Bathroom attendant (22) Sep 12, 2006
A few weeks ago, I went to a restaurant/bar that had a bathroom attendant.  This is the guy who stands near the sink in the bathroom and performs unnecessary menial tasks such as providing deodorant and cologne and handing you a towel after you wash your hands.  He also perpetuates his purpose by placing a big metal tray for tips right in the middle of the sink.  The first time I used the bathroom, I washed my hands and took the towel from him thinking, "I'm not paying this guy to give me a paper towel.  He needs to get a real job."  But the second time I used the bathroom, I felt guilty about using his services and not tipping him.  Although I'm perfectly able to operate a paper towel dispenser on my own, this guy took the liberty to do it for me.  What a guy.  So I tipped him.  Begrudgingly. 

For a little background information, please understand the role of the bathroom in the life of a male:  A bathroom is for doing your business.  That's it.  Plain and simple.  There's no socializing, no eye contact, no recognition of other human beings.  You go in, you get out.  So it was immensely uncomfortable to have to greet this dude in the bathroom, take a paper towel directly out of his hands, and thank him.  It was both mortifying and disgusting.  I saw several guys come in the bathroom, do their thing, and walk out quickly without washing their hands.  I can't blame them.  I would have done it too, but I feel bad about touching other people (like holding Wendy's hand or something) knowing I didn't wash my hands after I went to the bathroom. 

So in conclusion, I don't think bathrooms need attendants.  I think most people are fully capable of operating the various functional areas of a public bathroom without the help of a third-party dude.  And if they're not, they'll get bacteria all over their hands, spread it to all their dumb friends, and evolution will take care of the rest. #entertainment
No friends (4) Sep 12, 2006
It's true.  I have no friends.  And I had to hear it from MySpace.  Woe is me. 
MySpace also said, "To start having fun on MySpace you need to invite some friends and get the ball rolling!"  Maybe that's why MySpace isn't fun.  I need to add friends.  Or it could be that it's a hideously ugly website filled with semi-adult ads, taking the place of the mall in the 1980s-90s as the hangout for dirty teenagers with nothing to do but breathe and take up space. 

Or maybe I'm just mad because I don't have friends.  Yeah that's it. #technology
Presidential address Sep 11, 2006
I HATE when the president of our country has anything important to say during prime time television.  I can understand when a few news networks want to cover the event, because let's face it, it's usually newsworthy.  But why on earth does every friggin channel on the entire "TV dial" (old person term) need to televise this event?  Is there any reason for this?  Do people stick with their "favorite channel" and watch the stupid thing there?  Do people change the channel back and forth so that their "Nielsen household" can cast a vote across multiple networks?  No matter what the reason, it's a bunch of crap and I hate it.  I would say this makes me more mad than anything else, ever.  I can't even verbalize how mad this makes me. 

For this reason, I was unspeakably happy and excited when I remembered that Monday Night Football moved to ESPN.  ESPN is all about sports, no question asked.  Of course they wouldn't televise some stupid presidential address.  And they didn't.  And I was so happy, I completely forgot about how mad I was to begin with.  God bless football. #politics
Nine eleven Sep 11, 2006
Today is the 5th anniversary of 9-11. 

I was in the McLean building of Stevens Institute of Technology for an Engineering Design III lab when it happened.  One of the guys in my class walked out in the hall to go to the bathroom.  When he came back, he said, "A plane just hit the World Trade Center."  My professor said, "Oh yeah, and a giant gorilla is climbing up the Empire State Building."  We all walked down the hall to get a clear view across the river.  After a couple minutes, we watched as the second plane hit. 

At least two people I went to school with said they were supposed to be working in one of the towers that day but for whatever reason didn't make it into work.  One guy said he missed his alarm and overslept.  By the time he got up, the bad stuff was already happening. 

My design lab ended early because nobody could really focus, and most of the campus/area was in a mild panic.  I've never seen so many people on cell phones at one time.  I had another class or two later in the day, and I was surprised to find that one of the classes went on as if nothing happened.  That class was Gerald Rothberg's Thermodynamics.  I guess nothing can stop Thermo. 

As I walked back from class, I stopped at a few points along the river.  After a few minutes of watching smoke billow out the top of the buildings, I walked away in a daze.  Ten seconds later, I heard people scream and gasp, so I ran back to one of the viewpoints.  One of the towers had just fallen, and the dust cloud was covering much of lower Manhattan.  I spent a little while watching CNN in a public area (Jacobus), and after a little while, the second tower fell.  I remember thinking after the first one, "I can't believe an entire building just collapsed.  There's no way the other one can fall."  But it did.  I watched the second tower fall on TV, then walked outside to watch the dust cloud.  It was pretty crazy. 

I needed to get a haircut that day, and I decided to get it despite all the chaos.  I sort of felt weird/bad about it, but I rationalized that no terrorist was gonna stop me from getting a haircut.  Take that, terrorism. 

