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Nuts
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Aug 9, 2005
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Putting nuts in food is just about as useful as using rocks or Brussels sprouts. Whenever I bite into a brownie or a cookie with peanuts or almonds, I want to spit it in the face of the person who made them. What a great way to ruin a perfectly good food. Or those little chocolates with coconut filling? Disgusting! It's always a gamble when you bite into them. Will I get nougat? Will I get caramel? Or will I get the despised and wretched coconut? Sometimes I like to buy those packages of dried fruit. But I always try to stay away from the mixes that have big ugly almonds floating around. They destroy the entire package. They get all up in everyone's business. You take a handful and chew on some nice soft dried fruit, but then all of a sudden you bite down on this object that doesn't quite fit the bill. I've been known to eat everything but the nuts. On a positive note, I do eat peanut M&M's. I think they're acceptable. And I also like trail mix made with raisins and peanuts. It's probably because I know what I'm getting into. I can see them in my hand before I put them in my mouth. But with cookies and brownies, it's like I'm being deceived. Like you're trying to give me poison by putting it in a friendly little package. It's like giving medicine to a cat or dog: you have to mix it in with their other food so they're tricked into eating it. Screw you, nut people! You won't trick me! #food
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