Indian w (2) Dec 7, 2005
I secretly make fun of all Indian people by using "w" in place of "v", like in the word "wideo" [video] or "DWeeD" [DVD].  Other examples include Stewens [Stevens], Prowerbs [Proverbs] , and Wisa [Visa].  I guess it's not a secret anymore. #language
Health Dec 7, 2005
I just got over one of those proverbial 24-hour bugs.  Or at least I think I'm over it.  I started feeling kinda weird yesterday at around 10:30am.  I got to the point where I almost threw up at work, but I didn't.  Then I decided to go home.  I threw up a few times and slept most of the day.  I slept in the next day and went to work late.  [Using sick time is a great thing.] 

I'm kinda under the impression that my body is extremely healthy.  I'm not sure what went wrong, but my body figured it out and got rid of everything that was inside.  Even though I felt gross, my body healed itself.  Weird. 

I haven't thrown up for non-substance-related reasons for over 10 years.  It's been a while.  And I'm not sure what caused this one.  I had a cheesesteak on Monday night.  Maybe it was undercooked?  But it took 16 hours for me to feel the effects, so that's probably not it.  I ate some of my normal things on Tuesday morning; nothing out of the ordinary.  So maybe it wasn't something I ate.  Maybe it was a "bug".  Who knows. #health
WordPress plugins Dec 7, 2005
Here's a list of WordPress plugins that I'm currently using or have used in the past. 

Search Everything - Changes the default search tool to search through posts (like normal), pages, and comments. 
RunPHP - Allows you to run PHP in your posts and pages. 
Backup/Restore - Backup your MySQL database and WordPress files. 
Follow URL - Strip the "nofollow" tag that's automatically inserted into links placed in comments. 
Recent Comments - Highly configurable way to show recent comments. 
StatTraq - Advanced statistics, including hits, users, page views, browsers, referrers, search terms, IP addresses. 
BAStats - Another statistics plugin with similar features.  Stopped using it because it uses a lot of system resources, hence server downtime. #technology
Server downtime (1) Dec 6, 2005
It's not you, it's me.  Sometimes you might go to this website and get an error like this:
It's not your fault.  It's my server.  Sometimes it's down for hours at a time.  I asked about it, and JD said it's because both the Apache web server and the MySQL server are running on the same machine.  Apparently this isn't a good thing, and it might be fixed in the near future. #technology
Great Britain Dec 5, 2005
I have something against Great Britain.  You're thinking, "What could this idiot possibly have to say about Great Britain?  He's never left the country."  Wrong:  I've been to Canada several times, and I went to Jamaica for my honeymoon.  Plus, my brother-in-law-in-law (sister-in-law's husband) is Puerto Rican.  I'm extremely cultured. 

So here's my thing against Great Britain:  I don't think they should be using an adjective in the name of the country.  It's like saying Awesome America or Fruity France.  Countries shouldn't be described by adjectives unless they're physically descriptive:  Greenland (though it's more icy than green), Iceland (though it's more green than icy), Turkey (kidding).  To call yourself "Great" Britain shows that you think quite highly of yourself. 

But just to show that I'm not the biggest idiot on earth, here's the real reason behind the title:  The Roman geographer Ptolemy called the larger island off the coast of Europe "Megale Brettania" which translates into "Great Britain".  Another explanation is that the French started calling it "Grande Bretagne" to distinguish it from the French province of Brittany.  So basically, the "Great" refers to size, not self-proclaimed worth. 

But instead of going along with knowledge and logic, I'm gonna stick to my stupidness by refusing to use the word "great" before the word "britain".  Take that, rooineks! #travel
Rodney Dane Higginbotham Dec 5, 2005
Article from South Carolina's newspaper, the State: 
Police said Higginbotham argued with his wife because she had not cooked anything. When she began cooking, he started making spaghetti while eating crackers and squeeze cheese. They argued, and he squeezed cheese on the kitchen floor. She squeezed the cheese on his truck, and he squeezed the cheese in her hair before fleeing in his truck. His wife said she washed her hair before the officer arrived to take her complaint.
God bless America. #entertainment
Cat lessons part 2 Dec 5, 2005
Part 1 was about Dilbert.  Part 2 is about Nemo.

What my cat Nemo taught me about life:
1.  Don't talk to strangers:  Sniff them first. 
2.  Know when it's your time to get attention. 
3.  Don't take someone else's job:  After you do your "business" in the litter box, leave it for Dilbert to clean up.  He's good at that. 
4.  Don't give your caretaker more work to do when they come home:  Throw up in the middle of the night when they're sleeping. 
5.  Let others know when you're not happy with them:  Hiss and growl. 
6.  Reach for the unattainable:  Chase light and reflections from watches. 
7.  Remember your roots:  Knead soft, fuzzy things. 
8.  Don't be ashamed of your shortcomings:  If you feel carsick, just lose control of all bodily functions.  That'll teach 'em. 

#nature
Trashy Dec 5, 2005
Most beautiful name I've ever heard in my life:  Trashawna. 

Obvious nickname overlooked by parents:  Trash. #sociology
Cursing Dec 2, 2005
I'm usually not a big fan of cursing.  I used to have quite a few bad words to say, but I've since cleaned up my act a bit.  Whenever I hear young people using bad language, I don't think it's too cool because it just shows that they can't think of something more intelligent to say.  But I feel different with old people.  Old people have been around for a while.  They're wise.  They're patient (sometimes).  So when they interject some obscenities in their everyday speech, I think it's pretty funny.  Not only because it's usually undeserved, but because of their attitude. 

I was in a meeting last week, and some woman (not too old ... probably in her late 40s) was talking about her job experience and just threw in a couple choice words to describe some of the bad parts of her job.  It was hilarious because she didn't care what anyone thought.  She didn't care if it was offensive or if it would give a bad impression of her; she didn't care if it affected her job.  She just said what she felt.  It's like she reached that point in her life where she said what that guy in American Beauty said:  "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."  Bravo. 

Disclaimer:  I can't and don't advocate the usage of foul language.  Such behavior is immature (sort of) and inconsiderate (sometimes) and will be deleted from this website (see comments here and here). #psychology
Festivus Dec 1, 2005
This website sells pure aluminum Festivus poles, according to the long-standing Costanza tradition.  "A Festivus for the rest of us!" #products