Meetings and travel time (2) Feb 19, 2008
On Thursday, I'll be driving three hours for a meeting that might last as long as five hours, then driving another three hours home.  That's a total of six hours of travel for a five hour meeting.  I think we, as an intelligent, economical society, should create a rule regarding this.  Perhaps as follows: 
Rule 1:  "Travel time for a meeting shall not exceed one-half of the proposed length of the meeting."
That way, I'd only be allowed to travel two and a half hours total for my five hour meeting.  Alternately, my meeting would have to last twelve hours to make up for the six hours of travel time.  In that case I propose an amendment: 
Rule 1a:  "What are you, kidding?  A twelve hour meeting?  Don't you people realize meetings waste money?"
#business
Shotguns for zombies Feb 19, 2008
I've played a few video games in my day.  I wouldn't call myself a "gamer" per se.  I've never worn a headset while playing a video game.  But I've played enough to know I like first-person shooters, and I've played enough first-person shooters to notice a common thread:  Zombies.  I'm surprised by how many games are centered around the act of killing zombies.  And it's weird how the zombie-killing portion often doesn't show up until half-way through a game.  Both HALO (the first one) and Half-Life 2 have this in common.  I'm admittedly very late in playing the original HALO, but it's no surprise why the game got such great reviews.  I was thoroughly surprised, however, when my Sunday afternoon quickly went from casually killing aliens to frantically running from zombies.  My sniper rifle had to take a rest as I took out the one weapon that always kills zombies:  The shotgun. 

For whatever reason, shotguns kill zombies.  Machine guns do not.  Pistols don't work either.  And you're taking your life in your own hands if you think you can fight one with some sort of close combat weapon like a knife or the butt of a gun.  No matter what game, setting, or plot line, shotguns always kill zombies.  It's the only thing you ever need to know.  In video games, and in life. 

It's also interesting that zombies always come in four types: 
  1. Head crabs, which are little animals that attach to the head of a victim and turn them into a zombie
  2. Head crab hosts, which seem to carry a bunch of head crabs around in a sack
  3. Little zombies, which are small, fast, and jumpy
  4. Big zombies, which are slow, stupid, and easy to kill
By playing video games centered around zombies, it'll prepare us for real life, where the dead will one day rise and slowly, moaningly, come after us to eat us. #entertainment
Filling digital storage (2) Feb 15, 2008
It seems like every time the following statement is uttered, "X gigabytes?  I'll never fill that amount of space," we find another way to fill up digital storage space. 

In 1998, my family got its first internet-connected computer.  It had a 10 GB hard drive.  We thought, "We'll never fill that amount of space."  Sure enough, with each new version of Windows and each new digital hobby (mp3s in this case), 10 GB filled up fast. 

I had a similar thought with my laptop in college.  It was around 12 GB, and I knew I could fill it up, but I doubted it would happen.  Then I was introduced to software bloat, where each new version of a program comes packed with more and more useless cruft, taking up more and more precious storage space. 

My current laptop has a 60 GB hard drive.  I recently noticed it was about 85% full.  How is that even possible?  I don't have much digital music, I hardly have any software, and I don't download movies.  It turns out Windows XP takes up a good 8 GB somehow, and five years of digital pictures definitely add up (especially when the resolution keeps increasing).  Oh, and seasons 2 and 3 of the Office don't help.  But that still leaves 20 GB unaccounted for. 

As technology advances and storage space multiplies, we keep finding ways to fill it up.  It started with mp3s.  It went to digital pictures.  Then it went to higher resolution digital pictures (with larger file sizes).  Then it went to movies.  Then it went to TV shows.  I wonder what we'll fill the first terabyte hard drive with? #technology
Naked Cowboy sues Mars Feb 14, 2008
I can't really add much to this headline:  Naked Cowboy sues Mars

The picture in my head is of a literally naked cowboy (with those fuzzy images covering his naughty bits) suing the planet Mars.  I would definitely click on that link to read more. 

But no, the story is about this guy in Times Square who wears only tighty whities and cowboy boots and plays guitar for the millions of people who pass through the area every day.  He's apparently pretty famous.  It turns out Mars, Inc. (the company that makes M&Ms, Snickers, Milky Way, Three Musketeers, Dove, and Cocoavia) played an ad that showed an M&M in a similar costume, and this strange naked man got offended that his trademark logo was used without his permission. 

So that's definitely not as interesting as the story could have been, but it's still pretty good. #entertainment
Writing these things Feb 14, 2008
When I'm writing things for this website, I like when it's a simple thing that requires little to no thought.  Like the thing about crack in butts.  That one pretty much wrote itself.  Even the thing about presenteeism was pretty easy.  It pretty much just poured out of my head and onto the screen.  But the most recent one was different.  I kept writing things and deleting them, leaving my computer and coming back.  I couldn't decide what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it.  And then I ended up with what's there.  It seems like there was very little thought put into it, but it was actually quite mentally taxing.  Usually if writing something takes longer than 15 minutes, the quality and efficiency decrease exponentially with time. #technology
Too soon (7) Feb 14, 2008
I know a woman whose husband passed away one year ago, and she just recently started dating (sorry if anyone reading this knows who I'm talking about or is in any way related to the persons mentioned; no offense is meant to anyone living or deceased).  This begs the question:  How soon is too soon?  How soon after your spouse dies are you justified in re-entering the dating world?  It's a tough question, but I have a pretty simple answer:  At least two years. 

