Eye of Nemo May 14, 2008
Nemo the cat (the nice one), age 3. 



Reminds me of the Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings. 
[Image: eyeofsauron.jpg]
#nature
Church security (2) May 14, 2008
Churches these days have been adopting a new practice:  Employing, either for pay or volunteer, security people for a variety of reasons.  One of the churches I go to meets in a hotel, so their security people are mostly there to make sure the hotel guests don't steal any kids from the nursery.  It makes some sense, and it's less about physical enforcement and more about just being aware. 

But their other role, as I just learned from one of them last night, is literally to protect the pastors.  This is weird.  The reason is because there are a lot of crazy people out there, and if a crazy person has something against a particular church, they're likely to go directly for the pastor.  This probably has at least something to do with the fact that this church meets in a hotel.  But it's also because of the recent church shootings in Colorado, where a guy went into two churches and just starting shooting people, finally being brought down by none other than a volunteer church security person with a gun. 

The security people at my church don't carry guns, but they do wear ear pieces like they're in the Secret Service.  And while all the other church volunteers wear happy blue t-shirts, the security people wear black ones.  My security friend said he probably wouldn't be willing to take a bullet for one of the pastors (at least he's honest), but any confrontation would probably be squelched pretty quickly by the presence of several men in black shirts wearing ear pieces. 

One of my new favorite websites, Stuff Christians Like, recently wrote about this. #religion
Doing the same thing differently (4) May 13, 2008
It's oddly interesting to notice two people doing the same thing differently.  To get into work, I have to pass through a gate where people check my ID.  I don't mean this in a bad way, but the people who check my ID are like robots:  They just do what they're told.  They sometimes know why they're doing it, but sometimes they don't.  It's interesting to watch this being played out.  Some guys take a quick look at my ID and pass me through.  Other guys look more closely.  And still other guys look at my ID, turn it over, and hold it up to my face to make sure the picture matches my face.  I find it hard to believe that any of these guys got their instructions from a different person.  They were all told to do the same thing, but some guys took it literally while other guys took it slightly less literally.  It's like a psychological experiment. #psychology
Bodies in the crowd May 12, 2008
This morning, my boss came to my office to ask me to attend an "award celebration", i.e. to be a body in the crowd so our organization doesn't look like a bunch of lazy jerks.  We were being presented with an award we don't understand, did nothing to deserve, and which won't positively or negatively affect us in any way.  But they served chocolate cake at the end, so I'm over it. 

Update (2008-05-14 12:47pm):  Actually it very positively affects us:  We get a half day! #business
Multitasking is dumb May 12, 2008
Multitasking:  Working on several things at once, completing none of them. #language
Forgot my watch (4) May 12, 2008
I'm a geek.  I wear a watch religiously.  I've been known to throw my watch-wearing in people's faces with such witticisms as, "If you really wanted to know the time, you'd get your own damn watch, jerk."  Wearing a watch is probably my longest-running habit, starting when I was about 10.  I wear my watch every day.  In school, at work, to church, on weekends, on vacation, in a tent in the middle of the woods.  Second to breathing, watch-wearing is the most regular thing I do. 

Today, I forgot to put my watch on. 

This is troubling for a number of reasons.  For one, it's a habit.  I've been wearing a watch every day for about 15 years.  Like every friggin day.  Everywhere.  All the time.  Since I'm not a morning person, I robotically follow a very simple yet reliable system in the morning:  Shower, dress, put things in pockets and put watch on, drink warm liquid, go to work.  I don't deviate much from that pattern.  Somehow I managed to put the things in my pockets without putting my watch on.  It's like I got dressed in the shower. 

Second, it's Monday, which inevitably means some stupid meeting will appear out of nowhere and ruin my lunch break, which it did.  And of course it's Monday, so I forgot to bring my lunch, which means I had to go out and get my lunch, which means I had to keep checking my watch to make sure I got back in time, which means I was reminded again and again of the fact that I forgot to wear my watch. 

Third, this is my last week at work before going on vacation.  So of course I need to check my watch to see what day it is.  And of course I can't remember even though I just checked 3 minutes ago. 

