Uncultured (1) Apr 2, 2008
I'm incredibly uncultured, and I have every intention of staying that way for the rest of my life.  I've made it this far with my superstitions and my offensive beliefs.  There's no reason to change now. 

A few weeks ago I went to a gathering at a co-worker's house.  He lives with his wife in the "cool section" of Jersey City, which is painfully close to the "bad section".  At one point, some thug kids were sitting on the hood of his car, which was parked on the street in front of his house.  I alerted him to this fact, and he said, "Yeah, that's what they do around here." 

I was invited to the gathering under the pretext that there'd be make-your-own tacos and we'd be playing fun and exciting games.  Both of these promises came true, but there was more.  In addition to the normal taco ingredients, there were at least a few un-normal taco ingredients, one of which was a vegetable root called jicama.  I was coaxed into trying this anomaly by people who like trying new things, and I wasn't too impressed.  It tasted like a cross between an apple and a potato, which, as one would expect, isn't a good mixture.  It wasn't awful.  It didn't make me puke, but I definitely have no desire to try it again.  I should've gone home at that point. 

But then I looked at all the books on their bookshelves.  They had cool books.  Smart people books.  Books about philosophy and history and religion and philosohistogion.  A bunch of the books were college textbooks, but not textbooks I'm used to.  My textbooks are all boringly the same:  Three word titles that start with "Introduction To," "Fundamentals of," or "Advanced," followed by the word "Engineering" and some sort of subtopic involving math, physics, energy, heat, or fluids.  This is why I sold all my old college textbooks.  They make my eyes bleed.  But these philosohistogion textbooks were cool.  Not even in the "it's cool that you read that book" way, but in the "it's cool that you have that book" way.  If I were to judge a person by the books they have on their bookshelf, I'd say these people were intelligent, interesting, and cultured.  If someone were to judge me by the books on my bookshelf, they'd say, "What are you, five?" 

Later discussions focused on shopping experiences at Whole Foods (I've never been; sounds culture-y), homemade and non-Anheuser-Busch beers, and foreign-sounding deserts.  Everyone kept saying, "This is really good flan," "This is excellent flan," "This flan is great."  I was like, "What the heck is flan?"  I opted for the tres leches cake, which apparently translates to "disgusting, mushy conglomeration soaked in alcohol".  Both cakes were completely gone in a few minutes, and that's when I finally decided I'm not cut out for this "culture" thing. #sociology
Blackberry vs. black raspberry (16) Apr 2, 2008
I grew up on a spacious tract of land that housed two separate types of nature-grown black berries.  One was the blackberry (left), and the other was the black raspberry (right), or black cap. 
[Image: blackberries.png]
Blackberries are larger and much more sour than black raspberries, but because of their size, they're also juicier.  They're quite edible and useful for making desserts, jams, and wine (none of which have been made by me).  Black raspberries, also known as black caps, grow like weeds and contain a very powerful purple dye, which will stain hands and clothing for days. #food
Church walkout (4) Apr 2, 2008
Sometimes I sit in church and pay careful attention to what the pastor is saying, not so I can learn from him and become a better Christian, but so I can catch him saying something anti-Biblical or otherwise cult-ish, at which point I would violently arise from my seat to the gasps of those nearby and shout, "That man's a liar and a thief," then triumphantly march out the door, likely to be followed by the many people who noticed the same anti-Biblical or otherwise cult-ish aspect of the sermon and were fearfully yet patiently waiting and hoping for someone to stand up and walk out.  It hasn't happened yet. #religion