It is finished Dec 5, 2007
Tonight I completed the final exam for the last class of my graduate degree, thus signifying the end of classes, tests, thinking, and learning forever.  Here's to the rest of my life, where I try my hardest to forget everything I've learned up to this point. #education
Unrewarding extracurriculars Nov 6, 2007
In high school and college, I was friends with or acquaintances with a few people who were involved in unrewarding extracurricular activities like the school newspaper, the yearbook committee, and the alumni association.  These organizations seemed only to drain their members physically, mentally, emotionally, and creatively, leaving little life left to enjoy.  It didn't seem like these people enjoyed their involvement in these clubs, and there was barely any reward for their hard work and time spent, aside from lukewarm responses and a general lack of acknowledgment from their colleagues.  I never understood why these people continued their involvement in these clubs, and I still don't to this day.  I'm thankful for things like the yearbook, but the newspaper and the alumni association don't interest me.  I guess people have their reasons. #education
School struggle Mar 1, 2007
I'm taking this class right now where the professor "assigns" homework that's neither collected nor graded.  It's optional, but he strongly recommends doing it because it's the only way we'll learn how to do the problems.  He hands out answers, but not solutions, so we actually have to do the problems and learn things.  It's actually kind of a good way to run a class.  But since no learning happens in class and the book is painfully inadequate, he encourages his students to come see him to ask him questions about the homeworks.  He says to struggle with the problems for a while, and when we get nowhere, go see him. 

The thing with struggling with schoolwork is that I have a pretty low tolerance for it.  There are two possible outcomes:  Either I can (a) struggle with a problem for hours and hours and at some point actually get an answer, or (b) struggle for a little while to no avail and go see the professor.  The problem with the first outcome is that it's really stupid.  If I finally get an answer to a homework problem after two hours of struggling, the reward is hardly worth the effort.  In fact, it's not worth the effort at all in this case, because the homework is neither collected nor graded.  So the only logical option is to go see the professor.  It's a simple concept:  If I have a fixed number of assets (a book, some notes, my cranium), I can only get so far with homework problems before I either hit a brick wall or get the right answer.  No amount of time or effort will allow me to get past that brick wall.  It's like creating something from nothing; there needs to be some sort of outside force.  I need to introduce more assets, such as the professor.  And that's exactly what I do. #education
Don't care anymore Dec 20, 2006
I would say that about 98% of the classes I've taken in the course of my life have ended with this statement:  "I just don't care anymore."  And that annoys me.  I've always put a lot of time and effort into schoolwork, and my grades have usually reflected that [1].  So when it's the end of the semester and I'm studying hard or working on a final, it's such a letdown to admit to myself that I just don't care anymore.  The truth is, I usually do care.  In fact, I can't think of a time when I literally didn't care.  Grades have always been one of my top priorities, so it's impossible to say I don't care at least a little.  And no matter how much I try to tell myself I won't let it happen, I almost always end up getting to the point where I've put as much mental anguish and emotional stress into a particular project, homework, or test as I possibly can, so there's really nothing else I can do but throw in the towel and let the chips fall where they may. 

There's another interesting thing that happens at around the same time:  The crash landing.  I used to take easy calculus and physics classes that caused me a little stress every now and then, but for the most part, were very doable.  But these graduate engineering classes are killing me.  They're crushing my soul.  They're liquefying my brain.  They're burning my eyes out of their sockets.  And I've noticed that with pretty much every homework assignment, every test, every midterm, every project, and every final, I always reach a point where I honestly can't possibly do anything more or better than what I've already done, and even though I know it's completely wrong and there's no possible way it could be right, I just write down everything I know, show some equations and calculations, and hand it in.  It's a crash landing.  Even if I read every engineering book on the entire planet and went to lectures until my head imploded, I still wouldn't be able to correctly solve the problem.  The knowledge just isn't there, and it certainly won't be there if I continue trying.  And since I know the answer will be wrong, I do my best to make it look like I know what I'm doing, and I prepare for failure. 

[1] As a Christian, I can't take all the credit.  God gave me a brain and the ability to use it. #education
Degrees Dec 1, 2006
I've heard it said that a master's degree is the new standard degree.  In other words, while it used to be the norm to go to college and get a degree, now it's the norm to get a master's degree.  I see it at my job all the time.  My boss encourages everyone to take graduate classes and to eventually get a higher degree.  There must be some sort of deal where the more master's degrees his people have, the more bananas he gets (I think that's an insult.  I'm not really sure.  If it was, I didn't mean it.  I like my boss.).  So my question is this:  What's the next step?  What's gonna become the new standard?  A doctorate?  A patent?  A successful invention that's currently making boatloads of money?  The problem with all this is that it's cheapening the workforce.  Several years ago (I'm guessing here), there used to be 1 master's degree for every 10 people.  These days, it's more like 9 out of 10.  And that tenth guy is a big loser.  Actually, that tenth guy can't get a normal college degree job, so he had to settle for being a monkey cage cleaner.  My point is that there are so many overqualified people in the workforce that normal everyday people can't get good jobs.  Plus, if everybody's overqualified, the big dumb bosses (again, I like my boss) have to use some other metric to separate the sheep from the goats.  Eventually, job applicants will be lined up in height or age order and the last few on either end will get the boot.  Or, prospective employees will need to complete a series of arbitrary challenges (kinda like my idea for elections) to weed out the physically weak, untalented, and ugly. 

