In establishments where valet parking is mandatory, I enjoy giving the parking attendants no tip.  It makes me feel like I'm doing something to fix the system.  The way I see it, I'm perfectly capable of parking my own damn car.  In fact, I do so quite often.  In fact part deux, I'm relatively good at it (except when I scrape my hubcaps on a curb, which just happened last week).  Either way, I believe I'm better than a bunch of strangers hurriedly trying to pack unfamiliar cars into tighter spaces than what they were designed for.  By not tipping, I'm probably costing people their jobs, which in effect will eventually force the establishment to do away with valet parking, seeing as how none of their employees are making any money. 

Or they'll just start charging for it, at which point I will opt out of attending any event at their establishment.  Either way I win, because I always win. #business