Small tornado Aug 11, 2008
I heard on the news last week that a small tornado passed through a town in the midwest.  Perhaps I'm naive, but is there such a thing as a "small" tornado?  Isn't a tornado a tornado?  A destructive, swirling vortex of wind and debris can't really be described as "small". #nature
Selfish wedding Aug 7, 2008
Tomorrow (i.e. Friday), I'm going to a wedding.  It's a morning wedding, a.k.a. an all-day wedding.  So yes, it's an all-day wedding on a Friday.  This is possibly the most selfish wedding ever.  "We're gonna need you to go ahead and take a day off work so you can watch us get married, stuff cake in each other's facial orifices, and drink lots of liquor.  Yeah, thanks."  It's one thing if you have a destination wedding and you expect people to decline the invitation because they don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a faux vacation that's centered around people other than themselves.  But it's another thing to have a local wedding and expect everyone to use up some of their precious vacation time.  Yes, I could've declined, but that would've looked selfish.  Ironic. #lifestyle
Die already, fax machine (1) Aug 7, 2008
The cell phone that currently resides in my pocket can send and receive email and access the internet, essentially giving me the entire world's collective information and knowledge.  YET, we still use fax machines.  I only use one around once a month, but each time it's like a lesson in the history of technology.  "So I have to print out this piece of paper?  Then I have to put it in this machine?  Then I have to dial a phone number?"  Sooooo much of what I work on is already digital (i.e. not on paper) that it's a huge disruption to have to print something out and fax it.  Why don't people just use email?  It's trivially easy to use a scanner (if you absolutely need to use paper) and email a PDF.  Why won't fax machines just die already? #technology
Amazing Grace weirdness Aug 4, 2008
The original version of Amazing Grace, as written by John Newton, has a stanza that goes like this: 
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call'd me here below,
Will be forever mine.
I get the point, but "the earth shall soon dissolve like snow"?  Yikes.  That's a little unsettling. #entertainment
No cheeseburger (8) Aug 4, 2008
When exactly did our nation's favorite meal, the hamburger, become so difficult to obtain at our nation's favorite pastime, the barbecue?  Every BBQ I go to dishes out cheeseburgers by default.  Yes, cheeseburgers.  I have nothing against people who eat cheeseburgers.  As the Bible says, "Whatever you want to put on your hamburger, go for it.  It's your hamburger."  But why are cheeseburgers the default meat-on-a-bun meal?  Once you put cheese on a hamburger, you can't uncheese it (you can try, but it's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube), much in the same way you can't untoast toast.  My argument is this:  Only make hamburgers, then let the end user decide if he/she wants cheese, just like the end user decides if he/she wants ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo (yuck), bacon, bacon bits, or bacon-flavored ketchup.  The counterargument (from the whiny cheeseburger fanboys) is "Waa waa the cheese isn't melty."  My counter-counterargument is "Grab that burger right off the grill, and slap that cheese on when it's nice and hot.  Problem solved, loser." #food
Third person parents Aug 1, 2008
I wonder at what point in the life of a parent the reference to self changes from "I" to "Mommy".  I for one can't remember a single instance of either one of my parents referring to themselves in the third person.  I think that's good.  Referring to yourself like you're the external narrator of your own life story is weird.  And what must kids think? 
Mom:  "Mommy doesn't like cheeseburgers." 
Kid:  Which Mommy is she talking about?  Her name is Mommy, but there are a lot of Mommies out there.
#language
No city is like New York City Aug 1, 2008
I don't know if it's because I grew up an hour away from New York City, or if everyone does this:  I compare every city I travel to with New York City, and no city quite compares.  No city seems as big, or has as many tall buildings, or has as many flashing lights, or is as active around the clock, or has an many cool things as New York.  I wonder if people from Philadelphia or Boston or Los Angeles compare other cities to their own, only to find that their city doesn't quite measure up.  I feel like New York is at the top, and everyone else is competing for second place.  Again, this could be because of my geographical proximity.  But I'm not even a city person.  I would feel this way whether I lived an hour away or a world away. #travel
Movie critic lemmings Aug 1, 2008
Sometimes I think movie critics just say what they think people want to hear.  "Incredible cinematography!"  Really?  Is that what caught your eye, or was it the little robot who talked funny?  "Creative and original, deeply moving."  Was it?  Or is that what you think the guy from the Times is gonna say?  I wish movie critics spoke like normal people and said what they really thought.  "I liked the part where the robots fought each other and blew up the entire city."  Now that's something I can believe.  "Made me laugh until I shot Sprite out my nose!"  That's a movie I'd like to see.  "That movie sucked."  Simple, and to the point. #entertainment
Movies and wasted time (2) Aug 1, 2008
I watched a movie the other night (actually a 2-part movie, for a total of four hours), and I kept waiting for that moment where I could finally say, "Wow, that was totally worth it."  That moment never came, and those four hours are lost forever.  The weird thing is that the movie received great reviews and is highly regarded for its originality and creativity.  I guess it was creative, but that's not what I like about movies.  What an absolute waste of time, Kill Bill. #entertainment
Library financials Aug 1, 2008
I've been getting some books from the library recently, and I've even watched a few movies.  The thing that doesn't make sense to me is, how is this not considered stealing?  Yes, I realize the library buys the books and movies they have in their possession, and yes I realize my tax dollars fund the purchase of said items.  But if I buy a book from Amazon, I pay $10-$20, and I know that at least some of that money goes directly to the writer.  By borrowing it from the library, I'm using a copy that was only paid for once, which means the writer is losing out on the money I would've paid if I bought it myself.  By reading it and not paying, I'm essentially stealing.  Do libraries have some sort of licensing agreement with writers and publishers? #money