ReviewMe Nov 13, 2006
ReviewMe is the new kid on the block in the pay-per-something game.  For now, it's competing with PayPerPost, the site that recently won the "Leaves Worst Taste In Mouth" award.  As TechCrunch points out, ReviewMe has two major advantages over PayPerPost:  Required disclosure and honest opinions.  Every post about a ReviewMe product/website needs to be announced as a paid post.  One of the biggest criticisms about PayPerPost was that posts could look like they were unbiased when they were in fact paid.  This wouldn't necessarily change the content of the post, but some people didn't like being left in the dark.  The other big criticism was that advertisers on PayPerPost could require that a post be positive.  This essentially amounts to bribery, and it obviously left many people with a negative view of PayPerPost.  The only real requirement for ReviewMe posts is that they're 200 words or more.  At first that sounds like kind of a lot (I didn't write papers in college; I did math problems), but it turns out that 200 words are pretty easy to come up with when you have a brain oozing with nonsense. 

Another interesting thing about ReviewMe is its payment model.  Different bloggers will get paid different amounts for doing the same thing, based on each blog's "importance" according to Alexa and Technorati.  So basically, it's a popularity contest.  But that's how it works in other venues as well:  A 30-second ad during the Super Bowl will obviously cost more than a 30-second ad during a late-night infomercial.  This means that somebody like zefrank will make around $1000 per post, while somebody like me will make a few soybean seeds and be told to sell the plants to make real money. 

A final interesting thing is that ReviewMe is owned by Text Link Ads, the somewhat elitist marketer with the beautiful website.  TLA is sort of a big force on the internet; it just keeps popping up everywhere. 

This is a sponsored post. #technology
Doggie bags Nov 9, 2006
Mentioned on Real Tech News, the Puppy Purse is the best way to carry around your rodent-sized dog while simultaneously destroying your dignity.  Once again, I wish they made these things for cats.  And I wish cats would tolerate humiliation and abuse like this. 
Another awesome dog invention is the Poopsadaisy, which is a bag that fits around a dog's neck, specially made for holding dog poop.  Cleverly summed up with the phrase, "You dump it, you haul it."  Isn't that wonderful? 
(via Neatorama) #nature
Curbs Nov 8, 2006
I have a pretty horrible track record with curbs.  For some reason, they seem to be one of the biggest problems in my life. 

When I was 17, I was on my way to a Super Bowl party in my dad's car (the party wasn't in his car; his car was my means of getting to the party [most people probably didn't need that explanation]).  As I was making a right turn into a shopping center, I misjudged the size of the opening and hit a curb at 30 mph.  That's makes me sound stupid, so let me clarify:  There were two openings to the shopping center, and they were separated by a small concrete island.  Since some entrances to parking lots have a bit of a lip where the curb would normally be, I thought the two openings were one big opening with a slightly larger lip in one section.  So I hit that bad boy head on.  And the reason I was going 30 mph was because I was on a road with a pretty high speed limit and I have this obsessive compulsive fear of being in someone's way as I make a turn.  So my objective was to exit the road as quickly as possible.  And I did.  And I hit a curb.  At 30 mph.  It popped the right front tire and bent a few things in the process.  I pulled into a gas station (with the tire hissing as it lost air) and had it replaced with the spare, at which point I drove home in shame and misery. 

I bought my current car on July 10, 2004.  It was brand spanking new and shiny all over.  Exactly 2 weeks later, I drove to Pennsylvania for a party at the brother of the girlfriend of a friend's house (he's also a friend of the friend and a friend of me; hopefully that clarifies things).  As I pulled to the side of the road to park my car, I misjudged the distance between the curb and my car, and I scraped up my brand new, factory-installed plastic hub caps.  I was mortified.  I got out of the car to check the damage.  It wasn't life-threatening or vehicle-disabling, but it was ugly.  I thought, "Meh, I'll just buy new ones.  Walmart sells hub caps for like $15."  Exactly 2 years, 3 months, and 15 days later, I still haven't gotten new hub caps.  And in the process, I've scraped them at least 10 more times. 