My answer is based on two things:  (1) The mourning period, and (2) respect.  The period of time after something is lost varies greatly depending on what was lost.  For a dead fish, the mourning period might be a few days.  For a broken relationship in high school, it might be a few weeks.  For a dead dog, it might be a few months.  For a deceased relative or friend, it could be several years, or maybe forever.  The bottom line is that the proper amount of time to mourn a deceased spouse is definitely greater than one year.  Mourning doesn't necessarily mean sitting around on your couch crying over pictures and memories.  Mourning is different for different people and different losses.  But I think it's safe to say the proper way to mourn the loss of a spouse is by not entering into another relationship. 

That idea borders on the second part:  Respect.  In any romantic/dating relationship, there's a certain amount of time after the relationship ends when no new dating/romantic relationships should be formed.  It's a cooling off period.  A "find yourself and what you want" time.  If you jump back in too soon, you run the risk of your new relationship being called a "rebound".  And when you rebound, you're not only entering a new relationship at a bad time, you're essentially saying, "I'm over that person."  I think it's safe to say the proper amount of time to wait after a 20- or 30-year marriage ends before you start dating is greater than one year. 

When I put myself in the situation, I put myself in place of the deceased (Why is that?  Is there something wrong with me?).  If I got the chance to tell Wendy something on my death bed, I'd laughingly say I hope she never dates again, then I'd say I hope she shows me the respect of waiting at least two years.  After that, do whatever the heck you want.  I'm dead.  What am I gonna do about it?  But for those two or so years after my death, show me a little respect by mourning me and remembering our relationship.  After that, move on. 

To be fair, there are definitely exceptions.  For a relationship that was on the rocks and doomed for some time, the recovery period can be really short.  That's because it was over before it was over.  Similarly, if one or both of the people were chronically sick for an extended period of time before they died, I could see how it might feel like the relationship had been over for a while.  But that goes back to my second point.  You gotta show respect, even if you don't feel like it. 

There's a whole other aspect to this:  The idea that the right person happened to come into the picture at a not-so-great time.  In other words, even though you weren't ready to date, you happened to meet someone, and we all know people can't control their feelings.  I'll come down harder on that excuse than any other:  That's total BS.  You're right:  You can't control your feelings.  But you can control what you do about them.  If everyone just went around doing whatever they felt like, we'd all be a bunch of murderous, adulterous, druggies.  Instead, we learn to control our impulses and desires, even if that means waiting for the right time. 

As I said at the beginning, my apologies to the family and friends of the people I'm talking about.  I don't think this woman is a horrible person, and I wouldn't call her a disrespectful jerk if I met her.  I just have a different view on the topic.  And although I think it should be universal, I'll accept the fact that it's not. #lifestyle
Presenteeism Feb 14, 2008
Presenteeism is when employees come to work when they're sick, as opposed to absenteeism, which is when employees don't come to work when they're not sick.  The New York Times (via Lifehacker) says you should stay home when you're sick, but I don't.  Unless I'm physically unable to perform the rigorous task of sitting at a computer all day and occasionally walking down the hall to get food or talk with co-workers, I go to work.  And really, the only illness that would make me physically unable to do these things is when I'm puking.  If I have a runny nose, sinus congestion, sore throat, cough, phlegm, or any other standard illness, it's almost never bad enough to make me stay home from work.  I guess I could stay home, what with the ridiculous amount of sick time I accumulate, but if I did, I'd pretty much be doing exactly the same thing as if I went to work:  Computery things.  Plus, by spreading my germs to otherwise healthy people, I'm helping their immune systems develop the necessary antibodies to fight off whatever virus I have.  So really, I'm doing a good thing by going to work sick. #health
Ice storm Feb 13, 2008


Ice is probably the coolest thing nature throws at us.  Literally throws. 

This picture was from the last ice storm in NJ, not the one yesterday. #nature
Four-wheel drive (4) Feb 13, 2008
Two thoughts on four-wheel drive: 

1.  The coefficient of friction is the ratio of the weight of an object to the force required to move the object.  For example, if a concrete block weighs 40 lbs and requires a 20-lb force to get it to move, the coefficient of friction between the block and the surface is 20/40 or 0.5. 

The coefficient of friction between rubber and ice is somewhere around 0.06.  In a vehicle with two driven wheels, the coefficient of friction between the tires and the ice is 0.12.  In a vehicle with four driven wheels, it's 0.24.  For comparison, the coefficient of friction between rubber and asphalt is around 0.6. 

In other words, you'll still slip and slide on messy roads whether you have four-wheel drive or not. 

2.  I can't find a reference at the moment, but I read recently that people who drive 4WD vehicles are more likely to drive recklessly in hazardous conditions than other people because they incorrectly believe their 4WD vehicle is safer. #travel
Explosions Feb 12, 2008
Possibly the best thing I ever saw on TV was a show called "World's Scariest Explosions Caught on Tape".  It was on for about 4 hours on a Saturday afternoon, and I believe I watched all 4 hours.  I felt like the show was written exclusively for me, like God said, "Hey Dave, check out this meaningless collection of dramaticized accidents involving explosions.  Enjoy, my child."  I think I was the target audience. #entertainment