What my cat Dilbert taught me about life:
1.  Show people that you're happy to see them.
2.  Play wildly, and play often.
3.  Be affectionate with people you like.
4.  Help people clean up their messes.

Other lessons learned from Dilbert:
1.  When someone does something that hurts you, violently kick and bite them.
2.  Say hi to people out your windows.
3.  Always look for new things to sniff.
4.  Eat anything and everything you find on the floor.
5.  Try to kill toy mice by drowning them in your water dish.
6.  Sit in the bathtub and watch drops of water roll towards the drain.
7.  Eat bugs.