Several months ago, I went on a company-sponsored trip to Las Vegas for a conference.  I rented my first car:  A white Chrysler Sebring convertible, the most common rental car on planet earth.  I drove to some place at night and parked in one of those parking lots with the concrete slabs (similar in size to a curb) separating the spaces.  I went into the building and eventually came out to drive home.  The parking lot was mostly empty, so I thought, "Pull-through!" and went for it.  That's when I hit the concrete slab.  It made a horrendous noise:  The same noise anything makes when it hits any part of a car.  I stopped the car and got out to check the damage.  It wasn't a big deal; I had merely driven over the slab.  The problem was that I actually got the front tires over the slab, meaning I would have to get the tires back over the slab in order to get out of there.  I got back in the car and put it in reverse.  I heard painful car-crushing sounds and found that the car was actually moving the slab instead of rolling over it.  I didn't know those things could move.  So I tried my only other option:  Pull-through!  I bull-rushed over that thing and got the car into a safe position.  I got out of the car and looked around to see if there were any witnesses (for the sake of my reputation, not for the sake of the car), and I kicked the concrete slab back into place.  The car actually didn't have any noticeable damage, so I drove away and pretended the whole thing never happened. #travel
Wrong number Nov 8, 2006
I don't fully understand how I get phone calls from people claiming they dialed the wrong number.  I can remember all two times I've done this in my entire life:  Once was last week, when a stupid lady left a mumbling message on my answering machine, causing me to hear her phone number incorrectly; and the other time was when I was 3 and didn't have complete control over my fine motor skills and accidentally pressed two buttons at once.  Other than that, I've been pretty good at dialing phone numbers.  And with the mass adoption of cell phones, people hardly ever dial numbers anymore.  They look through their phone book or sift through their recent calls.  So how do I keep getting calls from people dialing the wrong number?  If I regularly get several per month, that means other people must get around the same amount (I can't possibly be alone in this).  That means there are something like 6 billion wrong numbers called each year around the country (this estimate* doesn't account for international calls).  Good thing I have a cell phone plan that overcharges me for too many minutes.  Otherwise, I'd have to be overcharged even more. 

The other part of this I don't understand is why the people dialing the wrong number treat it like it's my fault.  I got a call at work the other day where a lady said, "Shontell?  Why you do dat?"  I said, "Sorry, I think you have the wrong number".  The lady mumbled something and hung up angrily.  Did I do something wrong?  I guess so.  It's my fault for having a number that so closely resembles Shontell's. 

*Estimate is a fancy word for "total guess" and is usually based on misinformation and false assumptions. #technology
Time budget Nov 8, 2006
On average, I spend
  • 29.2% of my time sleeping
  • 23.8% of my time at work
  • 11.9% of my time watching TV
  • 5.9% of my time driving
  • 4.2% of my time eating
  • 3.3% of my time doing church things
  • 2.4% of my time fixing/building/upkeeping things
  • 2.4% of my time getting ready in the morning
  • 1.8% of my time in class
  • 1.5% of my time cleaning
  • 1.4% of my time reading the Bible
  • 1.2% of my time buying things
That accounts for 89% of my time.  I'll assume 5% of that is calculation error, so that leaves 94% of my time accounted for.  I wonder what I do with the other 10 hours each week?  That's a lot of unaccounted-for time.  I do remember staring out the window a lot, but I didn't think it took up that much time. #psychology
Latin (1) Nov 7, 2006
I always get confused when using common Latin phrases and abbreviations, and in the interest of not appearing to be an idiot, I make an attempt at looking them up in order to use them correctly.  Here are a few from AccessAbility SIG of the Society for Technical Communication: 