I say we go back to the way it used to be:  You go to college, you get a single degree, and you compete for jobs with other people who went to college and got a single degree.  Then everything will be based on a real metric:  GPA.  What better way to choose between job candidates than with a single-digit number proving how good each person is at taking tests?  None that I can think of. #education
School's 7 lessons Nov 15, 2006
The Seven-Lesson Schoolteacher is a really interesting article written by an award-winning New York state school teacher.  In trying to sum it up, I'm at a loss for words.  Two of his major points were these:  "It is the great triumph of compulsory government monopoly mass-schooling that among even the best of my fellow teachers, and among the best of my students' parents, only a small number can imagine a different way to do things" and "Some form of free-market system in public schooling is the likeliest place to look for answers, a free market where family schools and small entrepreneurial schools and religious schools and crafts schools and farm schools exist in profusion to compete with government education ... one in which students volunteer for the kind of education that suits them".  Similar to some of my previous thoughts.  Very interesting stuff from an obvious hardcore libertarian.  (via Digg) #education
Biggest regrets (1) Sep 20, 2006
Because of my blind and sometimes ignorant perseverance, I often do things past the point of rational thought.  These are the things I have the biggest regrets about.  I once said that, if I had the chance, I wouldn't go back and do many things differently because I don't think I can currently make an honest judgement call about my then-16-year-old mindset.  Things were different then.  I "grew" from those experiences. 

But one thing I'm pretty darn sure I would change is my involvement in sports.  I played soccer through my senior year of high school, but I really should've "retired" after my freshman or sophomore year.  That's when I was at the top of my game.  I was a starter, I was relatively good, and I had a great time playing.  But I really should've noticed that things were going downhill.  If freshman year was the top, sophomore year was the beginning of the end.  People started getting exponentially better by going to summer sports camps and things like that, meanwhile I stayed at the same skill level I had attained in 8th grade.  But instead of throwing in the towel and letting them retire my jersey (heh), I "stuck it out".  I continued playing in my junior year, practiced with varsity yet played with JV, and ended up spraining my ankle.  And by the time senior year rolled around, I was a committed benchwarmer, wasting my time and energy trying to attain the golden "varsity letter" I had so patiently waited my entire life to receive (unlike my dumb sisters who got easy varsity letters by playing field hockey and doing cross country [no offense; God bless their hearts]). 

And why did I persevere through stupid running drills and watching games from the sideline?  "It'll look good on your transcripts."  Yep, that's it.  A good 96% of things I did in high school were done for the purpose of "looking good on my transcripts".  What are transcripts anyway?  I've never seen them or read them.  But of course colleges read them.  Of course colleges base huge decisions and millions of dollars on a mythical piece of paper that doesn't actually exist.  Am I really supposed to believe that Stevens Institute of Technology looked at my transcript and thought, "Hmm, he's a scholar, a musician, and an athlete.  He'll do great at our school."  If they did, I'd hate to break the news to them that my athleticism didn't do me much good in college.  My musicianship hardly helped the school either, unless you consider playing guitar for the Christian group a "big help". 

Getting back on topic, I'd have to say the same thing about baseball.  I "retired" from baseball after 9th grade, only because it was the last year I was able to play for the town team.  I thought about stopping after 7th or 8th grade, but I thought, "I'll stick it out till the end, until I'm not allowed to play anymore."  Meanwhile, my playing skills peaked when I was in 4th grade, when I was pitcher and made the all-star team (quite the honor).  Everything after that was downhill. 

Thankfully, I gracefully drifted away from other sports.  I played football from 4th to 6th grade.  My last year was most likely my best, though I'll never know.  I stopped playing and started soccer (what a great decision that turned out to be).  I "retired" from basketball after 9th grade because I sat the bench and hated playing on the team.  I probably should've retired a year or two earlier, but at least I got out when I did.  I doubt it's a coincidence that my two favorite sports to play/watch are football and basketball. 

So in conclusion, I regret the things I did that I thought would eventually benefit me in some way.  I don't feel like I benefited from playing soccer those last 2 or 3 years.  I don't feel like I'm a better person because I played baseball those extra 4, 5, or 6 years.  My experience in marching band hasn't helped me get ahead in life.  Mock trial had a temporal benefit, all of which has since worn off.  Sometimes, maybe it's better to just give up. #education
Classroom experience Sep 6, 2006
I was noticing yesterday while I was in class that every class I've ever been in has had a relatively similar makeup of different kinds of people. 
Person A:  This person argues and questions everything and, though smart, slows the class down with his desire to completely understand every detail about everything.  This person puts forth a tremendous amount of work and gets a great though stressful return. 

Person B:  This person inherently knows and understands everything about everything and can calmly and conclusively shoot Person A down.  This person does little to no work and consistently succeeds with perfection. 