For weeks or months after this event, I (and probably most other people) would look into the sky every time I heard a plane passing overhead and think, "Great, here comes another plane crashing into another building."  But it offered at least some consolation that there were a few fighter jets flying in circles over the area at all times. #sociology
Snorers Sep 8, 2006
In my opinion, snorers should be shot.  Simple as that.  Sure, that sounds harsh.  But these people have to realize what they're dealing with:  There they are, making raucous nasal noises, enjoying their beautifully restful night of sleep while everyone else is kept awake by their horrific and incessant noise making.  It's not exactly a victimless crime.  The victim is me.  And I value my sleep.  I've been known to become angry and violent when woken up. 

What I don't understand is how snorers can lie there in peace, forcefully sucking Z's through their nose and mouth, and not wake themselves up.  It's a phenomenon that disobeys the laws of nature.  Ok, so maybe certain people can sleep through loud noises.  But what about the vibrations going through the person's nasal cavity and skull?  Shouldn't that be enough to give a person a concussion, let alone wake them up? 

While people keep me awake by snoring, I lie there and hope they choke on their spit.  I think I have every right.  They cause me discomfort and distress; I wish bad things on them.  And it's funny when my wishes comes true and snorers choke on their spit and wake themselves up.  It's also cool when snoring suddenly becomes phlegmy.  As if it wasn't enough that some jerk is keeping me awake, now I get to listen to the sound of mucous passing through the person's sinuses and running down into their throat.  It's so beautiful. 

One time, me and a friend were kept awake by another friend's snoring.  It was so unfathomably loud and ridiculous, we couldn't get to sleep because we were laughing so hard.  But then all of a sudden it stopped, and the snorer ceased to put out any more noises.  We thought he died.  After a good 20 seconds of total silence coming from his area of the room, he suddenly started back up like a stalled car in cold weather.  It was sort of a relief.  I guess I'd rather have a snorer on my hands than a dead person. #psychology
Web-based plain text editor Sep 8, 2006
For quite a while now, I've been looking around for a web-based plain text editor for use on my site.  WordPress has its own plain text editing capabilities, but they're often slow and clumsy.  Finally, I found what I was looking for:  The Sandbox.  It's a very simple, 3-file PHP script (actually just one PHP file, a CSS file, and a JS file) that displays the files within a directory and allows you to edit them in a plain text editor.  It also has other simple file functions such as rename, CHMOD, copy, and delete.  The plain text editor has an autosave feature, which is borderline amazing.  The javascript file is just for some visual fade effects, so it can be tossed out if desired (with a few small edits to the PHP file so that things continue to work).  The style sheet can obviously be integrated into the PHP file, so in the end, you could have an extremely powerful, amazingly small browser-based plain text file editor. 

But with power comes responsibility.  The best way (in my uneducated, untested opinion) to protect yourself against unauthorized attacks (people editing all your files) is with some sort of password protection script.  I tried using the one I found a while ago, but it didn't seem to work on my newer version of PHP.  So I found a different and better one.  It's simple yet effective.  Cha-ching! #technology
Firefox force tabs Sep 7, 2006
I've been using Firefox exclusively for about a year now, and I obviously utilize tabs quite a bit.  I've gotten used to having all my "browser windows" open in the same window.  That's why I get really mad when stupid sites automatically open a new window when I click on a link.  I think the choice should be left up to the end user, not the web designer.  On a whim, I remembered that Firefox has a few options for tabs (Tools -> Options -> Tabs).  I enabled the option "Force links that open new windows to open in -> a new tab".  Initially, this check box wasn't checked at all.  After I checked it, I had it set to "the same tab/window as the link", but this caused some problems like navigating away from Gmail and Bloglines (which are two tabs I keep constantly open).  After changing it to "a new tab", I get no more new Firefox windows.  Problem solved. #technology
Energy bars Sep 6, 2006
Energy bars are my main food source while hiking.  But after eating them for a few days (heck, after eating just one), I'm sick of them.  I'd rather starve to death than eat another one.  The only reason I keep eating them is because I'm convinced they have some sort of chemical/biological/physiological impact on my energy and stamina. 

As I endlessly walk through the wilderness, I tend to think a lot.  Without fail, I always end up focusing on food.  And I wonder, "Why don't I like energy bars?"  I think I found the answer:  They're made of strange mixtures I would never eat on a regular basis.  Honesty, who mixes chocolate, nuts, and oats?  Who eats vanilla, flax, and peanuts?  Toffee chocolate chip?  Cappuccino?  I'm almost always an opponent of foods that contain nuts when they don't need to (except peanut M&M's).  Energy bars are no exception.  And things like toffee and cappuccino just shouldn't be in things that aren't called "toffee" or "cappuccino".  Gross! #food
Classroom experience Sep 6, 2006
I was noticing yesterday while I was in class that every class I've ever been in has had a relatively similar makeup of different kinds of people. 
Person A:  This person argues and questions everything and, though smart, slows the class down with his desire to completely understand every detail about everything.  This person puts forth a tremendous amount of work and gets a great though stressful return. 

