On security Dec 20, 2010
From a recent On the Media episode regarding the role of security in our everyday lives: 
The mission is first. You don't let yourself be tied in knots. Security at best is a means to an end. It should be serving the national interest. When we become servants of security rather than being served by security, then we've got things backwards.
#technology
TVs with USB Nov 29, 2010
I got a new TV recently, and it accepts a USB input.  On a whim, I decided to stick a thumb drive in to see what would happen, and I was blown away by how it simply showed my pictures and played my movies.  There was no installation or setup or drivers or hardware configuration.  I just plugged it in and it worked.  The same thing happened with a family member's new TV.  I don't know why it worked, and I don't understand how it could be that simple, but I wish all my other gadgets worked that easily. #technology
Solve vs. fix (1) Oct 1, 2010
I'm an engineer, so my brain floods with happy chemicals when I'm able to identify a problem, figure out what's wrong, and solve it.  For example, when my DVD player stopped working, it was fun to dig around in the pile of wires behind the TV and find out that my rabbit chewed the hell out of everything including the power cable for the DVD player, which was surprisingly easily fixed with electrical tape.  But sometimes I'm ok when that middle step gets skipped, and when the problem just magically goes away.  For example, my car's check engine light was on, so I took it to AutoZone to get a free error code reading (that's seriously a great deal), and the sales guy interpreted the various codes for me with some complicated automotive verbiage.  He said I'd need to go to a special place to get it fixed, and it would cost lots of money just for them to figure out what the problem was.  Being a cheap bastard, I looked up the error codes online, and one of the solutions was to remove and replace the gas cap.  I tried it, and it worked, and I haven't seen the check engine light since.  But just because I solved the problem, it doesn't mean I actually fixed what was wrong. #technology
Ctrl Sep 22, 2010
Ctrl is an NBC-produced series of 10 webisodes about a guy in an office who can control life with his computer keyboard.  Each episode is about a major keyboard function involving the control key, e.g. Ctrl-Z (undo), Ctrl-X (cut), etc.  It's extremely nerdy, and I love it.  It's better on Hulu. #technology
Bose low battery Sep 21, 2010
Wendy got me Bose noise-canceling headphones for my birthday.  It's weird buying and receiving gifts from someone with whom you share a bank account, but that's a different story.  The headphones work through some sort of system involving nuclear power and witchcraft.  But what's important is that they're battery-powered.  And the feeling produced by their phase-shifted sound waves is kind of like being underwater.  After you've had them on for a while, it's a shock to the system to turn them off and resume normal noise levels.  And while Bose is famous for making great products, I feel like they messed this one little thing up:  Whenever the battery gets low, the noise-canceling noise clicks on and off in a rapid succession, which is almost enough to give me a seizure.  I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up with my face on the ground in some foreign locale, wearing only underwear and carrying a shovel, unaware that my brain has been under the control of phase-shifted sound waves for hours.  What I'm trying to say is I guess I'm getting to that point in life where I'm afraid of technology. #technology
If it works Sep 17, 2010
I regularly get phone calls with a recorded cheerful voice that starts out like this:  "Hi, I'm calling about your current credit account."  The caller/robot doesn't identify him/herself, doesn't mention my name specifically, and doesn't mention what "credit account" they're calling about.  It's phone spam, and every time it happens, I hang up and think, who falls for this crap?  Seriously, are there people out there who give out their credit card information and social security numbers over the phone and on the internet whenever asked?  Do people still really fall for stupid scams?  Aren't we smarter than that?  But I guess the fact that I keep getting these calls proves that they're at least mildly successful.  If there was no money to be made, or if there was money to be lost, these things wouldn't happen.  And I guess it's the same with email spam, clothing catalogs (honestly, who on earth orders clothes through the mail?), phone books, internet pop-ups (which are mostly a thing of the past at this point), and those local car dealership TV commercials with the crazy guy screaming at the camera.  If there's money to be made, people will do anything. #technology
Opportunities in problems Sep 16, 2010
When I got home from work yesterday, one of my bazillion neighbors' bazillion dogs was barking its head off.  For no reason.  Nonstop.  To be fair, I'm not a dog person, so a barking dog is about as appealing to me as a severed foot.  Ok to be honest, I wish all dogs were de-barked as part of a nationwide crackdown on noise pollution.  People would say, "I got my dog de-barked," and I would reply, "Oh, that's a shame; dogs are animals, simply expressing their dog-ness," but in my head I would be cheering because I hate more than anything else in all the world a stupid barking dog, except for those teenagers that used to live next door and throw keggers every Tuesday. 

