Great Britain Dec 5, 2005
I have something against Great Britain.  You're thinking, "What could this idiot possibly have to say about Great Britain?  He's never left the country."  Wrong:  I've been to Canada several times, and I went to Jamaica for my honeymoon.  Plus, my brother-in-law-in-law (sister-in-law's husband) is Puerto Rican.  I'm extremely cultured. 

So here's my thing against Great Britain:  I don't think they should be using an adjective in the name of the country.  It's like saying Awesome America or Fruity France.  Countries shouldn't be described by adjectives unless they're physically descriptive:  Greenland (though it's more icy than green), Iceland (though it's more green than icy), Turkey (kidding).  To call yourself "Great" Britain shows that you think quite highly of yourself. 

But just to show that I'm not the biggest idiot on earth, here's the real reason behind the title:  The Roman geographer Ptolemy called the larger island off the coast of Europe "Megale Brettania" which translates into "Great Britain".  Another explanation is that the French started calling it "Grande Bretagne" to distinguish it from the French province of Brittany.  So basically, the "Great" refers to size, not self-proclaimed worth. 

But instead of going along with knowledge and logic, I'm gonna stick to my stupidness by refusing to use the word "great" before the word "britain".  Take that, rooineks! #travel
Rodney Dane Higginbotham Dec 5, 2005
Article from South Carolina's newspaper, the State: 
Police said Higginbotham argued with his wife because she had not cooked anything. When she began cooking, he started making spaghetti while eating crackers and squeeze cheese. They argued, and he squeezed cheese on the kitchen floor. She squeezed the cheese on his truck, and he squeezed the cheese in her hair before fleeing in his truck. His wife said she washed her hair before the officer arrived to take her complaint.
God bless America. #entertainment
Cat lessons part 2 Dec 5, 2005
Part 1 was about Dilbert.  Part 2 is about Nemo.

What my cat Nemo taught me about life:
1.  Don't talk to strangers:  Sniff them first. 
2.  Know when it's your time to get attention. 
3.  Don't take someone else's job:  After you do your "business" in the litter box, leave it for Dilbert to clean up.  He's good at that. 
4.  Don't give your caretaker more work to do when they come home:  Throw up in the middle of the night when they're sleeping. 
5.  Let others know when you're not happy with them:  Hiss and growl. 
6.  Reach for the unattainable:  Chase light and reflections from watches. 
7.  Remember your roots:  Knead soft, fuzzy things. 
8.  Don't be ashamed of your shortcomings:  If you feel carsick, just lose control of all bodily functions.  That'll teach 'em. 

#nature
Trashy Dec 5, 2005
Most beautiful name I've ever heard in my life:  Trashawna. 

Obvious nickname overlooked by parents:  Trash. #sociology