Person C:  This person thinks he knows what he's talking about, so he uses big words incorrectly and confusingly explains himself to the professor and the rest of the class.  In the absence of knowing how to answer this person (or where to start), everyone in the class just moves on, reaffirming this person's high opinion of himself. 

Person D:  This person has trouble understanding anything about anything and periodically asks unrelated, meaningless questions that are poorly phrased, improperly received, and incorrectly answered.  This person puts forth a tremendous amount of work and gets awful grades.  This person later becomes a manager and makes boatloads of money. 

Person E.  This person is sort of like Person B, except that he associates knowledge with weakness/uncoolness, so he doesn't apply himself and ends up getting bad grades.  If he put forth even half the amount of work as Person A, he'd do as well as Person B. 

Person F:  Me.  This person wants to punch Person A, despises Person B, can't stand listening to Person C, feels bad for Person D, shakes his finger at Person E, and generally just tries to get by.  This person believes that the best way to do well in school is by learning as little as possible. 
I've also noticed that professors are amazing people.  Especially engineering professors.  Engineers by nature are antisocial geeks who put pride in their knowledge and strive to do better than others.  That's why it seems weird to me that engineers can become teachers.  It just seems so monotonous and unrewarding.  Here's this person who spent a decade studying a very specific subject, earning various degrees and honors along the way, only to wind up in a classroom in front of a bunch of thankless, self-righteous, grade-mongerers.  I guess I just can't imagine putting a ton of work into something for the sole purpose of self-continuation.  There, I said it.  But I'm also amazed at their stamina.  These people talk about dry, boring subjects for hours on end, day after day, year after year.  Nothing changes in the way Heat Transfer or Fluid Mechanics works.  That was all settled a hundred years ago.  So I find it amazing that these people can seem interested in a subject and be ready to answer questions (from Person A and Person D) for 2.5 hours every Tuesday night.  I must applaud them. #education
Matlab Jul 10, 2006
Matlab (actually it's MATLAB, but I don't like things that are needlessly capitalized) is a math/science/engineering computer application that college professors claim is "extremely powerful" and "a must-have skill".  To students, it's "a waste of time" and "unnecessarily complicated".  What I've realized just recently is that this reaction occurs because of how it's taught.  Matlab was introduced to me in a calculus class as a program that was able to graph functions in 2D and 3D.  This ability wasn't very advanced, seeing that my handheld calculator could graph in 2D in a fraction of the time and other computer programs could graph in 3D with a nice visual interface.  The fact that Matlab had a command line said to me that it was old and useless.  Everything's graphical these days, so obviously this program is outdated. 

But then I got out of school and entered a job that uses this program pretty extensively.  And I'm finally realizing its capabilities.  It's great for analyzing huge amounts of data.  It can easily plot things, and these things (arrays, vectors, etc.) can easily be manipulated.  The program's command line is what makes it so powerful.  Essentially, it's a programming language.  You can declare variables, perform mathematical operations, use if/then statements, etc.  This is what the professors never told me.  They said it was a tool to graph math functions.  It always seemed a little redundant to write several lines of code in order to plot a function when it could be easily done in other programs with fewer steps.  Matlab's website even says, "MATLAB is a high-level language and interactive environment that enables you to perform computationally intensive tasks faster than with traditional programming languages such as C, C++, and Fortran."  The thing that sets it apart from traditional programming languages is that there's no need for a compiler.  All data and information is entered directly into Matlab through the command line or a text file (M-file).  There's no need to create an executable, though this means that Matlab's functionality can't be ported to a non-Matlab-ready device. 

All in all, it's a great program, and I wish those stupid Ph.D.'s taught it the right way.  Buncha jerks. #education
Last minute May 24, 2006
I'm taking a project management grad class, and as expected, it's the biggest waste of time anyone could have possibly fathomed.  One of the things that project management losers talk about is how more time leads to better stuff.  When you have more time to do a project, you'll get better results.  I wrote about this a while ago, saying something along the lines of how it would be nice if work and school were spaced out so that I could keep a steady pace and get a good amount of work done, instead of rushing through stuff and then sitting idly for weeks at a time.  The idea makes sense in principle.  More time means less stress, which means better quality work, which means better results. 

But in practice, I think the exact opposite is true:  The more time you have, the worse work you'll do.  And this is mainly because of laziness.  Many people have a tendency to push things off until the last minute, even when they're given ample time to do something.  So they try to cram a huge amount of work into a small amount of time, they end up cutting corners and doing sub-par work, and the final product is rushed and filled with errors.  It's true in work as well as in school. 

But all throughout school (which has taken up about 70% of my life at this point), I found that last-minute work was often very successful.  As my brother-in-law Nick says, "When you wait till the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do."  How true.  I've completed huge amounts of work and studying when there was almost no time left.  I've done amazing work in small amounts of time because I didn't sit around putting it off and thinking about it.  And even at work, I've come up with ideas and implemented them in record (small) amounts of time simply because I waited till the last minute to start working. 

The lesson I learn from this is that last minute work is often better and more productive than work that's done over a larger period of time.  So I say put things off, do nothing, and just give up.  That's the moral of the story. #education