The funny thing is that I'm at a computer all day, so I can easily check the time and date there.  There's a clock on my desk phone.  There's a clock on another part of my desk.  There's a clock in my car.  And of course I carry a cell phone.  There's really no shortage of timekeeping devices, yet I still feel like a chicken without a head.  What a ridiculous situation my habits (and breaking them) have gotten me into. #technology
Squirrels stealing my nuts (1) May 9, 2008
There are these squirrels living in the trees in my backyard, and they act like they're committing a crime by eating some of the 70 billion acorns scattered all over the god-forsaken place. 
[Image: squirrels.png]
I wish I could send a message to these little guys and say, "Hey, you don't have to hide in the trees, rummage through rocks, or scurry around in the leaves.  You can take as many friggin acorns as you want.  There are 70 billion of them." #nature
Old people in my way May 9, 2008
I'm an ageist.  I discriminate based on age.  Everybody does.  Old people and their AARP.  Young people and their loud music.  Stereotypes wouldn't exist if they weren't true. 

I got my blood tested on Tuesday.  In order to make it to work on time, I showed up at the blood test center as soon as it opened, which was 7am.  To my surprise, there was already a line of 10 people ahead of me, and it was exactly 7am.  Guess who these people were?  Old people.  There was the old guy with his young daughter.  There was the old guy with big sideburns like he still thought it was 1972.  There was the old guy in the leisure suit with the top unzipped and nothing underneath (I wish I was kidding about that, but I'm not).  No less than 75% of the room was old people.  Now I understand that old people have health problems, and the best way to cure health problems is bloodletting (that's still all the rage, right?).  All I'm trying to say is this:  Old people, you have nothing else to do.  No schedule.  No obligations.  No nothing.  So would it be possible for you to stay out of my way?  I understand you wake up before dawn because that's what old people do.  I understand you want to get your doctor stuff out of the way to free up your schedule.  I understand you don't want to wait in line, so you try to do things first thing in the morning.  But guess what?  You're interfering with the way the world works.  The world has a job.  The world has a schedule.  The world pays for your social security and Medicare benefits.  So let's get this straight:  We agree to turn our heads when you accidentally think the gas pedal is the brake, and you get your blood tested sometime around 10:30.  Thanks. #psychology
Where to lay down May 9, 2008
If you're a cat (which you're not because cats can't use computers or the internet or even read), you have two options in life: 

  1. Lay down on an object such as a towel, a blanket, a napkin, a shirt, or a pillow.
  2. Lay down in a sunny spot.
In this case, Dilbert chose the second option, in the middle of the kitchen floor, with Wendy in the background doing dishes.  It was a tough choice. #nature
California cancer chemicals May 9, 2008
I've always wondered what these warning labels meant: 
"WARNING: This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm."
Since this is on sooo many everyday products, is it something I should be worried about?  Why does only California know about it?  Why doesn't any other state know?  If it was a legitimate issue, wouldn't the product be outlawed?  Maybe Californians are extra cautious about cancer? 

It turns out it has something to do with a law passed in California in 1986 called the Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act of 1986, or Proposition 65.  This law requires the state to annually update a list of 700+ chemicals that are known to cause health problems.  A group of scientists and industry experts determines which chemicals are added and occasionally removed from the list.  The general qualification for a chemical that causes cancer is that if 100,000 people are exposed to it for 70 years, more than one person would get cancer.  Whether that's a fair qualification or not, I have no idea. 

In my "research" for this post, two things stood out to me:  (1) This information was surprisingly hard to find.  I would think it would be in everyone's best interest for someone to make an easy-to-find, easy-to-understand website with simple yet thorough information about a warning label that shows up on billions of products around the country.  (2) There's no answer as to why California is the only state that created such a list, or why the federal government hasn't adopted a similar list.  This leaves me with two possible conclusions.  Either California is full of extremely smart people who know a lot of stuff about a lot of things and have decided that certain chemicals can cause certain health problems in certain doses and certain situations, or exactly the opposite; i.e. California is full of fruits and nuts.  I'm sure both conclusions are true, but the second one doesn't have much effect on me getting cancer. #products