I got a ticket last week for shooting people with a rocket launcher mounted to the front of my car.  Actually, it was because I cut somebody off, which doesn't sound nearly as bad as shooting people.  See how that works?  Anyway, this isn't my first moving violation, seeing that I'm a young male with too many natural brain chemicals and not enough brains to store them all.  But unlike my previous legal run-ins, this one came with legal junk mail.  Within a week, I got five letters in the mail from lawyers who referenced the date of my offense, the location, and the exact law that had been broken.  This seemed a little private to me, but apparently it's "legitimate" in the same way lawyers are "legitimate," i.e. there's nothing inherently illegal about allowing scum-sucking lawyers to access publicly available municipal court dockets for a fee.  This Asbury Park Press article says it's not a new thing (in New Jersey anyway); it's been around since at least 2004.  The article also says, "It is a practice lauded by some as an enterprising way for attorneys to cultivate a client base without expending excessive time and energy on marketing, but derided by others as a demeaning solicitation that casts lawyers in a bad light."  I have news for the lawyers of the world:  Too late. #lifestyle