Things to avoid while talking to me: 
  1. Yawning.  I know I'm boring and I talk like Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  And I know you're really busy and didn't get enough sleep last night.  But I don't care.  Don't yawn in my face.  And if you do yawn, cover it up; don't keep talking.  Talking while yawning makes you sound like an idiot.
  2. Burping.  Everybody burps.  It's a fact of life.  But along with the ability to burp, God gave us the ability to hold it in.  I know you're a gassy person and you just ate Pop Rocks, Coke, beer, and Alka-Seltzer.  But I don't care.  Don't burp in my face.  And if you do burp, make every possible effort to eliminate the gases from our conversation.  Keep your mouth closed, turn your head away from the conversation, and exhale for about 10-15 seconds.  Make sure you breathe out your nose as well as your mouth.  The last thing I want is to smell your Chinese stir fry salami and onion sandwich with garlic fish sticks and cigarettes during our conversation.
  3. Answering the phone.  We live in a very technically advanced society.  Everybody has a cell phone.  And get this:  All cell phones have volume controls and an "ignore" button.  Use both frequently.  Especially when talking to me.  Answering your phone during our conversation warrants a punch to the face.  Be forewarned.
#psychology