God coincidences (2) Apr 9, 2009
As someone with a basic knowledge of probability, I know that if I pick a colored ball from a bucket of variously-colored balls, then pick another colored ball from a different bucket of variously-colored balls, there's a certain probability that both balls will be the same color.  This probability increases with more buckets, and increases even more with fewer ball colors.  It's not rocket science.  It's how things like Blackjack and the lottery work. 

Nonetheless, I'm still amazed when I manage to hear or learn something about God and then rehear/relearn it in a different setting with little time in between.  The most recent example was about personal pain and suffering, and how we have a tendency to look for a cause or a cure when we should instead be looking for a purpose.  It was the main message behind a series of sermons at one church, then it was mentioned the following week at an entirely different church, then I read it in my personal Bible study.  It's hard for me to call that a coincidence. #religion
Immigration Apr 9, 2009
As king, my immigration policy will be as follows: 
  1. To get in the country, you pay an entrance fee of $500.
  2. Once you're in the country, you have to get a job where you'll be paying taxes.
  3. Eliminate border patrol and immigration agents because they'll no longer be needed, but continue to pay them with the additional funds generated from (1) and (2) until they can find a new job.
It annoys me that the current system deports illegal immigrants if they're found out.  By doing that, our country is spending money on agents, spending money on deportation, and losing money they could've gotten from taxes.  It's a lose-lose-lose.  If we implemented my policy, it would be a win-win-win, and we wouldn't have to put any effort into it (win4) because people are literally knocking on our door to get in.  Plus, for every few thousand immigrants, there's likely to be at least a few entrepreneurs, who are exactly the sort of people who would create new jobs, which means more economic stimulation and more tax revenue.  Win6. #politics
Beer can wake brawl Apr 8, 2009
Beer can.  Wake.  Brawl.  Let's see ... how can we put these words together to form a story? 

Ah ha!  Woman with beer can in hand starts brawl at wake.  Bingo! 

As with many things, I feel this story would be best conveyed in list form: 
  1. There was a wake
  2. At a church
  3. Woman showed up with beer can in hand
  4. Woman was asked to leave but refused
  5. Woman scratched man's face
  6. Man's mother kicked woman in chest
I love every part of this article. #entertainment
Whole cashews Apr 8, 2009
I recently made the mistake of buying cashew halves and pieces instead of whole cashews.  I figured, "Meh, they're like half the price and they perform the same function.  Good enough for me."  Boy was I wrong.  Yes, they're half the price and they perform the same function, but they're not good enough for me.  I realize that whole cashews are sort of a luxury, and the halves and pieces are like the broken potato chips in the bottom of the bag:  They're an inevitable bi-product of the manufacturing process, and rather than being thrown out, they're sold to schmucks like me at a reduced price.  Well not anymore.  There was this pivotal moment when I looked at the few dollars I saved and thought to myself, "You know what, I'm worth it.  I have a job, I pay my taxes, I didn't foreclose on my house.  I deserve whole cashews."  So today I bought whole cashews. #food
Observe and Report pre-review Apr 8, 2009
Seth Rogen stars in Observe and Report, one of the best mall cop movies you'll see this year. #entertainment
Drip Apr 8, 2009
#nature
Friggin pastor Apr 7, 2009
A few weeks ago, the pastor at my church used the word "friggin" during a sermon.  Part of me didn't even flinch when I heard it.  I don't mind language like that and I wouldn't mind hearing more of it from Christian (and worldly) leaders because I think it conveys a certain amount of emotion and is a relevant way to do so.  However, another part of me cringed because I remembered why Christian leaders aren't supposed to swear or do anything else bad:  Kids are watching.  Sure enough, a kid was sitting directly in front of me, and perhaps it was just a coincidence, but right after the pastor said the word, the kid leaned over to his mom and said something, to which his mother responded strictly.  This is merely speculation, but he could've said, "Mom, he said friggin," to which the mom might've replied, "Yes, but we don't use that word."  Right there, the mother is at a significant disadvantage, because pastors are often viewed as moral equivalents to God.  If the pastor uses the word "friggin," it trumps the mother's request to refrain from it, which means it's ok to use it.  And thus completes the perfect example of why pastors shouldn't use words like friggin. #religion
Toe shoes (2) Apr 7, 2009
Vibram makes these shoes called FiveFingers that are like toe socks, but in shoe form.  They supposedly make you feel like you're wearing nothing on your feet at all, while still allowing you to run and hike and do other non-barefoot activities.  Weird.  Looks like something Wendy would like. 
[Image: fivefingers.png]
(via Cool Tools) #products
Meal of snacks Apr 7, 2009
When I was a kid, my weekend lunches consisted of an assortment of finger foods from the fridge.  Cheese and crackers, pickles, olives, apples, oranges, celery and peanut butter.  It was essentially a meal made up of snacks.  However, at some point in my personal evolution, I determined that a "normal" person needs a "normal" meal to function "normally".  Normal meals include meat and vegetables, unless it's pizza, which oddly falls outside any rules regarding normality, but which (also oddly) makes up about 20% of my food intake. 

Just in the past few weeks and months, I've been getting back to my practice of eating meals of snacks.  A few times a week, my dinner is an apple with peanut butter, and anything else I can find in the fridge that can be eaten without utensils (this also hints at my avoidance of dishwashing).  And I don't feel bad about this.  As long as I eat enough non-candy food items to prevent me from dying, I'm doing ok. #food
Equal Apr 7, 2009
I really like the logo for the Human Rights Campaign, even though I'm not an L, G, B, or a T. 
[Image: hrc.gif]
#sociology