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Ring Wed, Aug 24, 2005
I've discovered a new class of people who annoy me:  people who choose the ringtone for their cell phone while in public.  You know these people.  You're sitting around, minding your own business.  You hear several rings from a person's cell phone and think, "Wow, that person must be important."  But then you notice that they haven't brought the cell phone to their ear.  And that's when you realize that they've decided to use this opportune time to select a ringtone from the vast selection included in today's modern cell phones.  You hear some groovy tunes, classical pieces, super noises, that electronic voice that says, "You have an incoming call".  And then you realize how much you want to take that cell phone and shove it down that person's throat.  You've been through the ringtone selection process.  At home.  In the privacy of your own living space.  Because you're not an idiot.  But this person is an idiot.  Maybe they just bought the cell phone, so they have to try out all the rings to see which one they like.  Wrong.  You're in an airport.  What are the chances of a person buying a cell phone at an airport?  You hear the Bach Sonata.  You hear the Blues 12 Bar.  But when you hear the Fur Elise, you want to jump out of your seat and punch somebody in the face.  You annoyingly look around the room to see if anybody else feels the same way.  You make eye contact with someone and give the old "what an idiot" look with your eyes.  They give the old "totally" look back.  You think, "I wonder if I could yell 'Shut up, big dumb idiot!' and have the support of all these people?"  You picture these people carrying you around proudly on their shoulders, claiming you as their hero for standing up to the idiot and saving the day.  The people are singing, "We ... are the champions, my friend ..."  You see the idiot sheepishly put the phone away.  "Boarding all passengers in Zone 7"  Wait, that doesn't fit in with your hero parade.  That's when you realize you're in an airport and your doctor told you you're not allowed to flip out in public.  So you calm yourself down and try to figure out why they board planes from front to back. #technology

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