Cruise control Nov 15, 2006
I'm such a huge fan of cruise control.  Every time I drive a different car, whether it's a rental car or a friend's car, one of the first things I figure out is where the cruise control buttons/knobs are and how to use them.  This usually happens before I figure out how to use the steering wheel ("Turning the wheel clockwise makes the car turn right?  Whaaa?") or the headlights.  Driving around this past weekend made me realize something:  My goal when driving on any road with a constant speed limit for a somewhat significant length of time is to set the cruise control when I get on and not touch it until I get off.  My ultimate goal is constant speed.  I don't know why; that's just how my little brain works.  And to make it fun, I treat it like a game:  As soon as I get on the highway, I accelerate to my standard speed and set the cruise control.  Inevitably, different people drive different speeds, so I pass some people and get out of other people's way.  Sometimes my passengers need to stop for Starbucks; other times I-295 in South Jersey randomly goes around tight turns where the speed limit changes from 65 to 35.  In these situations and others, my game is temporarily paused while I impatiently wait to resume.  I even take pride in my ability to do well in my game.  As I'm driving along, I sometimes encounter stupid people that realize too late that they're driving behind someone going slower than them, so they're forced to commit the all-time greatest cardinal sin of using their brakes on the highway.  I can usually see these people even before they see it themselves, so I easily pass them before they can cause me any problems.  Other times, the left (passing) lane gets clogged up because some idiot doesn't know what it's for, so they're going 60 in a 65.  In situations like this, I'll look for a more open lane (usually the right-most lane) and pass all those idiots waiting impatiently behind their idiot leader.  And I drive away in victory, the master of my own little game. #travel
School's 7 lessons Nov 15, 2006
The Seven-Lesson Schoolteacher is a really interesting article written by an award-winning New York state school teacher.  In trying to sum it up, I'm at a loss for words.  Two of his major points were these:  "It is the great triumph of compulsory government monopoly mass-schooling that among even the best of my fellow teachers, and among the best of my students' parents, only a small number can imagine a different way to do things" and "Some form of free-market system in public schooling is the likeliest place to look for answers, a free market where family schools and small entrepreneurial schools and religious schools and crafts schools and farm schools exist in profusion to compete with government education ... one in which students volunteer for the kind of education that suits them".  Similar to some of my previous thoughts.  Very interesting stuff from an obvious hardcore libertarian.  (via Digg) #education
While talking Nov 14, 2006
Things to avoid while talking to me: 
  1. Yawning.  I know I'm boring and I talk like Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  And I know you're really busy and didn't get enough sleep last night.  But I don't care.  Don't yawn in my face.  And if you do yawn, cover it up; don't keep talking.  Talking while yawning makes you sound like an idiot.
  2. Burping.  Everybody burps.  It's a fact of life.  But along with the ability to burp, God gave us the ability to hold it in.  I know you're a gassy person and you just ate Pop Rocks, Coke, beer, and Alka-Seltzer.  But I don't care.  Don't burp in my face.  And if you do burp, make every possible effort to eliminate the gases from our conversation.  Keep your mouth closed, turn your head away from the conversation, and exhale for about 10-15 seconds.  Make sure you breathe out your nose as well as your mouth.  The last thing I want is to smell your Chinese stir fry salami and onion sandwich with garlic fish sticks and cigarettes during our conversation.
  3. Answering the phone.  We live in a very technically advanced society.  Everybody has a cell phone.  And get this:  All cell phones have volume controls and an "ignore" button.  Use both frequently.  Especially when talking to me.  Answering your phone during our conversation warrants a punch to the face.  Be forewarned.
#psychology
Social icons Nov 13, 2006
Amen, 37signals.  It's good to know I'm not the only one annoyed by social bookmarking icons. 
When I first saw these things, I was impressed by all the different sites that do similar things.  I would click on the icons of the sites I hadn't heard of to see if I was interested in using the site.  I suppose I found a few interesting things, but that completely misses the purpose:  To enable readers to submit your site to any of several social bookmarking or rating sites.  Even if I read something that was interesting or noteworthy, I wouldn't submit it to one of these sites.  Why?  I'm a passive user.  I'm not a submitter.  I'm the person everybody hates.  I just sit there and read things and ponder their interestingness.  I never pass anything along.  What can I say?  I'm a jerk. 