Person B:  This person inherently knows and understands everything about everything and can calmly and conclusively shoot Person A down.  This person does little to no work and consistently succeeds with perfection. 

Person C:  This person thinks he knows what he's talking about, so he uses big words incorrectly and confusingly explains himself to the professor and the rest of the class.  In the absence of knowing how to answer this person (or where to start), everyone in the class just moves on, reaffirming this person's high opinion of himself. 

Person D:  This person has trouble understanding anything about anything and periodically asks unrelated, meaningless questions that are poorly phrased, improperly received, and incorrectly answered.  This person puts forth a tremendous amount of work and gets awful grades.  This person later becomes a manager and makes boatloads of money. 

Person E.  This person is sort of like Person B, except that he associates knowledge with weakness/uncoolness, so he doesn't apply himself and ends up getting bad grades.  If he put forth even half the amount of work as Person A, he'd do as well as Person B. 

Person F:  Me.  This person wants to punch Person A, despises Person B, can't stand listening to Person C, feels bad for Person D, shakes his finger at Person E, and generally just tries to get by.  This person believes that the best way to do well in school is by learning as little as possible. 
I've also noticed that professors are amazing people.  Especially engineering professors.  Engineers by nature are antisocial geeks who put pride in their knowledge and strive to do better than others.  That's why it seems weird to me that engineers can become teachers.  It just seems so monotonous and unrewarding.  Here's this person who spent a decade studying a very specific subject, earning various degrees and honors along the way, only to wind up in a classroom in front of a bunch of thankless, self-righteous, grade-mongerers.  I guess I just can't imagine putting a ton of work into something for the sole purpose of self-continuation.  There, I said it.  But I'm also amazed at their stamina.  These people talk about dry, boring subjects for hours on end, day after day, year after year.  Nothing changes in the way Heat Transfer or Fluid Mechanics works.  That was all settled a hundred years ago.  So I find it amazing that these people can seem interested in a subject and be ready to answer questions (from Person A and Person D) for 2.5 hours every Tuesday night.  I must applaud them. #education
Bear encounter (2) Sep 5, 2006
Another wonderful thing that happened on my recent hiking trip was a bear encounter.  This website says that bear encounters usually happen in two places on the Appalachian Trail:  In the White Mountains of New Hampshire and in the Wawayanda Shelter area in New Jersey.  They're right about at least one of those places. 

I started hiking at about 5:10pm on Friday.  At around 7:15, the trail crossed another trail.  As I was walking, I saw a black bear run away from me to my right side.  I was a little spooked, but I thought, "Yay, my first bear encounter on the heavily-bear-populated section of the AT."  In order to make noise, I shook my key chain and clapped my hands.  I continued on the trail, but as I looked over my shoulder, I noticed the bear was following me.  Not running or growling or anything, but following me.  A 250-lb black bear was following me in the middle of the woods near Vernon, NJ.  I backed away from the bear and continued on the trail (backwards) as I panicked and tried to think of something to do.  I continued making loud noises and tried yelling.  The bear kept following me.  I blew a little high-powered compressed air horn, which promptly ran out of air after 2 seconds of use (I had used it in the past).  The bear might've been slightly concerned, but it continued to follow me.  I kept walking on the trail, hoping the bear would lose interest or get spooked by something.  After a little while, I didn't think it was on my tail anymore.  I saw some "bear skat" (what nature dorks call poop) on the trail and stopped to take a picture of it, just in case some hikers found my lifeless body -- maybe they could piece together my last few moments.  After I took the picture, I looked back and saw the bear coming towards me.  So I tried making some more noises and continued walking quickly on the trail, thinking about how stupid it was to stop and take a picture of bear poop while a live bear was chasing me.  For a good 10 minutes, this bear followed me at a distance of about 40 feet.  After a while, I guess it got sick of me and wandered off the trail and into the woods.  For the next mile or so until the Wawayanda Shelter, I kept looking over my shoulder and making as much noise as possible (which is stupid seeing that it didn't help in the first place), all the while walking as quickly as I could.  I finally made it to the shelter just before I needed to use a headlamp, and I almost hugged the other people at the shelter (except that they were guys and they stank). 

All in all, it was pretty predictable:  A bear encounter in the Wawayanda Shelter area at dusk.  I thought about it for several hours after that.  I think I decided what I should've done:  I should've walked away more slowly because running or quick walking encourages bears to follow or chase.  I should've made some loud noises and put my arms above my head (or at least that's what some websites said) so that I looked "big and threatening".  As soon as that failed (which I bet is about 50/50), I should've dropped to the ground in the fetal position with my bag on and wrapped my arms around the back of my neck to try to protect my jugular and other vital things.  As this whole fiasco was happening, I didn't really feel like the bear wanted to kill me.  Sometimes I feel like my cat wants to kill me.  But I think this bear just wanted to check me out, maybe sniff me and figure out what I was doing walking through the woods.  I could be completely wrong about that, but it's my theory.  Either way, I hope I never see another bear again.  To all the websites that said "the bear will probably run away", thanks a lot.  Buncha jerks. #nature