In my opinion, snorers should be shot.  Simple as that.  Sure, that sounds harsh.  But these people have to realize what they're dealing with:  There they are, making raucous nasal noises, enjoying their beautifully restful night of sleep while everyone else is kept awake by their horrific and incessant noise making.  It's not exactly a victimless crime.  The victim is me.  And I value my sleep.  I've been known to become angry and violent when woken up. 

What I don't understand is how snorers can lie there in peace, forcefully sucking Z's through their nose and mouth, and not wake themselves up.  It's a phenomenon that disobeys the laws of nature.  Ok, so maybe certain people can sleep through loud noises.  But what about the vibrations going through the person's nasal cavity and skull?  Shouldn't that be enough to give a person a concussion, let alone wake them up? 

While people keep me awake by snoring, I lie there and hope they choke on their spit.  I think I have every right.  They cause me discomfort and distress; I wish bad things on them.  And it's funny when my wishes comes true and snorers choke on their spit and wake themselves up.  It's also cool when snoring suddenly becomes phlegmy.  As if it wasn't enough that some jerk is keeping me awake, now I get to listen to the sound of mucous passing through the person's sinuses and running down into their throat.  It's so beautiful. 

One time, me and a friend were kept awake by another friend's snoring.  It was so unfathomably loud and ridiculous, we couldn't get to sleep because we were laughing so hard.  But then all of a sudden it stopped, and the snorer ceased to put out any more noises.  We thought he died.  After a good 20 seconds of total silence coming from his area of the room, he suddenly started back up like a stalled car in cold weather.  It was sort of a relief.  I guess I'd rather have a snorer on my hands than a dead person. #psychology