Garbage water Jun 13, 2006
Garbage water is that mysterious liquid found in the bottom of garbage bags that leaks onto the floor when you take the bag out of the can.  Where does this stuff come from?  I don't throw out entire containers of liquid!  I don't dump out cups of coffee into the trashcan!  So how does it get there?  The explanation to this mystery continues to elude scientists and researchers around the globe. 

One time when I was about 11, I was riding my bike along the side of a road (not on the sidewalk because there was none).  As a garbage truck drove past me, I felt a drop of liquid hit my face.  Then all my skin melted off and spawned new little Daves, like the movie Gremlins.  Actually, it wasn't that big of a deal except that it was really gross.  I haven't ridden a bike or touched the side of a road since. 

I used to work at a McDonald's, where garbage water was king.  I used to have to take the big bags of garbage out to the dumpster.  Those bags had so much disgusting garbage water in them, they left a 50-foot trail of mystery liquid all the way from the can to the dumpster.  Disgusting. 

So the next time you think about throwing your drink in the garbage, think of that poor jerk who has to clean up after you.  You're ruining his day, his weekend, and his entire life.  Say no to garbage water! #science
Adolescent books Jun 13, 2006
Some dude made a list (via Cynical-C) of the "top 10 books about the darker side of adolescence".  I've read Lord of the Flies (his #1) and maybe Catcher in the Rye, as well as several others that didn't make the list. 

The problem with adolescent books is that schools force kids to read them.  And I don't think an adolescent can fully appreciate a book written about him/her until he/she is no longer an adolescent.  Maybe it's just me, but I developed a hatred of reading by being forced to read books I didn't understand (granted, I have a documented reading comprehension deficiency).  But when I look back on it and re-read some of the "classics", I'm amazed at how much truth and wisdom is contained in their pages.  I compared an incident in high school with the Lord of the Flies after realizing (again) that human nature has a tendency towards evil.  Some of the books I read in high school had such an amazingly clear message in them, yet their meaning and applicability were lost in the heyday of high school life, memorizing chemistry formulas, playing stupid sports, joining clubs that would "look good on my transcript", and (very infrequently) dating bimbo girls.  I wish somebody told me, "Grow up first, then read about what was happening while you were growing up.  It'll make so much more sense later.  Plus, you can't do anything to change what's bound to happen anyway." 

In conclusion, fake your way through high school, go to a big state college, and learn everything about life when you're ready and able.  My childhood was corrupted by a forceful compression of perceived knowledge. #entertainment
Zeeba neighba (5) Jun 13, 2006
Ever since I was turned on to Pearls Before Swine (thanks, Shara), I can't get enough.  I can't stop laughing at today's: 
[Image: pearls20060613.gif]
The message:  Deer Zeeba, You is valued neighba!  Thanks for being you! 

The "sublibabal" message:  Run outside!  Pour steak sauce on head!  Kill self! #entertainment
Visiting nurses (4) Jun 12, 2006
There's a sign on Route 10 in Ledgewood (actually there's one on each side of the road) near Towne Toyota and Cliff's Dairy Maid that says something so cryptic and misleading, I (and Wendy) can't for the life of me figure out what it means.  The picture below states, "Insist on visiting nurses in their 90s."  It shows a picture of a woman in her 30s-40s with a green band around her neck (signifying that she's a visiting nurse) visiting an elderly woman (supposedly in her 90s).  Does it mean I should "insist on visiting nurses [who are] in their 90s"?  Or does it mean that "[People who are in their 90s should] insist on visiting nurses"?  Whatever it means, the people in the organization sure spent a lot of money advertising a message that doesn't make sense.  I'm so confused by this sign, I sent an email to the organization.  I'll post the reply if I get one. 

#entertainment
PHP-CGI vs. PHP-Apache (2) Jun 12, 2006
This is a new topic for me, and it's slightly above my current level of understanding.  But despite that, I'll try to throw some information out there. 

Some web hosts have the option of executing PHP as CGI or executing it as an Apache module.  DreamHost has PHP-CGI enabled by default.  Despite this being "more secure", it causes some pretty major problems.  The biggest problem is that scripts keep making calls to something called "/dh/cgi-system/php.cgi".  I don't know what that is, but I know it's been mentioned on forums for WordPress, Zenphoto, Drupal, and many others.  And I've experienced this same problem when I've tried to install and setup several PHP scripts. 