i.e. - id est - that is
e.g. - exempli gratia - for example; for instance
etc. - et cetera - and so on; and other people/things #language
Long distance drive-through Nov 7, 2006
Apparently, Wendy's restaurants are currently using centralized drive-through call-in centers instead of employing drive-through operators within each store.  Studies have shown that it cuts down on wait time and allows employees in each store to concentrate on making food and collecting the money.  The example in the article said that the Wendy's in Burbank, CA was using a drive-through operator in Nashua, NH.  (via Obscure Store) #food
Jesus' math (5) Nov 7, 2006
From the Thrilling Wonder Story,
One day, Jesus said to his disciples, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x2 + 8x - 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter, "What on Earth does he mean by that?"
Peter replied, "Don't worry, it's just another one of his parabolas."
(via Digg) #religion
Elections Nov 7, 2006
Some sort of stupid election is happening right now.  I'm so uninterested, I don't even know what it's for.  Attention politicians:  I'm your unreached demographic.  I know many people like myself who are completely turned off by politics because of the mudslinging and personal bashing that goes on among candidates.  No one knows what anyone stands for; everyone knows what everyone doesn't stand for.  I saw a commercial last night where candidate #1's sole message was that no one knew what candidate #2 stood for because all #2 did was make fun of #1.  What a bunch of idiots.  Filthy, disgusting human beings. 

Since the American political system is in total disarray, I have a few suggestions that could help bring the country back to its feet (or send it further down the hole it's falling into).  The ideal election would consist of the following:   
  1. Feats of strength.  How many push-ups can you do in a minute?  How fast can you climb up a 30-foot rope?  How far can you throw a football?  These things matter more to me than medicare and social security. 
  2. Chubby bunny.  How can I be expected to vote for a person that can only fit 2-3 marshmallows in their mouth while saying "chubby bunny" clearly?  I would need a candidate that could do at least 10. 
  3. Talent show.  Everybody's got a talent.  Can you chug a beer in one gulp?  Can you juggle flaming bowling pins?  Can you do skateboard tricks?  And sorry, Bill, playing the saxophone won't pass my test. 
  4. Swimsuit competition.  Actually, no.  I really don't want to see most political candidates in swimsuits.  Instead, I think they should compete in a fashion contest.  I'd be so much more willing to vote for someone in jeans and a t-shirt than a dork in a suit. 
  5. Hand-to-hand combat.  With UFC rules:  No headbutts, no groin strikes, no hair pulling, no kicks to a downed opponent.  Gloves and mouth guard required.  Everything else goes.  I'd put my full support behind a candidate that could (a) knock a guy out or (b) submit a person with an armbar or rear naked choke.  Plus, how can I be expected to respect a political candidate who can't take a punch? 
In conclusion, I feel that these 5 tests of moral and physical character would be a much more effective way of judging a political candidate's ability to lead his/her people.  Instead of taking shots at the other candidates while standing behind their staff of personal body guards, candidates would be forced to put it all out on the line.  Instead of depending on fancy law degrees from ivy league universities, candidates would be put through a series of unrelated, inconclusive tests that would essentially produce the same outcome as a normal election.  But it would be at least slightly more entertaining. #politics
Form filling Nov 6, 2006
I can't stand filling out forms, and here's why:  No form in the history of the world has ever asked me for any new information, except the first form I ever filled out.  Every form since then has been exactly the same:  Name, address, phone, email, age, DOB, SSN, educational level, household income, etc., with some slight variations.  Being the techie geek that I am, it seems like there should be a really easy way to avoid filling out forms all together:  A central information database (CIDTM).  It's really quite simple.  All important details would be stored in a secure but easily accessible online database.  The person asking you to fill out a form doesn't really want you to write things down; all information you write down will eventually need to be entered into someone else's database anyway.  So why not skip a step and give them permission to download your information from the CID?  Plus, this would make it easier to change things when you move or get new health insurance:  Just log into the database and change your details; these details would automatically be sent to anyone who has requested them in the past and is still on your "list of accepted people who can access my information".  If security is an issue, why not use fingerprints?  My laptop has a built-in fingerprint reader that I use instead of typing in my password.  It's remarkably easy to use, and I'd imagine it's error-proof. 

I think I just invented the most useful thing in the history of the universe. #technology