Valet no tip Oct 14, 2008
In establishments where valet parking is mandatory, I enjoy giving the parking attendants no tip.  It makes me feel like I'm doing something to fix the system.  The way I see it, I'm perfectly capable of parking my own damn car.  In fact, I do so quite often.  In fact part deux, I'm relatively good at it (except when I scrape my hubcaps on a curb, which just happened last week).  Either way, I believe I'm better than a bunch of strangers hurriedly trying to pack unfamiliar cars into tighter spaces than what they were designed for.  By not tipping, I'm probably costing people their jobs, which in effect will eventually force the establishment to do away with valet parking, seeing as how none of their employees are making any money. 

Or they'll just start charging for it, at which point I will opt out of attending any event at their establishment.  Either way I win, because I always win. #business
Duct tape bandages Oct 14, 2008
This apparently isn't new news, but Nexcare makes duct tape bandages. 
[Image: ducttapebandage.jpg]
Never has being maimed looked so cool.  (via Boing Boing) #products
Meaningless repetition Oct 14, 2008
Repetition almost always removes meaning.  Whether it's saying the same prayer day in and day out, using the same buzz words in everything you say, or copying and pasting the same text into the bottom of every email.  Seeing it and hearing it over and over subtracts from its meaning. #psychology
My big fat gay wedding (1) Oct 13, 2008
I went to my first gay wedding this weekend.  Actually, it was a lesbian wedding.  What an experience.  Setting aside the moral issue for a moment (because I haven't completely made up my mind [not if I'm gay or not, but whether I think it's ok or not or whatever]), I learned several things and had several questions answered. 
  1. Who wears the dress?  The answer is they both do.  Well, sort of.  One girl had on more of a dress, the other had on more of a pant suit (but not a Hillary Clinton pant suit), but it was flowy and dress-like.  Both outfits were the same color, off-white.
  2. Is it legal?  In New Jersey, as of right now, yes.
  3. Which one is the wife?  They both are.  The ceremony said, "I, [girl1], take you, [girl2], to be my wife," and then, "I, [girl2], take you, [girl1], to be my wife."
  4. How did the bridal party work?  This part was weird.  Each bride had a matron of honor.  But then one bride had a best man, but this best man was a girl, and a lesbian at that.  I'm not sure why she couldn't have just been another maid/matron of honor.
  5. Was it in a church?  Yes, an Episcopal Church, which has loose beliefs about homosexuality.
  6. What about the reception?  The reception was probably the most normal, or at least familiar, part.  Each bride danced with her father.  There was food and drink in abundance.  However, there was no bouquet toss or garter ceremony, which was fine by me.
  7. Were there any other lesbians?  Good God yes.  I've never seen so many lesbians in all my life.  The happy couple met via a female rugby team, all of which is at the very least bisexual (ok, not all of them).
#lifestyle
On the influence of politics over religion (1) Oct 13, 2008
Before I start, let me assert my belief in and adherence to (or at least attempted adherence to) the Christian faith.  I believe in the God who created the heavens and the earth, the Biblical account of God's work on earth, and the man Jesus Christ who was sacrificed for the forgiveness of the sins of anyone who believes in him, for the purpose of being granted access to the presence of God.  This is my faith.  It's what I believe.  Now to the topic at hand. 

First, I don't believe the government should have any say in any situation concerning religion or morality.  I don't believe that's the function of the government, and I was under the impression that that's actually one of the reasons the country was founded.  Freedom of religion is a major benefit to living in the U.S., and as such, it doesn't make sense to favor one religion over another or attempt to ingrain the tenets of one into the practices of the nation's people. 

Second, I don't feel that politicians are in any position to be moral authorities over anyone in any situation for any reason.  A casual observation of the national news will proclaim the fact that politicians are professional liars, disgusting slime who cheat, steal, murder, and then lie about all of the above.  If there's one thing you can learn from the news, it's that politicians are the absolute opposite of morality.  So to have politicians campaigning for laws regarding abortion, gay marriage, and any other hot button issue is just ridiculous. 