Well that got out of hand.  My point is that barking dogs are a problem.  But dogs bark; that's what they do.  So really the problem is on my end.  Which is why I think it would be cool to take something that's a perceived problem and turn it into a potential gain.  For example, I'd like to invent a device that would capture the sound waves created by a barking dog, filter them through some sort of piston/compressor assembly, and generate electricity.  Electricity is a good thing.  A barking dog is a bad thing.  But getting electricity from a barking dog is a great thing. #technology
Just not worth it Sep 15, 2010
I was trying to log in to a stupid insurance website, and it kept giving me an error message that said to call an 800 number for help.  I hate talking on the phone, especially with "technical support" people ("Is your computer on?"  Yes.  "Try restarting."), so I waited until the next day and tried again.  Time heals all wounds, right?  Not in this case.  So I ended up calling the number and navigating the phone maze before eventually talking to a human being.  So far so good.  I told her my problem, and she told me the solution:  I had to register in order to log in, which is weird because I already have a username and password.  Long story long, I re-registered and was able to log in.  Hooray! 

While I was on the phone with this human, I asked her why the website didn't simply tell me what the problem was, instead of making me call an 800 number and waste a company's money by talking to one of their humans.  Instead of just telling me there's an error, why not tell me what to do about it?  It's like telling me not to make a U-turn.  Where the hell am I supposed to make a U-turn? 

Her response to my technical inquiry was the following, and I quote:  "The system doesn't know whether you're registered or not until after you register.  So if you're not registered, it doesn't know that.  You have to register first so it'll know you're registered." 

This is obviously false.  If I need to be registered in order for the system to check whether I'm registered, then that step is meaningless.  I'm not a genius, but I understand how technology works, and I even know how to program websites.  If I know one thing, it's that that's a stupid answer.  I was about to get all technical with this woman and either (a) try to correct her misinformation or (b) fix her website, when it occurred to me:  It's just not worth it.  This issue isn't worth my time, my effort, my stress.  And it's not like I have better things to do with my time, or don't have the energy to fix other people's problems.  I would like nothing better than to fix a mega-corporation's stupid website, saving them time and money so they can continue taking more from my pocket.  But honestly, I just couldn't care less.  And this idea has been coming up again and again in my life lately, when the wheels in my brain start spinning in response to some error or problem.  It's just not worth it. 

So I politely said, "Oh.  Ok.  Thanks for your help," and hung up. #technology
Internet echo chamber (3) Aug 24, 2010
Leo Laporte on having some of his social media settings messed up and subsequently ignored: 
It makes me feel like everything I've posted over the past four years on Twitter, Jaiku, Friendfeed, Plurk, Pownce, and, yes, Google Buzz, has been an immense waste of time. I was shouting into a vast echo chamber where no one could hear me because they were too busy shouting themselves.
That's what most big websites with comments feel like.  I lose brain cells every time I read a comment on YouTube. #technology
Front desk number Aug 20, 2010
So there I was a few nights ago, sitting in my hotel room, watching TV, when all of a sudden I got a call on the room phone.  I couldn't imagine who it would be since anyone who could possibly want to contact me would call my cell phone.  So I answered, and a lady on the other end asks, "Is this the front desk?"  Slightly annoyed at her incompetence but somewhat understanding because of the fact that I was staying in room 123 and thinking maybe she just picked up the phone and started pressing numbers, I answer with a hint of anger, "Nope."  As I hang up I notice the international standard set of important numbers printed on the phone itself, with the front desk being at the top of the list and having the very-easy-to-guess number of "0."  About 30 seconds later, the phone rings again, and sure enough it's the same lady asking for the front desk.  Masking my incoherent rage at her blinding stupidity, I politely say, "You might want to try dialing 0."  I didn't hear from her again, and she should be thankful for that. #technology