So anyway, my main argument against these stupid little icons is that every social bookmarking site produces their own bookmarklet which is easily embedded in every user's browser.  I occasionally use del.icio.us, so I have the bookmarklet that enables me to save things to my del.icio.us account.  Simple as that.  Why would I use somebody's icon that's on their site instead of using my own bookmarklet?  I just don't see the point. #technology
Keep a record Nov 13, 2006
One cool thing about writing stuff on this website is that most of the past 2 years of my life has been pretty well archived.  Not archived like a series of events, but archived more like a collection of thoughts.  The things I've written about have been more along the lines of "what's going on in my head" as opposed to "what I did yesterday".  But hey, whatever floats your boat. 

The first time I did something like this was when I was in college, but it was before the ease of online publishing.  I wrote all my thoughts and opinions, unfiltered and unedited, in a password-protected Word document.  It was great to be able to get stuff out of my head, and it was also interesting to look back on it to see what I was thinking the previous day, month, or year.  As of this moment, I don't remember the passwords for these password-protected documents, so I have no idea what I used to think.  This troubles me, but maybe I'll figure something out eventually.  (Update [2006-11-14 11:41am]:  I was using a trial version of some password recovering software, and the program was able to guess the password in just a few seconds, reminding me that the password was only a few characters long and that the password was the same for each of the documents.  Now I have access to all my memories!)

My biggest regret about this whole thing is that I didn't start it sooner.  It would be really cool to find out what I used to think when I was 16.  Or 11.  Or 7.  It would probably be naive and embarrassing, but that's how things go.  So my word of advice to anyone reading this:  Keep a record.  Call it a diary, a journal, a blog, whatever.  The name doesn't matter.  Just keep a record.  Write down what you do, what you think, what you like, what you hate, who you meet.  It's unbelievably beneficial. #psychology
ReviewMe Nov 13, 2006
ReviewMe is the new kid on the block in the pay-per-something game.  For now, it's competing with PayPerPost, the site that recently won the "Leaves Worst Taste In Mouth" award.  As TechCrunch points out, ReviewMe has two major advantages over PayPerPost:  Required disclosure and honest opinions.  Every post about a ReviewMe product/website needs to be announced as a paid post.  One of the biggest criticisms about PayPerPost was that posts could look like they were unbiased when they were in fact paid.  This wouldn't necessarily change the content of the post, but some people didn't like being left in the dark.  The other big criticism was that advertisers on PayPerPost could require that a post be positive.  This essentially amounts to bribery, and it obviously left many people with a negative view of PayPerPost.  The only real requirement for ReviewMe posts is that they're 200 words or more.  At first that sounds like kind of a lot (I didn't write papers in college; I did math problems), but it turns out that 200 words are pretty easy to come up with when you have a brain oozing with nonsense. 

Another interesting thing about ReviewMe is its payment model.  Different bloggers will get paid different amounts for doing the same thing, based on each blog's "importance" according to Alexa and Technorati.  So basically, it's a popularity contest.  But that's how it works in other venues as well:  A 30-second ad during the Super Bowl will obviously cost more than a 30-second ad during a late-night infomercial.  This means that somebody like zefrank will make around $1000 per post, while somebody like me will make a few soybean seeds and be told to sell the plants to make real money. 

A final interesting thing is that ReviewMe is owned by Text Link Ads, the somewhat elitist marketer with the beautiful website.  TLA is sort of a big force on the internet; it just keeps popping up everywhere. 

This is a sponsored post. #technology
Doggie bags Nov 9, 2006
Mentioned on Real Tech News, the Puppy Purse is the best way to carry around your rodent-sized dog while simultaneously destroying your dignity.  Once again, I wish they made these things for cats.  And I wish cats would tolerate humiliation and abuse like this. 
Another awesome dog invention is the Poopsadaisy, which is a bag that fits around a dog's neck, specially made for holding dog poop.  Cleverly summed up with the phrase, "You dump it, you haul it."  Isn't that wonderful? 
(via Neatorama) #nature
Curbs Nov 8, 2006
I have a pretty horrible track record with curbs.  For some reason, they seem to be one of the biggest problems in my life. 

When I was 17, I was on my way to a Super Bowl party in my dad's car (the party wasn't in his car; his car was my means of getting to the party [most people probably didn't need that explanation]).  As I was making a right turn into a shopping center, I misjudged the size of the opening and hit a curb at 30 mph.  That's makes me sound stupid, so let me clarify:  There were two openings to the shopping center, and they were separated by a small concrete island.  Since some entrances to parking lots have a bit of a lip where the curb would normally be, I thought the two openings were one big opening with a slightly larger lip in one section.  So I hit that bad boy head on.  And the reason I was going 30 mph was because I was on a road with a pretty high speed limit and I have this obsessive compulsive fear of being in someone's way as I make a turn.  So my objective was to exit the road as quickly as possible.  And I did.  And I hit a curb.  At 30 mph.  It popped the right front tire and bent a few things in the process.  I pulled into a gas station (with the tire hissing as it lost air) and had it replaced with the spare, at which point I drove home in shame and misery. 