Lastly, the United States is no longer a Christian nation.  It's about time we face that fact.  The polls say the majority of Americans believe in the God of Christianity.  I'm sorry, but that's just not true.  Or at least if it is true, these people have a very superficial belief in this God, largely ignoring most of what His Bible says.  Regardless of this, it's just not accurate to say we are a Christian nation.  So to have fights and disagreements over the marking of currency and the inclusion of the Ten Commandments in the court system is just stupid.  Let the people decide. #religion
Pick a name Oct 10, 2008
I get annoyed by people who let other people decide what name to call them.  "Yeah my name is Mike.  Or Michael.  Or Mikey.  Or MO.  Or Mr. Awesome.  Whatever."  Just pick a name, then go by it.  Don't force other people to figure out what to call you. #psychology
Wraps Oct 8, 2008
I'm a big fan of wraps.  Hence my current fascination with faux Mexican food.  To me, the bread portion of a sandwich is merely a holder.  Something to keep my hands clean.  Perhaps my attitude would change if I ate some unbelievably great-tasting breads, but as it stands, bread is a functional food, not a pleasurable food.  Wraps simply take the concept of bread and make it better.  Instead of just covering the top and bottom of a sandwich, they wrap around it.  Instead of being half an inch thick (give or take), they're something like an eighth of an inch thick.  If given the choice, I'd choose a wrap over bread in pretty much any situation. #food
Sore loser Oct 8, 2008
I'm a sore loser.  Big time.  If I can't win, I don't want to play.  I've always been this way.  As a kid, I'd cry every time I lost.  People would say, "It's just a game, Dave.  Don't be such a sore loser."  And I would think, "I wouldn't be such a sore loser if I could just win a few times.  Jerk." 

Here I am, 26 damn years old, and I'm still a sore loser.  I thought I'd grow out of it.  I thought I'd finally realize that life isn't all about winning, it's how you play the game.  Or maybe I could come to the realization that there are winners and losers, and even the most famous winners have lost at some point in their lives.  Or maybe that a winning attitude is what it's all about. 

But all those stupid quips about winning and losing never helped.  It's all about winning.  If you can't win, don't play.  It's not how you play the game, it's about winning.  A winning attitude isn't worth squat if you lose in the end. 

This is obviously an issue for me. #sports
Apple cider vs. juice Oct 7, 2008
What's the difference between apple cider and apple juice?  It could be: 
(a) Cider is raw squeezed apple juice that hasn't been filtered or pasteurized, while juice is filtered, pasteurized and vacuum-sealed to make it last longer,

OR

(b) Nothing; it's just a marketing ploy to sell more liquid apple extract during holiday seasons. 
Because of lax legal definitions, it depends on the bottler and the area in which it's sold. #food
Mexican-American cuisine Oct 7, 2008
Mexican-American cuisine (also referred to as faux Mexican on this website) is wrought with confusion.  And this post will do nothing to fix that.  Rather, in an effort to shed light on the confusion, I hope to generate awareness for the problem at hand and further gather support to help fix this issue that plagues our post-Mexican-American-cuisine-invaded nation. 

The American Heritage dictionary defines burrito as, "A flour tortilla wrapped around a filling, as of beef, beans, or cheese."  Fair enough.  Wikipedia further confuses things by adding that "ingredients such as spanish rice, beans, lettuce, salsa, meat, guacamole, cheese, and sour cream" can also be a part of this strange concoction. 

Summing up all the knowledge contained on the internet, a burrito is a bunch of stuff wrapped in a flour tortilla.  Fine.  Moving on. 

The dictionary defines fajita as, "A dish consisting of strips of marinated meat, poultry, or vegetables that are grilled over an open fire and served in a tortilla, usually with spicy condiments."  Wikipedia adds, "Popular condiments are sour cream, guacamole, salsa, pico de gallo, cheese, and tomato."  It goes on to say something about how the inclusion of rice and/or beans is tantamount to sacrificing children over an open pit fire, i.e. rice and beans = burrito. 

So again, summing up the internet's knowledge of the subject, a fajita is a bunch of stuff wrapped in a flour tortilla.  BUT NO RICE OR BEANS.  IF YOU ADD RICE OR BEANS, MAY THE GODS EAT YOUR SOUL. 

What about tacos?  That's easy:  "A corn tortilla folded around a filling such as ground meat or cheese."  And what does Wikipedia say?  It can also have "salsa and vegetables such as cilantro, onion, cabbage, tomato, or lettuce." 

So a taco is a bunch of stuff shoved into a folded corn tortilla.  Corn tortilla.  Not wrapped.  Key difference. 

Taking things one step further, the dictionary says a quesadilla is "A flour tortilla folded in half around a savory filling, as of cheese or beans, then fried or toasted."  I didn't know the dictionary could use opinionated words like "savory."  Wikipedia says you can also add meat and other ingredients.  The main difference between a quesadilla and a burrito is that a "the quesadilla is cooked after being filled or stuffed, while a taco or burrito is filled with pre-cooked ingredients." 

So a quesadilla is a bunch of raw stuff shoved into a folded tortilla and cooked. 

I'm noticing a pattern here.  Mexican-American food is all exactly the same, but with different names to denote teeny tiny differences.  Wikipedia thankfully has a list of several other tortilla-based foods, including the chalupa, the enchilada, and the taquito, all of which are some unimaginative yet delicious combination of meat, vegetables, and cheese wrapped or folded in a tortilla shell. #food