ddhr.org - No cheeseburger

When exactly did our nation's favorite meal, the hamburger, become so difficult to obtain at our nation's favorite pastime, the barbecue? Every BBQ I go to dishes out cheeseburgers by default. Yes, cheeseburgers. I have nothing against people who eat cheeseburgers. As the Bible says, "Whatever you want to put on your hamburger, go for it. It's your hamburger." But why are cheeseburgers the default meat-on-a-bun meal? Once you put cheese on a hamburger, you can't uncheese it (you can try, but it's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube), much in the same way you can't untoast toast. My argument is this: Only make hamburgers, then let the end user decide if he/she wants cheese, just like the end user decides if he/she wants ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo (yuck), bacon, bacon bits, or bacon-flavored ketchup. The counterargument (from the whiny cheeseburger fanboys) is "Waa waa the cheese isn't melty." My counter-counterargument is "Grab that burger right off the grill, and slap that cheese on when it's nice and hot. Problem solved, loser." #food

Comments

Rus

Aug 4, 2008

Now Dave. Everyone knows that you're only asking for trouble if you give the end user too many options. What with buns, ketchup, mustard, etc....you really need to draw the line before the whole burger system crashes. More options will bog down the system.

Dave

Spoken like a true IT fascist.

BBQ fascist!

Jenn B

i have to agree, the logistics on having cheese lying around next to the ketchup & chips...not pretty. Besides, the only good reason to not want (good bubbly melty) cheese on your burger is dairy allergy/lactose intolerance, in which case you need to present your case in writing before attending (or at least walk up to the grillmaster & say the word "dairy allergy" the red carpet will be rolled out), and a 'safe' burger can be laid aside for you.

& i'm not hating on the poor allergic. My son is one of them. It's just logistics.

Wendy

Aug 5, 2008

Did you know that "An estimated 30 to 50 million Americans (about 25% of the United States population) are affected by lactose intolerance. (Source: excerpt from Lactose Intolerance: NWHIC)"? That's 1 in 4 people who cannot eat cheese and we're not even including people like me who don't like cheese. So I ask you this, readers of ddhr.org, why in the world does EVERY* sandwich in America have cheese? And why must I tell the shocked person behind the counter that I don't want cheese on my sandwich (link).

*Ok maybe not EVERY sandwich, but the next time you go out to eat, try and find a sandwich listed on the menu without cheese. They're aren't many.

I don't have lactose intolerance, I just don't like cheese.

Aug 11, 2008

I think we as a nation have this all backwards. Hamburgers should be the de facto meat offering at a BBQ, and cheeseburgers should be offered as an option. Not the other way around. I totally disagree with you, Jenn B. If you ever come to a BBQ at my house, I'll give you a hamburger, then act surprised and disgusted when you ask for cheese on it. And I'm not lactose intolerant, I just don't like cheeseburgers.

excellent points team Hosier. it is somewhat ironic that i would lobby for the cheeseburger standard anyway, seeing as how i'm anti-consumption of pasteurized dairy & the 'cheese' that would be served at most bbq's is hardly even cheese at all ("cheese food product"). I'm just one of those average selfish americans that like to think that whatever i like is what the general population likes.

I would have to agree with Jenn on this, "I'm just one of those average selfish americans that like to think that whatever i like is what the general population likes." Obviously Team Hosier thinks the same way :)

Payal

Aug 27, 2008

This is so random and completely out of the blue, but reminds me of a joke:

An American goes to England and asks the hotel receptionist to point him in the direction of the elevator. The receptionist says, "We do not have elevators, but the lift is to your left." The American says, "Oh! We call them the elevator." The receptionist says, "Since, we invented the language, we call it the lift." To this, the American answers, "Oh, I see! Since, we invented the elevator, we call it the elevator."

Some weird association w/ the hamburgers and cheese and US.