Bad part of town Dec 5, 2011
I was driving around a small city recently, and I realized I crossed the tracks into the bad part of town when I saw the following businesses:  Cash for gold, payday loans, and bail bonds.  I wonder which came first, the bad part of town, or the businesses in the bad part of town.

Related:  5 businesses that rip off the poor #lifestyle
Kids are gross (2) Nov 28, 2011
Let's all be honest for a moment and admit a simple fact:  Human children are disgusting.  It seems that everything that typically remains inside a normal human being has the tendency to leak out of a baby, whether it's snot, partially chewed food, partially digested food (i.e. puke), or fully digested food (i.e. poop).  Here are some rebuttals I can imagine hearing from parents: 
  • You did the same thing when you were a baby.  Irrelevant.
  • It's different when it's your own kid.  Even if I had a kid, 99.9% of kids would still be gross.
  • Everything a baby does is beautiful and innocent.  Wrong.
As a non-parent, I legitimately have a difficult time controlling my gag reflex in the presence of a child who's eating.  Quite possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my entire life was when my nephew scooped the half-chewed and mushy food bits out of his around-the-neck Baby Bjorn thing and put a big ol' handful in his mouth.  That was years ago, and it still gives me chills.  A more recent episode involved a new father lovingly spooning the excess mashed potatoes off his baby's face and putting the contents into his own mouth.  Granted, some of the blame in this case lies on the disgusting parent. #lifestyle
Power outage Nov 1, 2011
Our house went without power for a few days due to a snow storm, and I have a few observations: 
  1. People rushed to buy ice so the food in their refrigerators wouldn't spoil.  Just put your food in the snow, dummies.
  2. The main problem with an all-electric house is no backup heat source.
  3. We sometimes pay for the privilege of living without electrical power.  It's called camping.
  4. The only times we've ever lost power or water was when our sink was full of dirty dishes.  Thus, preventing power and water outages is as easy as always doing dishes.
  5. Using a generator to power a space heater was nice.  Using said generator to power an Xbox and a flat screen was even better.
  6. Driving on streets with non-working traffic lights and walking through stores with angry tired people makes you realize how quickly our society could unravel.  And that was after 24 hours.
Getting power back after 48 hours was like a gift from God.  It's stupid how much we depend on that temperamental invisible force, but such is life. #lifestyle
Broken escalator Oct 17, 2011
"An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs.  You would never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs.  Sorry for the convenience.'" ~ Mitch Hedberg #lifestyle
How to die (1) Jul 12, 2011
From a story about a guy with Lou Gehrig's disease who's opted out of treatment and is preparing for his inevitable end: 
If I let this run the whole course, with all the human, medical, technological and loving support I will start to need just months from now, it will leave me, in 5 or 8 or 12 or more years, a conscious but motionless, mute, withered, incontinent mummy of my former self. Maintained by feeding and waste tubes, breathing and suctioning machines.

No, thank you. I hate being a drag. I don't think I'll stick around for the back half of Lou.

I don't worry about fatty foods anymore. I don't worry about having enough money to grow old. I'm not going to grow old.

I'm having a wonderful time.
(via Kottke) #lifestyle
Clothing gender May 24, 2011
I was at a mall recently, and as I walked past certain stores, I honestly couldn't tell if they sold men's clothes or not.  The mannequins looked male, and the posters on the wall had a bunch of smiling guys, but the clothes were all pastel-colored and v-necked.  I've mentioned my aversion to the things young people tend to wear these days (that statement makes me sound old), but honestly what does it say about our society if there's no discernible difference between men's and women's clothing? #lifestyle
Wallpaper and paneling May 17, 2011
One thing pretty much everyone with two eyeballs can agree on is the fact that wallpaper and wood paneling make your house look ugly, which is why one of the first things new home buyers discover is how very wretched the inventor of both wall treatments was in creating such difficult to remove atrocities.  An interesting thing my mom told me recently was that when they moved into their old house almost 30 years ago, the wallpaper and wood paneling looked ugly and were some of the first things to go.  So in other words, this isn't a new problem.  So my question is twofold:  (1) Who the hell are these people who install wallpaper and wood paneling, and (2) if your house has these "features," is it safe to assume it's been about 30 years since it was last remodeled? #lifestyle
Growing grass May 16, 2011
Every spring, I attempt to muster the energy to persuade my small yard to grow grass.  I have mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, I want my lawn to look nice, because I like how nice lawns look.  I realize that's circular logic, but I can't seem to convince myself it's wrong.  On the other hand, when the grass grows, it means I'll need to cut it.  That makes about as much sense as putting snow on my driveway so I can shovel it.  Finally, there's the issue of where grass actually grows.  It seems to have no problem growing in the cracks in my sidewalk, or in the garden, or in the part of my driveway that's covered in stones.  I have no doubt it would grow on my deck or my roof if I put some seeds there.  But getting it to grow in my lawn is still an issue.  And I'm kind of ok with that. #lifestyle
Small kitchen (2) May 4, 2011
I've been looking at real estate lately, and one thing that baffles me is why houses are designed a certain way.  I understand why you might want a small spare bedroom that you could use as an office, or a combination living room and dining room because you don't see the need for the two to be separate.  But I feel like there are a few things everyone can unilaterally agree on:  A bathroom with a shower, some good closet space, and a decent-size kitchen.  Our current house has a tiny kitchen, and like seeing a fly on the wall, once you notice it, you can't ignore it.  Every problem in life and every conversation is about that stupid fly.  My point is, what kind of person wants a tiny kitchen in their house?  People who never cook?  Even they would probably admit that it's nice to have at least, say, five feet of open counter space.  Maybe enough room to fit two people who happen to cohabitate and whose feeding times often coincide.  And it's not just our house.  Lots of people have tiny kitchens, and it makes no sense.  No one wants a small kitchen.  That's certainly never a selling feature.  What's wrong with these people who design our houses? #lifestyle
Corner lot (5) May 3, 2011
In real estate listings, a corner lot is deemed desirable enough to include it in the description of the property.  This doesn't make sense to me.  A corner lot has not one, but two streets passing by it, which means double the amount of traffic, plus the added benefit of people stopping and starting all the time at the stop sign.  This is one of the most unappealing things I can think of, besides "easy access to charming landfill." #lifestyle