.  I find it at least slightly odd that the cats continue to eat something even after they realize it contains something they don't like.  But hey, whatever.  Cats are stupid crazy.  The most frightening part about this incident was that I thought the bag of muffins was originally placed on top of the refrigerator for safekeeping (i.e. cat-proofing).  So if the cats can get up on the fridge, what other out-of-reach places can they get to?  It turns out the muffins were actually on the kitchen table, which came as a much-needed relief. #food
Ray gun Jan 25, 2007
The U.S. military has a new weapon:  An "active denial system" that "shoots a beam that makes people feel as if they are about to catch fire."  That makes me smile.  This "ray gun" uses a form of microwave radiation called electromagnetic millimeter waves that are capable of penetrating a very thin layer of human skin.  The penetration heats the skin up to about 130°F, making it extremely uncomfortable but completely non-lethal and non-injurious.  God bless America.  (via Mental Floss) #science
Overheard Jan 25, 2007
5 things I like to be forced to overhear people doing: 
  1. Complaining about work, life, family, money, stress, etc.
  2. Burping, farting, or other bodily functions not followed by laughter.
  3. Talking about personal and medical problems like weight loss, relationships, bunions, menopause, OBGYN, urology, stones, etc.
  4. Spouting out misinformed and uneducated opinions about politics, religion, movies, music, etc.
  5. Nose-blowing, throat-clearing, loogie-hocking, or any other mucus-related activity.
#psychology
Reply-all kill switch Jan 25, 2007
Every few months at work, we have some sort of reply-all problem.  It usually goes something like this: 
Person 1:  (Addressed to all) I'm looking for information about this stupid thing that only I care about.
Person 2:  (Replying to all) I have that information.  Let's talk. 
Person 1:  (Replying to all) Thanks. 
Person 3:  (Replying to all) How can I be removed from this mailing list?
Person 4:  (Replying to all) You have to contact the computer people.
Person 5:  (Replying to all) Stop replying to all. 
Person 6:  (Replying to all) Please remove me from this mailing list. 
Person 7:  (Replying to all) Please, everyone, stop replying to all. 
I've seen these conversations escalate to involve upwards of 20 or 30 people angrily being asked to be removed from the list, all the while another 20 or 30 people keep reminding everyone to stop replying to all.  It's a downward spiral, and people get madder and more insistent upon each new email received. 

Since our email is server based (i.e. doesn't reside on our local PCs), it seems there should be a simple solution to this:  A reply-all kill switch.  When a reply-all conversation gets out of hand, the email server gods should be able to simply delete the non-essential emails from the server, which would instantaneously delete all related emails from everyone's inbox.  Or, the email server gods should be able to simply block all email with a certain subject (RE: Info about stupid thing) and/or certain recipients (All).  Since email has effectively devolved into the biggest timesuck for any organization's workforce, this little hack would make everyone's lives a little better.  Especially mine. #technology
Onion sports Jan 25, 2007
The Onion's sports section is hilarious.  Recent football headlines include: 
Peyton Manning Looking Forward To Ninth Annual Super-Bowl-Watching Party (#)

Bill Parcells: 'I've Always Hated Football' (#)

Americans Wondering What They Did To Deserve This Much Joe Buck (#)

Bears Lead Rex Grossman To Super Bowl (#)
Reminder:  The Onion is a fake news site. #sports