I bought my current car on July 10, 2004.  It was brand spanking new and shiny all over.  Exactly 2 weeks later, I drove to Pennsylvania for a party at the brother of the girlfriend of a friend's house (he's also a friend of the friend and a friend of me; hopefully that clarifies things).  As I pulled to the side of the road to park my car, I misjudged the distance between the curb and my car, and I scraped up my brand new, factory-installed plastic hub caps.  I was mortified.  I got out of the car to check the damage.  It wasn't life-threatening or vehicle-disabling, but it was ugly.  I thought, "Meh, I'll just buy new ones.  Walmart sells hub caps for like $15."  Exactly 2 years, 3 months, and 15 days later, I still haven't gotten new hub caps.  And in the process, I've scraped them at least 10 more times. 

Several months ago, I went on a company-sponsored trip to Las Vegas for a conference.  I rented my first car:  A white Chrysler Sebring convertible, the most common rental car on planet earth.  I drove to some place at night and parked in one of those parking lots with the concrete slabs (similar in size to a curb) separating the spaces.  I went into the building and eventually came out to drive home.  The parking lot was mostly empty, so I thought, "Pull-through!" and went for it.  That's when I hit the concrete slab.  It made a horrendous noise:  The same noise anything makes when it hits any part of a car.  I stopped the car and got out to check the damage.  It wasn't a big deal; I had merely driven over the slab.  The problem was that I actually got the front tires over the slab, meaning I would have to get the tires back over the slab in order to get out of there.  I got back in the car and put it in reverse.  I heard painful car-crushing sounds and found that the car was actually moving the slab instead of rolling over it.  I didn't know those things could move.  So I tried my only other option:  Pull-through!  I bull-rushed over that thing and got the car into a safe position.  I got out of the car and looked around to see if there were any witnesses (for the sake of my reputation, not for the sake of the car), and I kicked the concrete slab back into place.  The car actually didn't have any noticeable damage, so I drove away and pretended the whole thing never happened. #travel
Wrong number Nov 8, 2006
I don't fully understand how I get phone calls from people claiming they dialed the wrong number.  I can remember all two times I've done this in my entire life:  Once was last week, when a stupid lady left a mumbling message on my answering machine, causing me to hear her phone number incorrectly; and the other time was when I was 3 and didn't have complete control over my fine motor skills and accidentally pressed two buttons at once.  Other than that, I've been pretty good at dialing phone numbers.  And with the mass adoption of cell phones, people hardly ever dial numbers anymore.  They look through their phone book or sift through their recent calls.  So how do I keep getting calls from people dialing the wrong number?  If I regularly get several per month, that means other people must get around the same amount (I can't possibly be alone in this).  That means there are something like 6 billion wrong numbers called each year around the country (this estimate* doesn't account for international calls).  Good thing I have a cell phone plan that overcharges me for too many minutes.  Otherwise, I'd have to be overcharged even more. 

The other part of this I don't understand is why the people dialing the wrong number treat it like it's my fault.  I got a call at work the other day where a lady said, "Shontell?  Why you do dat?"  I said, "Sorry, I think you have the wrong number".  The lady mumbled something and hung up angrily.  Did I do something wrong?  I guess so.  It's my fault for having a number that so closely resembles Shontell's. 

*Estimate is a fancy word for "total guess" and is usually based on misinformation and false assumptions. #technology
Time budget Nov 8, 2006
On average, I spend
  • 29.2% of my time sleeping
  • 23.8% of my time at work
  • 11.9% of my time watching TV
  • 5.9% of my time driving
  • 4.2% of my time eating
  • 3.3% of my time doing church things
  • 2.4% of my time fixing/building/upkeeping things
  • 2.4% of my time getting ready in the morning
  • 1.8% of my time in class
  • 1.5% of my time cleaning
  • 1.4% of my time reading the Bible
  • 1.2% of my time buying things
That accounts for 89% of my time.  I'll assume 5% of that is calculation error, so that leaves 94% of my time accounted for.  I wonder what I do with the other 10 hours each week?  That's a lot of unaccounted-for time.  I do remember staring out the window a lot, but I didn't think it took up that much time. #psychology