I know how to "fix" it:  In the DreamHost control panel, go to Manage Domains, and edit the domain in question.  Change the PHP version from 4.4.2 to 5.1.2 (these values will probably change as DreamHost upgrades to newer versions).  As this WordPress support page says, DreamHost runs PHP 4 as CGI and PHP 5 as an Apache module.  For whatever reason, PHP running as CGI makes certain things not work.  And all I know is that running PHP as Apache makes everything work like it used to. #technology
Uncheck Default Category Jun 8, 2006
One of the most annoying things about WordPress is that the default category is always checked when writing a post, so you have to manually uncheck it when you don't want to post in that category.  I never post anything to my default category, so this is especially annoying.  I looked for a solution a while ago, but I couldn't find anything.  Enter Il Filosofo's Uncheck Default Category plugin.  It does exactly what it says by running a little JavaScript on the post-writing screen.  Brilliant, yet simple. #technology
Diet foods (8) Jun 8, 2006
Prompted by Shara's comment, I'd like to catalog my thoughts on diet foods. 

Diet soda is the work of the devil.  I hate it.  I can't understand how anyone can possibly like it.  It's disgusting, degrading, has a terrible aftertaste, and is healthy in no way, shape, or form.  Everyone laughs at the jokes about fat people ordering a Supersized Big Mac combo meal and a Diet Coke.  But it's not just fat people who are mislead by this vile substance.  It's skinny people too.  Smart people.  Health-conscious people.  People treat it like a sports drink; like they're doing themselves a favor by not drinking regular soda.  I don't know too much about artificial sweeteners, but I can't imagine they're any healthier than regular sugar.  And for that matter, I would imagine that regular soda isn't exactly healthy to begin with.  So if you're gonna put some artificially-flavored, black-colored, cocaine-derived solvent into your body, you might as well go with the Real Thing™. 

As for other diet foods, I usually stay away from things that try to be healthy.  There's no such thing as a good-tasting fat-free snack food.  Fat is what makes food taste good in the first place.  And most times when something is fat-free, it means the fat was replaced by something else, and it's usually sugar.  So which would I rather put in my body:  Fat or sugar?  It depends on how much of each.  And it depends if the fat is good fat (unsaturated) or bad fat (saturated).  What real health problem am I saving myself from when I eat Lite Cool Whip instead of regular?  A half a gram of fat?  That's not worth it.  But when it comes to something like potato chips, I'll go with Baked Lay's instead of regular Lay's any day.  But that's because they're baked instead of fried, not made with less fat. #food
Medicalization Jun 8, 2006
This Philadelphia Inquirer article is about medicalization, the term used to describe the trend of diagnosing human problems as medical conditions.  Some say it's all about pharmaceutical companies and their greedy desire to sell their overpriced drugs.  Others say that medicalization is failing to address the real issues, and it's allowing people to do whatever they want without the concept of responsibility.  I think I lean more towards the latter than the former.  (via Digg) #entertainment
Geek quote Jun 8, 2006
Geek quote of the day: 
"...the excrement encountered the rotary cooling device."
Ha! #language
Olestra (2) Jun 7, 2006
I went to Subway for lunch today and decided to get a different kind of Lay's potato chips.  I usually get the Baked ones, but a new package caught my eye:  Lay's Light.  I picked up both bags and compared ingredients and nutrition information.  Baked Lay's have a little fat; Lay's Light have none.  I didn't see any Partially Hydrogenated nonsense in the ingredients of either, so I decided to go for the Lay's Light.  As I was eating them, I flipped the bag over again to check out the ingredients one more time.  That's when I saw it:  "Ingredients:  Potatoes, Olestra, Salt..." 

Olestra is an artificial fat created by Proctor and Gamble in the 1960s.  It became widely known in 1996 when it was approved by the FDA and used in some potato chips.  The one caveat was that the potato chip bag had to include this warning from the FDA: 
This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added.
This was obviously bad news for products that contained Olestra.  Loose stools aren't a particularly desirable thing, and this awkward yet funny topic spawned countless jokes and parodies.  But in 2003, the FDA lifted the requirement for this warning label, and Lay's has since come out with their new brand of Light potato chips. 

So now that I ate the whole bag, all I can do is wait to see what happens.  The FDA removed the warning label requirement because a study was done that showed that only a small number of people experience an increase in "bowel movement frequency".  I'm hoping I'm not one of those few people. #food